How do I get rid of negative thoughts and feelings?

I’m really upset, mad, and disappointed right now, and I think I might explode. See–I bottled my feelings inside of me or suppressed them. Every once in a while it spills out, but by that point I don’t care about it. I’m tired of everything.

My mom yells at me for saying ‘No’ to autistic niece, I love her to death. But, I have a life too, and I rarely say the word ‘No’ to any one of my siblings. Then she compared me one of my sisters’ and talked about isolation. That got me upset even more.

Anyways… How should I get rid of these negative feelings?

Hiya!

I’m sorry you’re feeling down. I have been processing depression my whole life, and there are a few ways I do so. I’m by no means an expert, but maybe what works for me might help you.

  • Journaling is a quick and direct way of processing. If you’re worried about security there are a lot of free diary apps with lock features. I like LunaDiary and Writeaday most. You can let it all out and not have to look at it again if you don’t want to.

  • Meditation is another great one. It’s hard to get the hang of, but its proven to be very effective. Insight Timer has the largest free mediation database and you can find what style works for you. Mine is guided meditations.

  • If possible, try talking with her about how she made you feel. I understand this isn’t an option for everyone, but if it is for you, stick to “I feel” statements like “i felt really hurt by what you said” instead of “you really hurt my feelings” because people don’t truly know how their actions affect others and no one likes being directly accused.

Of course, writing is also a hugely beneficial resource.

I hope this helps!

3 Likes

As I can read you, I understand why you feel these negative feeling. I think @Weillyn described some great ways to get through. If you can’t try talking with your mom, do you have another person near you with whom you could share what you live, what you feel?

1 Like

@Weillyn Thank you for answering me. I write all the time and I love it. I will try to meditate.

I sometimes can’t talk to my mom about it, because she cause or make a big deal out of it. My siblings relates to me, but some of them are the cause of my negative thoughts as well. I’m better off alone or writing in a diary.

2 Likes

Understood! My best advice for release through writing: pull out the stops. Your writing is a place for you to explore and grow in skill and character. Don’t be afraid to include your plights in your writing. IMO, the best plots are written from experience.

If I remember any other ways that have helped me, I’ll post them right away! I hope you’re doing well :slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes

Get a drum kit; or find another energy infused way of venting. The other ideas are great too (and I use them myself) but its sometimes great to do something physical… Go for a run or a walk with some music on -something high energy!

2 Likes

It’s totally normal for every one of us to have our moments, especially in times like these.

Find your why, why do you feel the way you do? What causes these feelings? Take time for you and do things you love. And please speak up, talk to someone you trust, don’t ever push your feelings it’s not good for you, not healthy.

Hope I helped you in some kind of way, have a great day. :blush:

1 Like

I’m not the best at advice, but for me, the first step is internal validation. When we suppress our feelings, it can become easy to resent them, which is understandable. However, sometimes this turns into self-loathing or irritation toward having those emotions.

Your frustrations are valid, and it’s also important for you not to beat yourself up over your feelings or what your mom said to you. You’re not your sister. It’s not fair for your mother to make comparisons like that as a means of criticism. It’s okay to say no and assert personal boundaries. Your frustration and fatigue are understandable. Unfortunately, some family members respond poorly to boundaries that they feel inhibit themselves and others, and it can be tempting just to not set them up to avoid drama and conflict, but being persistent can work. Some family members are more stubborn than others, but it can work with consistency.

Another thing is coping mechanisms, which is hard to determine because these are vastly different for everyone. Me, I write, watch movies and YouTube videos, and play games. Sometimes, I take a walk. I saw you love writing, so maybe that can help. :slight_smile:

Hoping for the best. <3

1 Like

@Weillyn @_passionate_woman @Bellkipeg @Ilnu-Plume_Blanche Thank you to all of you for helping me. Those answers are really helpful and I will try every last one of them. I’m doing a little bit better now and I hope you all are doing well too.

4 Likes

I am really happy to hear that. I am good, thank you. :heart: