In-Depth critiques

Hello to all aspiring writers of Wattpad! Do you need some feedback on your story? Tips? Advice? I’m here to offer all of that through in-line commenting or a nice big wall of text at the end of your story. I can touch on grammar, punctuation, characters/world building, sentence structures, ect… All for a very simple payment: A follow and an honest comment (or many) on my new book ‘Beyond’. What’s the catch? I’ll only do one chapter at a time.


  1. I won’t review books with adult themes or 18+ ratings
  2. I probably won’t be able to review fan-fictions either.
  3. Once I’ve confirmed your request, you must complete the payment first and I’ll get to critiquing your chosen chapter.


Focus: (Grammar, punctuation, charcters ect…)
Form of comment: (In-lines or wall of text)

Hope to hear from you soon!

Title: Death’s Assassin
Chapter: This is tricky. Each chapter builds on the one before it, so I guess I would say the first chapter. But, the 4th was just added, and I introduce a new character in that one, so I’m interested to see if you like how it flows. Either way, first chapter, 4th chapter, all the chapters, you can decide :joy:
Focus: Suspense building/intrigue building/does it make sense
Form of comment: Whichever you prefer! I don’t mind either!

Title: Love Lie
Chapter: 15 or 16
Focus: Characters and paragraph structure
Form of comment: Either type of comment is fine

Request accepted! Complete your payment and I’ll read your chapters until chapter 4, critique that one and provide some tips on the first 3 if needed.

1 Like

Title: Among the Fallen
Chapter: 23
Focus: (Grammar, punctuation, charcters ect…): Dialogue, Descriptions, and Suspense Factor
Form of comment: (In-lines or wall of text): Wall of Text (in-line comments if you have any glaring grammatical issues)

Hi there! My story here is a more realistic take on the superhero genre (and with supernatural elements to it), advertised as a mystery. It focuses on the characters rather than the plot (though, that doesn’t mean I don’t focus on the plot at all), and I sometimes worry if that makes the story feel boring.

Title: Suffocating
Chapter: Umm, I don’t quite understand. Are you asking about how many chapters it has (13), or which chapter I want you to critique (it doesn’t matter, really)?
Focus: How realistic my characters are, and whether or not my mystery story makes you actually want to find out what the mystery is. Whether it’s boring or not, basically.
Form of comment: I’m fine with both :slight_smile:

The payment is done. I look forward to your critiques.

Complete :slight_smile:

Hey thank you so much for doing this!
Title:Silver Bullets
Chapter: I have five chapters which are quite small so if possible pls do read all of them!
Focus: (Grammar, punctuation, charcters ect…) Plot
Form of comment: (In-lines or wall of text) In lines

PS I will start the payment once you have accepted!

Chapter as in which chapter(s) you want me to critique. Keep in mind that there’s only so much I can do at once and my critique will be pretty detailed.

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Great,will start working on it right now!

Request accepted. Once the payment is complete, I’ll get right to it!

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Request accepted, but yours might take some time. Thank you!

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  1. phattimaddi
  2. ClementineDavidson
  3. thesongist (waiting for payment)
  4. Mellisa2731 (waiting for payment)
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Will do the payment right away!

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Finished the payment!

Payment completed! Follow completed on @/themoralist

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Ah. In that case, the main chapter I’d like you to critique is Chapter 5 (AKA Illusion; V) and whether or not the suspense is actually suspenseful. That’s the real main one I feel unconfident about.

The rest is perhaps Chapter 4 and 7 (AKA Illusion; IV and Illusion; VII) and whether or not it gives more depth and flair of mystery to the characters. How it makes them seem less bland.

That’s all, really :slight_smile:

1 Like

Eyyy, thanks fam!

Would you be willing to read an au fanfic (the only thing that makes it a fanfic is the names and looks of like 6 people).

Title: The Lost Children of Saturn
Chapter: 1
Focus: (Grammar, punctuation, charcters ect…) : the characters and the overall flow. If it makes sense
Form of comment: (In-lines or wall of text): In-lines and an overall summary of your feedback