I’m writing a murder mystery (with a hint of horror mixed in), and I’m trying to make my gory scenes a little more… disturbing.
How do you think I can improve on this scene?
Freyja and Caden slowed their pace, now standing behind me as I inched my way toward the other side of the metal, where a patch of fire burned. Tori lay on the floor, her skin torn up from the explosion, her body caught debris from the vehicle. Fire burned her body to a crisp, the stench of flesh rose into my nostrils.
^ By the way, to recap what’s happening: my MC (Asher) and some of his friends (Freyja and Caden) just arrived at his house because they saw an explosion. Tori was working on a car (trying to fix it) and the car had a bomb… AKA, the explosion.