I need some serious advice- mental health related

This is for the adults. Not that I don’t value young teens and their advice, but I’m not sure you’d really know enough to have solid footing.

I really need someone to talk with me about this because everyone around me just makes a face and shrugs/ignores me.

Details

I’m 20 and I have severe psychotic (seeing things - not like the movie Psycho) depression. I was put on a higher dose of my antidepressant and I got seizures. Obviously it was a problem but I had been on it for years so I figured my dr would just lower it a bit.

Instead she told me to taper off the 450mg dose in two days and take the prescribed seizure medication (which does not control mood at all to be clear). My next appointment is in december. I have really bad mood problems. I’m medicated for the ‘psychotic’ issues but I’ve been taking a lower dose of the antidepressant bc I feel really uncomfortable and unsafe just not taking anything at all for a month.

I’m concerned about withdrawls for one and being suicidal (which is a very serious issue that my antidepressant was mostly controlling).

:worried:
Big question: Do you guys think I should drop it like she told me even though it would more or less leave me spiralling? Do you think there’s a reason she wanted me to or did she just not think about me losing it.
I’m honestly very desperate for opinions because I’m scared she might have a reason and get mad at me for taking my meds into my own hands.

Thanks

Note

Please be noted that I do understand you are not doctors and do not know any of the medical details or what effects your nonmedical opinions may cause. I am taking everything with a pound of salt. Your advice is in no way putting you at fault for anything. I just really need someone to not ignore me.

Is there a way for you to contact your doctor before your next appointment? I’d recommend doing that if so.

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God have I tried. I can only call and check to see if anyone canceled so I can wiggle a closer appointment. Unfortunately I cannot talk to my doctor. Which would solve so many issues if I could.

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She is a part of a very large building with therapists, doctors (head and normal), pharamacy, financial help, all sorts of things. So nobody can really go past the middlemen at the front desk.

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Maybe telling your doctor at the appointment those exact questions.

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You said I should drop it, but I’m afraid it will leave me more or less spiraling. Is there a reason?

You should be able to feel like you are able to say what you want and make decisions on the medicine you do or do not take. I understand that you are not a medical professional and may not know what’s ‘best’, but if you feel uncomfortable with something, I think it’s your right to be able to get answers and to be able to have this on your terms.

But I just want to say that I relate to this so much. I have problems similar to this all the time. It’s a very stressful situation.

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Sadly I don’t think of what seems off until I’m out of the room. I have really frazzled thoughts. And my grandmother, who goes with me, didn’t say anything until we left the building.

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Do you have access to a nurse, pharmacist, or hospital with a mental health wing? If you are fearful of what might happen without medication, it seems like you need another opinion. Obviously the seizures are a problem, and your doctor knows you, but I think your concerns are valid. (Edited to add: I meant people that you could call for advice, but I forgot to say that part up there)

Riiight!? Ugh that is the worst. I started writing things down in a notebook or on the notes on my phone. That helps a little.

But I totally get you! I’ve gone in and left, and then walked to the car where my mom is waiting and tell her what we discussed and she asks a question and I’m just like … um… i dunno.

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To be fair I did think the seizure medication was also for mood. It wasn’t until I realized it was nothing more than a seizure medication that I started getting really worried.

I just noticed this part. Did she say to taper it off to nothing or to what you were taking before?

The place I see my dr at is the closest place and if I go to a hospital with my track record I’ll get put in inpatient for 5 days or more. And honestly I only like to go in absolute emergencies since it piles on a lot of after agreements like therapy and insurance stuff. So keep calling until I get a new appointment or hospitalize myself are my only options in that regard.

I have to bring my grandmother because I can’t tell yesterday from last year. Not exaggerated. If someone says something and asks me to repeat it I can’t even get more than two words.

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To nothing at all. Which I find both dangerous and confusing. I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure she told me to get off of it. It kinda shocked me so I remember it.

I’m no doctor nor do I know your circumstances other than what you’ve included, so I can’t give you direct advice. However, I wanted to ask, do you have family or close friend(s) who can be your advocate? It sounds like you’re at least “fighting” for yourself, but it really helps to have someone to go to appointments with you and be your sounding board.

If you’re not comfortable with this doctor, BE SURE TO CHANGE!!! We don’t get second opinions enough! To put a personal spin on this, my dd was told by two orthopedic surgeons she needed major spinal surgery. I pushed for a specific type of brace I found in research, and now she is well out of surgery range, just after 6 months! So, fight fight fight! Don’t give up. And please lean on whomever is in your world, including us.

MoFoMi, you are not alone!!! :heart:

I actually really like her. She seems to really listen to what I say. I have a bad issue with not being able to talk for myself. An issue from abuse.

I take my grandmother with me. She doesn’t have a problem with bringing something up and asking questions. So she helps me a bit when I can’t bring myself to speak.

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I keep forgetting this is a thing. I’m sorry. I really think you should get a second opinion as soon as possible. It seems like you should have been given a different medication to replace the one you are taking away, not just the seizure drugs.

If you call your doctor and ask to clarify if you are supposed to go down to your old dose or take a new prescription, will your doctor call you back? This is pretty standard procedure where I am but it sounds like your doctor doesn’t reply to you outside of office visits which is very unhelpful. This is a big deal. Do you have people around you who know what to watch for and can help if something happens?

More info

I’m pretty sure she wanted me to get off of the medication because I had had 3 seizures five days apart from each other and I think it really concerned her. Especially since I had never had a seizure before in my life.

I’m glad you have an advocate. :heart: Big hugs to you, my friend! Don’t you give up! Still get a second and even third opinion.

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It is a bit but they see a large amount of people and I assume with how unwell, paranoid, easy to freak out that we mentally ill can sometime be that being able to call the doctor would take up a extreme amount of her time.

They sort of do, but they don’t understand a lot of it so if its not seizures or physical they wouldn’t really do anything. My boyfriend isn’t quite sure how to take anything because I can be quite dramatic when emotional and its hard to tell if its hot air or a real emergency. And when I’m in the middle of it I’m not there enough to help figure it out.

Well the question is, are you able to track your suicidal thoughts? Are you able to feel when you’re about to head into a severe depressive mood? Have you done CBT?

If the answer is no then maybe heading to the ER moght be a safe option.

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