I’m trying to master third person omniscient. This is the first paragraph of Ch.1 of my third person omniscient WIP. Am I doing this correctly? I tried to take this scene as me (the narrator) telling someone a story, so I begin with Henry (the son) and then go to Mordecai (the father) but then describe the father and what the father is thinking (which I know because I’m the narrator).
Should I maybe not describe Mordecai (the father) in the first scene? But I’m not head hopping…help? Is saying “Henry froze in the dark” a head hop?
Henry froze in the dark at the call of his name. The lights turned on and his father stood in the doorway to his study. Mordecai was a big man with a belly, but not morbidly obese. He adorned a thick mustache he combed every morning that at the end of the day lay flat on his face as if someone had stuck fur on his lip. His mustache twitched as he glared down at his son thinking how pathetic of a boy he was. Mordecai could not understand why his son broke every rule, while knowing there were painful, unavoidable consequences.