oooooooo a mystery!! i would definitely keep reading. this is an awesome way to start a story–the language and concepts are striking and unique. you also give a great insight into the characters’ personalities in just a couple paragraphs. Athena seems pretty unyielding and Adelaide seems like an actual human (unlike a lot of characters) so 10/10 on that front.
i have to give you a 9/10 because there are a couple teeny tiny things i would change. the first thing is in this sentence:
it reads sort of clunkily as it is. here’s an idea of how you could change it: "But somehow, Athena was cornering Adelaide in her own office, the unspoken threat of termination hanging over her head if she refused to do it."
but idk that’s not gospel obviously. my second problem is in this sentence:
and this is really nitpicky but the semicolon should probably be a comma because it’s an independent clause. uwu hella nitpicky. 9/10!!
here is mine:
Except for bursting into flames half an hour after takeoff, the new airplane had flown beautifully. It was a beautiful night, too–cold and clear over the Mojave, not a breath of wind to nudge the rudder off its centerline. And Blaise Wilder was spending the calm evening in a wash, watching a firestorm erupt in the sagebrush near the crash site. Somebody wanted him dead. Staring at his own palms, blistered by heat, he had never been more sure of it.