Wear a hairnet underneath your hat and dispose at a cafeteria
Make sure the victim has no connection to you whatsoever
If he/she does then delete your contract on their phone
So burn the sim card and the memory card as well so data of the phone is wiped completely
Then burn the hat and the gloves as well
Bring spare clothes and shoes during the murder and when you done with murdering burn the old clothes and shoes
Wood chipper + Pigs = Free meat for pigs and digested person
That’s all I have lmao
But what you had was great…
Cut out the woodchipper - too much physical evidence. You can never clean those blades enough. Same goes for chainsaws. I should know…
If you’re playing the long game, take the batteries out of their carbon monoxide detector and let nature take it’s course.
Icicle is the perfect murder weapon, melts clean away leaving no trace.
Murder by buggery?
Actually enthusiastic shagging with someone with heart condition or otherwise a bit fragile is quite a good way to bump them off.
Stage a fake suicide, where you leave a note on the computer, so you can’t check the handwriting, and write something clichéd so you don’t study the message.
Also leave no fingerprints
Considering the pain in the bum it was lifting prints in my old college CSI class, I know best to make sure not to leave such damning evidence.
That would be good for premeditated murder, but if I ended up commiting a crime of passion, I’d probably just go for an acid bath if I can get the materials easily. If not, see whose being buried at a run down cemetery (less chance of good cameras in area) in the morning in and get rid of a body there and throw a bit of dirt over it.
Honestly, if the police need to find a murderer, this place is the best place to look for them. We all sound like psychopaths