Is sex more attractive in books?

I thought he mentioned something like “why do you think the bad boy books are so popular” but I admit, I don’t feel like scrolling back through all of that to find the specific quote.

Consent. I love when consent is romanticised because honestly, that’s so damn sexy.

Communication. I don’t think there’s anything more hot than someone just making sure their partner is having a fun time - and obviously make it sexy like “you like that?” when doing something new.

Jumping into the character’s heads and hear what they’re feeling, and not just having it rely on all action. It has to be a good balance.

Oh this is a good question. There’s this super cute one in Jennifer L Armentrout Titan Series where the FMC tells the MMC she loves him and he just gets super overwhelmed. Proclaiming love and then making love is probably my favourite erotica trope. I’m a very fluffy person when it comes to literature.

Honestly? Because it’s fun. I enjoy writing sex scenes and my readers enjoy reading them. I like to show the characters bond in the most basic and human way there is. It leaves them vulnerable and I love when my readers tell me, they feel like they got invited to something very private. That makes me feel like I’m doing a good job of writing erotic love, rather than the characters trying to put on a show in a porno way.

Yeah… I’m just overall super fluffy with my explicit sex scenes. It’s all about that romance.


He may have said that as well earlier but I quote and address the other thing in THIS POST if you want to jump to it to get the overall gist.

(edited for wrong link)

I write adult romantic thrillers and include sex scenes all the time. But I hate when the chapter is labeled:


It’s a major spoiler!. Instead, I put a general disclaimer at the beginning of the book that says there is violence, sex, language, etc. and it may not be for everyone. As long as your story is labeled MATURE it shouldn’t offend anyone.

I think for a lot of readers who choose to read adult romance, they expect the main protagonists to eventually have sex. It’s usually a big moment in the story. It’s up to you how graphic you want to make it. You could read some other sex scenes and get a general idea of how mild or steamy you can take it.

Really I think it just depends on the individual story. If you can see it fitting in well with your story, then why not?


I’ll answer my own questions as well.

I pretty much agree with everything @AWFrasier said. Consent, communication, and feeling.

I think the emotional component of a sex scene is really important. We need to related to the characters in a way that aids the story. If it’s just a lot of “Person 1 inserted X into Person 2’s Y” it gets boring really fast. And there is nothing worse than boring sex.

I’ll also add: At least a passing knowledge of anatomy. And preferably a layman’s understanding of physics.

As I’ve said previously on this thread, I really like how Sarah Waters handles sex scenes. They feel neither too clinical not two overly flowery.

When it feels right.

Which isn’t a real answer I know.

None of my current novels up on Wattpad have sex scenes at the moment. Stronger at the Broken Places (Harlots fanfic) definitely will as will Salt and Bone and my NaNoWriMo novel. S.E.W.I. may or it may have “fade to black.” I haven’t decided on that one yet.


Me too.

It’s even worse when it’s added in the middle of the chapter.


First, sorry for spilling my emotional ass posts all over here because I’m super emotional lmfao.

But, I just find it so mind-boggling and intense to not have any disclaimers, spoilers, triggers, and warnings in the middle of the chapters. I know, people truly disagree about that. I can TOTALLY understand why. I am not disputing that and don’t really have a problem with the books that do this. I have triggers myself but it’s just something, personally, I don’t do with my own books. I just don’t like being robbed of my emotions - either positive or negative.

And, when I’m reading something, I want the writer to carry with me with them. Take me for the ride and don’t break my immersion. Don’t worry about me. Forget all about me. Get lost in your writing, show me it all. Give. It. To. Me. Raw, fresh, emotional, brutal. Don’t give me spoilers, don’t worry about me. I picked mature. I selected this book. Let me be disturbed, let me be surprised, let me shocked, allow me to throw the book at the wall in disgust! This is the beauty of writing.

Personally, if you’re writing a great slowburn (and this is my opinion), there isn’t a need for the chapter warnings. You spend 10 chapters building up tension, 20,000 words teasing me, and if you can so skillfully write in a way that it’s integrate your triggers, spoilers, etc., into the actual story itself I just find it beautiful to see on Wattpad. I feel the same way with author’s notes. That is a talented writer. That is a real author right there that can write a good romance.


Give. It. To. Me. YESSS! Very well said.

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I’m going to answer these questions, because why the hell not, ha.

What do you think is the most important part of writing a good sex scene?

For me, in stories, emotions, tension, sensations, light to no dialogue during the act, unless it’s a sigh of ecstasy or some words that just slip. I don’t mind a little silliness, too. Character accidentally kicks the light over on the nightstand with their foot. It happens. LOL. Anything that connects me to realism.

What are some of your favorite sex scenes in fiction?

I actually don’t read that many books with sex scenes in them but I read books about sex, if that makes sense. It’s origins, how it’s viewed in other cultures, etc., things like that. I’m more of a sucker for those books, though, I’ve been hunting around for more stories with sex scenes in them, actually added Sarah Waters to my Amazon read list because I’ve never heard of her, and judging by your posts, you know what you’re talking about and I want to have a read.

What makes you decide to include a sex scene in a novel?

I’m going to mimic the previous answer and just say if it fits. Sometimes sex never occurs to me, and I don’t feel a need to add it whatsoever. Other times, it’s like, eh yeah, I’m going to make you guys have sex. I know you’re waiting for me to write it (talking to my characters LOLL). It’s like my characters are alive people, and I don’t want to leave them frustrated.

I think people really don’t understand how self-insert books or bad boy books with self inserts or that entire genre even work.

The reason they’re so popular is because of the power portrayal and the way they portray the protagonist aka you. There’s a certain feeling of power that these fantasies give the one reading–that they are lustworthy and charming and mysterious and that they have everyone at their fingertips. They’re so powerful that a celebrity or a hero falls at their knees to them.

When reading about bad boys in books many of the times they’re either ‘changed’ or otherwise become a partner versus just a fuck buddy. While this isn’t real life it does afford the reader things like confidence and self-assurance and in general a feeling of power.

I would argue that the books that have weird erotic kinks that people who aren’t into the bdsm and whatnot scene tend to balk at actually give all the consent you need. YOU are reading and can stop any time. You know what you’re reading is not actually in real life. You are in control.

That’s the same reason that rapeplay in bdsm culture is entirely different from being turned on or wanting to be raped.

I’m assuming the market for these types of books on Wattpad are for younger readers. I think that self-insert type books and books where you are a character and everyone is attracted to you, etc. while may be bad writing give young teens a sense of confidence and self-assurance, a place where they can feel in control and powerful during a time of their life where they have no control and little power.


They’re actually pretty big on the whole ‘trigger warnings’ stuff in books right now.

My editor had me make an author’s note about the content in mine since there’s a bunch of graphic stuff.


What do you think is the most important part of writing a good sex scene?

I think it depends on what you are trying to achieve by including the sex scene. Are you trying to show how in love the characters are? Then write a slow, sweet love scene. Have your characters been holding out and finally they just can’t take it? Maybe have them rip each others clothes off and smash into things on the way to the bedroom (cliché, I know, but effective). For me, it needs to be believable. If it suits your characters personalities, is realistic, and conveys emotion, then it’s a winner.

What are some of your favorite sex scenes in fiction?

I just read the books The Kings of Cool, and Savages by Don Winslow. There isn’t a ton of sex in them but the sex that is in it is done well. It is believable for the characters, raw, and real. And not cheesy at all.

What makes you decide to include a sex scene in a novel?

I included them in my novel because that’s what I like to read. They always say to write the book that YOU would want to read, so I knew sex would be included. If a big part of your story is a relationship then sex would typically be a part of that. (For consenting adults anyways). It might not fit with every story but for mine it did.

I used to read them when I was younger. In my defense, I didn’t exactly put much thought into it. It was just something that happened to show up in most teen books. Like, alright. This guy smokes cigarettes. A little on the strange side. Has this shady pick-up truck. Doesn’t like commitment. I never viewed him as like, a “bad boy” just this dude with these individual habits. Just thought it was his character.

Part of me couldn’t necessarly relate to in a personal way, either so it was like, just reading the story impersonally. Going to this shady guy that smokes bedroom to have bad boy sex, this is where we’re going. Alrighty then. LOL. I never put much deep thought into it or felt a certain type of way.

If sex was more attractive in books than in real life, then we wouldn’t have 7 billion people on this planet :joy:

People are more willing to READ about sex than talk about it, for sure, especially women. And they definitely enjoy it because it’s a lone activity that you can keep to yourself unless you want to talk about it with a group of fellow readers/fans (50 Shades of Grey/the Romance genre in general is the best example of this).

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Indeed. Also: I loving your historical books BTW!

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Ohh, why thank you! I didn’t know I had an active reader :heart_eyes: You made my day.

Depends how you write a sex scene. It’s horses for courses. I can’t stand vulgar sex scenes. I like them sensual. Once it gets crude you’ve lost me. But sexual tension? Now that will hold my interest forever.

It could be Yes. It could be No.

There are books I read that has no sex but, man! I love that story! I read it 4x!

There are books also that i read with lots smut that I dropped because I’m tired of reading same lines that ‘cum’! Lol

If it fits to the story, its good.

Me, I’m writing a story with a smut (upcoming chapters) because it is needed in my whole plot and ending.

for me it’s over once the purple prose starts

Huh, its the reason why few authors has millions of followers!