Help me fix my blurb?

I write this a while ago and didn’t realize how…not good it is. Any advice is appreciated!

Tanya and 9Fd4 are the only two Experiments who escaped in a failed breakout from the CBRO laboratory. They hid from the CBRO for three weeks, but the other Experiments were still trapped in the facility. When Tanya and 9Fd4 are found, Tanya must find a way to save her friends and fellow Experiments before one of them is put to death for the escape attempt.
Can she use her experiment-given abilities to free the Experiments before it’s too late?

Thanks in advance! :slightly_smiling_face:

When I read it the first time, I didn’t see anything glaring that could use improvement.

If I were to nitpick, I could maybe suggest elaborating on the acronym (I’m assuming it’s an acronym) CBRO.

Also, sometimes blurbs have more detail on what kind of people the main characters are, (personality, age, temperament, etc.) but sometimes that’s too much, so I’m really not sure on that one.

I think perhaps you could take out the second part of the second paragraph, “but the other Experiments were still trapped in the facility” because it sort of is implied when you mentioned that they are the only two who escaped. So then maybe we could combine the part about three weeks into another sentence, like

“Tanya and 9Fd4 are the only two Experiments who escaped in a failed breakout from the CBRO labratory. They hid from the CBRO for three weeks, but when they are found, Tanya must…”

But yeah, I think it’s a pretty good blurb to start with.

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Thanks! I like your suggestions :slightly_smiling_face:

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