I’m gathering my notes on a new story I plan to start updating once my WIP is complete. After playing around with it, I decided to try going for present tense because it felt more impactful to me. This would be my first time using present tense.
What I’m looking for:
- Feedback on this small excerpt (because it’s my first time doing present tense)
- Feedback/opinions on present tense (in general. Likes/dislikes, etc.)
- I suppose I should open up the floor to internal monologue as well, as there would be a lot of it in this story
Excerpt and General Story Idea:
(Click to open them)
Suddenly, one of the jurors glances back. I can see his aged skin from my seat. His hair is salt-and-pepper, gray and black, and he looks old enough to be my dad.
He has a daughter, I can tell by the way he’s looking at me.
I see something in his eyes - recognition. The lightbulb flickers on. I could be his daughter, I could be one of her friends. I could be his mother or his sister or his niece.
He has put a face to my story, because my face wasn’t good enough. I am not human until I matter to him.
The story follows a woman who has left her abusive boyfriend and is pursuing charges against him. It picks up in the ER after he had attacked her. By that point, she had already left the relationship but he was attempting to get her back.
The court case that follows spans the entire book and it ends with the verdict. There will be a really, really, really slow romantic sub-plot with a friend who supports her throughout.
Thanks to anyone willing to take a look