6/10 - it is a little wordy
But it’s also just totally lost on me. This is not my genre at all.
It also feels a little insider-ish? Like the mention of “national razor” left me confused. I don’t know if it’s a language barrier or if it’s a reference I’m just not getting.
I’d like to know more about the French Guillotine Guns? Who are they? What do they do? Why did he take a job there instead of somewhere else? What relevance does it have to the plot?
The way this sentences is phrased
makes me unsure of who the mistaken necrophiliac is. Hemato or the girl who died? Names would be useful here as you have two people with the same pronoun. And how is she a mistaken necrophiliac? That’s a pretty big bomb to just gloss over like that, you know?
You have a lot of very powerful points and words, but the way it’s written right now, just confuses me. I don’t know who Anne-Marie is. She hasn’t been introduced (unless she was the girl who died?)
You do explain the setting very well though and it definitely feels dystopian with some Sci-fi flare over it.
Hope this helps
Inmate C41 is the youngest registered feral; someone unable to control his animal urges and aggressions. Imprisoned for as long as he can remember, he has only known life inside the colourless walls of the Feral Youth Rehabilitation Center in Ireland.
Upon turning eighteen, C41 is transferred to the Adult Feral Rehabilitation Center in Scotland and finds the place to be nothing like the Irish one. The biggest change is the supervisor he is assigned during transfer. Birdie, a mysterious American agent, endlessly probes him with questions. But C41 does the only thing he thinks will help him survive - he lies.
Secrets soon follow the lies, and as the deceptions mount, the walls that C41 built around himself begin to crack. He wonders if he was ever feral to begin with and if the reason he went to prison happened as he was told. With his entire world threatening to implode upon him as he tries to uncover the truth, the one thing C41 knows for sure is:
He needs to get the fuck out of prison.