Honest Critiques ( OPEN! )



I’d appreciate a read if you can find the time for my story “Hard Times”. I’m new to the forums so I’m unable to post the link… sorry :sweat_smile:

Thanks for the work that you do! we need more of you around!


Title: Adventures of Prince Vajendra

Genre: Fantasy

Meet Prince Vajendra, aka the so-called spiritual Rishi of the continent of Vishaputra, a flat earth. He’s a man not interested in saving the world, but having his own adventures. A man that can talk with Gods, deal with flying airships, throw exploding bombs into the air. He must retrieve the powers that an evil Pharoah, named Nahakasha has taken from him. This story goes into a series of episodic sub-plots more than an overarching story.

Which chapter: 1 for start, see how you like it!



Still working on everyone’s critiques. Tuesdays, and Wednesdays are my days off, so I reserve those for family time, and working on my own manuscripts. I have a lot of free time at work, so that’s when I can do your critiques lol.


Would you mind taking a look at my piece?


I’m not quite sure myself what to make of it and feedback is a wonderful way to learn and grow.


I don’t know why I’m particularly nervous to ask you to review my story. Here goes nothing. I hope my amateur story is worthy to be reviewed.



Title: Contemporary Love
Genre: Contemporary/Realistic Fiction/Young Adult Romance
Blurb: Two lovers take on the path of love in an unconventional way.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/164875545-contemporary-love


Death with a side of clam chowder
Author: NuclearPotatoes

Set in a dystopian future after humanity has to spread far into the cosmos after the destruction of earth. Series that takes the main character to many different planets: some rooted in science and some altered by circumstance to be more magically based

After the sudden deaths of her family, Isabelle is thrust into a world that is cruel and unjust. Her extended family treated her as little more than a servant and her fathers precious company is in the hands of a very bad man.

All Isabelle wants is to free herself from the clutches of evil and survive.

Little did she know that a world full of mystical madness and suprises at every corner would be what she found. Follow Isabelle as she unravels the truth and gets the one thing she wanted all along. Revenge.

Its still only 5 chapters and I plan to make this into a series so it hasn’t developed too much yet!


Story Title: The Price of Beauty
Story URL: https://www.wattpad.com/story/154260159-the-price-of-beauty
Chapters you want me to critique (max 3): Can you take an extra prologue? First three chapters and a prologue would be good :nerd_face:
Brief blurb: Simple name. Simple hair. Simple life. Claire Johnson was the exact image of a completely simple girl. And maybe she was, until she wanted to be more than that, or perhaps, realised she could be more than that.

But what was the price of beauty?

A story about a young girl going through various drama, forced to make choices, and her life lessons along the timeline.
Genre: Teen Fiction, Chicklit
Password: BTS
In-line comments (best option), PM, or one brief, bulky comment: In-line comments will be okay, but if you see huge mistakes that I need to focus on, feel free to highlight it in a PM.

I can drop a hello in your conversations or a follow if necessary :nerd_face:


Title: Stone of Kairos
Genre: YA Fantasy
Chapters: I only have chapter one posted, so that one!
Blurb: Living in the slums was never the ideal life for Amara, especially under Empress Ednai’s harsh reign. Amara is not alone though, despite how desperately she wishes she was. She shares the residence with Kari, a tempered girl with an obsession for machetes.

Amara thought it couldn’t get any worse, but the Empress starts to set strict rules; eventually leading to a mass genocide of people living in the slums.

Desperate for revenge, Amara, Kari, and their new alliances, seek out ways to avenge the people of the slums.

On a mission to find the Staff of Strison - the only weapon that can defeat Empress Ednai - the trio must complete a potion that requires the most valued possession of three different realms. The first ingredient they need: the most magical stone in the desert.

Follow along as the new allies work together, despite their differences, to accomplish one goal they all have in common - defeat the evil Empress.

Thank you in advance! x




hey there!
I wouldn’t mind a review of my current work so far, it’s only six chapters as of rn.
Title: Criminal
Description: In a corrupted city fallen under rule to a dictatorship, Nia Velore has dug her grave fighting for freedom – and she’s ready to lay in it. The Guard has offered her a chance at saving her mother’s life, but the price is high: Fight for the other team. go Guard.
Become a traitor.
If coming to terms with her betrayal wasn’t enough to deal with, Nia is forced to team up with an old friend that blew her trust, and a team that doesn’t trust her – save for the annoyingly talented bounty hunter who she can’t seem to get out of her head.
Her life is turned upside down as she tries to survive in a world she worked so hard to destroy… but as bridges are built and burned, secrets are uncovered, and lies are finally brought to light, Nia will have to face the hardest fact yet: maybe she didn’t end up on the wrong side of the war after all.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/171145912-criminal

TBH I’m worried that the quality of my chapters is dwindling as the story continues, so if you notice this is the case please LMK!


Thanks in advance
TITLE Therapy sessions of an almost functioning human
LINK https://www.wattpad.com/story/173039606-therapy-sessions-of-an-almost-functioning-human
WHY I STARTED WRITING I’ve always felt a need to write stories and I felt whole when I did. It is the only moment where I can do something I truly adore. Creating imaginary characters truly makes me feel alive even when I feel lost (usually at 3 a.m)
I’M HOPING for an honest review, no sugar coating
SUMMARY I’m starting this story where this girl tries to make her way through life while trying not to take the absudity of existence too seriously. Tell me what you think about it :wink:

"-I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

-Fair enough."

Here’s a little quote

I waved at her and made my way down the stairs and through the glass door of the bulding. I closed it, feeling the cold handle on my fingers and the crispy winter air engulf me in a warm embrace.
What a lovely day not to commit suicide, I thought to myself before heading to my house.