- How you found out you were LGBT+
I realized I was not straight in eighth grade. I had a best friend who told me she liked girls, I realized that was a Thing people could do (I was very sheltered as a child).
I did not find out I was trans until my Senior year of high school. It took a lot of hearing other people share their experiences as trans people and recognizing my bodily discomfort as dysphoria for it to… Click.
As my gender identity evolved, so did my sexuality. I kinda liked boys in high school but nowadays the only man-ish person who has my sexual interest is my partner and… He’s an in the closet trans woman. Note: I is he/him for him because that is what he wants me using.
Which leads me to: use whatever fucking pronouns someone tells you to use. Don’t argue, don’t try and go “well grammatical rules say…” Cause you’re wrong. They/them has existed as a singular pronoun since fucking Shakespeare.
Anyway. Currently I identify as nonbinary and Sapphic. I don’t feel lesbian is appropriate FOR ME because I don’t identify with womanhood, however, there are nonbinary lesbians. They exist.
I think it needs to be said that coming out isn’t a one-time thing. You have to constantly out yourself, or not, to different people all the time. You have to remind some people - a lot of people - a lot. And if your identity changes? You have to come out again.
I came out to my mother as bisexual on her birthday in a Denny’s. She didn’t take it well - mostly because she’s a narcissist and hated that I decided her birthday was the best time to tell her. And really, it wasn’t, but I knew if I didn’t say it then, that I never would.
I came out to my dad as bisexual while we were discussing why I wanted to kill myself.
I came out to my partner as bisexual basically right off the bat. That has since changed to “lesbian” which is easier than explaining wtf Sapphic is.
And really, most people in my life know that I am sapphic. Nonbinary, though? Different story. I’m very public about it online, however only a handful of people know irl.
- How people reacted (good and bad)
See above. After my mother got over her initial anger, she was fine with it, though she gets inexplicably angry when I make gay jokes. Shrug
- How you overcame any form of discrimination or prejudice
I never really faced much as a bisexual/lesbian-identified person. Nonbinary, on the other hand…
I’ve had several people invalidate mine or my character’s pronouns because they think they/them grammatically incorrect. See my above rant. It is not. Really, most of the transphobia I’ve experienced have been directed at my characters. People in the threads have harassed me because the characters are suddenly “other”. I’ve had people in the comments repeatedly misgendering and dehumanizing my characters because they are trans.
Meanwhile, I find myself unable to come out at my place of work. I tried to bring it up to my HR manager once while protecting my identity and was met with intense confusion. Several coworkers have made transphobia comments that make me feel unsafe. Even my roommates are filled with cis ignorance, constantly belittling trans experiences and putting to question their behavior. My roommate once said “all the trans people I’ve met need to act more human. They act so scared all the time” which, honestly, sounds more like an anxiety disorder than them being trans. But whatever. He also does not know I’m trans. It is what it is, I guess.
- Anything else you want to share that you feel may benefit my story
See all the above. Treat us like humans. Be respectful. Don’t focus on our genitals. Do not use “she/he” or “s/he”. It’s super disrespectful. Use whatever pronouns match how your character identifies. I.E: if they’re a trans man, use he/him. Avoid “they’re x sex, becoming y sex”. Just stick to "they’re a trans (gender)
Also note I use “they” here throughout but that doesn’t mean you should use they for a character unless those are their pronouns