Is your story interesting? [Based on title + summary]

writing

#202

That sounds like such a cool concept, I love unreliable narrators / protagonists. Sounds like there’d be loads of mystery and plot twists etc. The title also fits it perfectly. It sounds very interesting. 9/10

Title: Bat Club

Synopsis: An artistic low-life, a charming con-man and a compulsive liar with glittery heels cross paths, becoming caught in an endless circle of betrayal.


#203

9/10 I freaking love the title! It’s awesome! The summary is gripping even though it is very short! But the shortness makes it better

No one
Christopher Santes is an ordinary teenage boy living on the planet of New Earth. He goes to school, does his homework, paints and draws his own art- normal teenage stuff. But he dreams of travelling to see the stars. One problem- Interplanetary is forbidden by law and is a punishable offence on New Earth.

Enter Qin, a mysterious girl who saves Chris’s life and offers him a choice- stay on New Earth and continue his normal life or to come with her on a journey through time and space that will be fraught with danger and wonder in equal parts.

Enter Matteo, the new kid in Chris’s school. He has an uncanny knack for finding out everyone’s secrets and letting them slip to the world. But what will happen if he finds out about Chris’s illegal travels?

The more Chris travels the more he begins to question. Who exactly is Qin? Where is she from? What is the connection between her and his brother Alex who vanished under mysterious circumstances five years ago?


#204

It’s really interesting and detailed, doesn’t seem like my kind of story so I’d most likely skip it. 7’/10

Title : Ivory Black

Summary : Kai Haywood never thought anything of being adopted by a white family. What was the problem ? She had a stable home with two siblings and parents that loved her but that wasn’t the way Aaliyah Jackson saw it, in fact she made Kai second guess who she was. Kai soon realized how sheltered her life was.


#206

It’s really interesting and detailed, doesn’t seem like my kind of story so I’d most likely skip it. 7’/10

Title : Ivory Black

Summary : Kai Haywood never thought anything of being adopted by a white family. What was the problem ? She had a stable home with two siblings and parents that loved her but that wasn’t the way Aaliyah Jackson saw it, in fact she made Kai second guess who she was. Kai soon realized how sheltered her life was.


#207

Title 8/10, I really like it. But the summary is confusing. Is Aaliyah Jackson someone in the family? Or it someone just trying to stir up trouble?


Perfection

Nobody’s perfect, and we all have our flaws. Those imperfections are what make us human.

Phineas is a firm believer in these fundamental truths, so when Alygra breezes into town and appears to defy them, he can’t help but feel that something is off.

Under normal circumstances, his objection to Alygra dating his brother could be dismissed as jealousy, but it quickly becomes clear these are not normal circumstances when his brother’s personality begins to change in ways that can’t be explained.

Phineas knows there’s something insidious hiding behind her perfection, but he needs to discover what it is and whether it’s too late.


#208

10/10.

This is one of the best blurbs I read! Its detailed and leaves me wanting to know more. I would definitely read this! Also I love the title :smile:

Until You Came Along

What happens when you fall in love with the one person who has millions already in love with them?

Penny Wilson was never one for the spotlight. So when an internationally famous singer tweeted her she did the only thing she could think of.

Respond. Though she had gotten his name wrong.

Jake Bishop has been under the spotlight his whole life but once he walked into a hospital room one night, he stumbled on his words.

She made him nervous, yet she didn’t even know his name.

“Hey, I’m Jake,” he said in that deep voice which probably makes all his fans swoon, his brown eyes were lit up in amusement.

“No shit, I thought you were Zac Efron finally getting all the love letters I sent to him.”


#209

7/10

Good description, short but meaningful sentences and good word economy.

But the characters leave me confused. I don’t have a clear enough sense of who Penny is to understand why she would reply to him in such a crass fashion. Maybe a line or two other than saying she’s nervous would help.

I’m also having a hard time believing that well known celebrity would reply to one particular fan out of the “millions” who must be on his twitter feed. In my entire life I can count on my hand the number of celebrities who replied to tweets or e-mails and usually it was because they were well out of the spotlight for long enough that the majority of their fans were born in or before the 80’s. I feel like another line of explanation as to why he’s drawn to her would be useful.


#210

5/10 - Sorry for being so harsh, but I just found the summary confusing more than anything! There’s a lot there that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Do Penny and Jake meet through Twitter, or in a hospital? Why does Penny respond to his tweet if she doesn’t like celebrity? Does Penny not know his name at all, or does she think he’s someone else? What does Zac Efron have to do with any of this?

That said, I really like the title, it sounds lovely to say aloud! And if you clean up the summary a bit, add clarifications and make it easier to understand - and maybe take out the dialogue at the end, because I’m not a huge fan of dialogue in a summary - I think this would be a really attractive blurb!


#211

LOVE MONSTER

Kate Mackay is a true romantic. Outside of work and university, her time is spent reading about the great affairs of history - Caesar and Cleopatra, Fitzgerald and Zelda, Bonny and Read - and searching for her own soulmate. To Kate, Catriona Grant, her best friend, is almost perfect.

But Catriona is a different girl from Kate. Sunny, reckless and irreverent, her successions of parties and secretive liaisons just don’t mesh with Kate’s idyllic vision for their future. They should be together, away from the grime of young life in Glasgow, in a Parisian flat with only poetry books and fresh coffee. With Catriona still choosing to spend all of her time and money on strange boys and weed, how can Kate manifest their destiny?

As Kate falls harder for Catriona, she sinks further into the darkest depths of romance. Manipulation, dishonesty and GPS trackers are all fair game to save Catriona from herself.

Where do you draw the line between saviour and monster?


#212

6/10 I really liked the first paragraph. It hooked me in and was interested in reading the rest. I was a little confused by the 2nd paragraph and wasn’t entirely sure what the story was about anymore. Is about a friend jealous of another friend. Is about two people who should be together? I don’t know. I liked the 3rd paragraph though.

The Element of Life

I was hoping buying a new jeep for my seventeenth birthday would be the start to a great year. Things were looking up until I caught my ex-boyfriend Elliot cheating on me at Prom. It didn’t help that I was already facing an eating disorder and trying to overcome the fact that my father left us when I was younger. Thankfully I had my best friend Regina with me at my side.

Life changed that fateful day when I noticed a strange light in the park. My poor judgement told me to visit the park and I did. Little did I know that touching that light would give me a power. An element if you will. I had the power to bring things back to life. This new power completely changed my life. I wasn’t sure if I could trust anyone with my new power.

At best my secret was probably safe with Regina. But Elliot was a different story. In fact, he was already out to make my life miserable. There would be no telling what Elliot would do if he ever knew the truth. The fate of the world was in my hands.


#213

title:taken
summary:what if your not normal what if a certain boy band gets dragged into your world will you find love friends or will great enemies return read to find out


#214

@weird_human76 A. You didn’t rate @JustinW11’s blurb and B. Is your story an X-reader? They’re the only stories where it makes sense to have the second person versus third or first. That being said it is short and bland with no hooks to spice it up. It wouldn’t catch my eye. 1/10(I can’t really give you 0/10 but it’s not really a summary. Sorry)

@JustinW11 Your blurb is intriguing and I would read on to find out what actually happens. It has enough detail to hook but not enough to spoil the surprise.

Dystopia
It was the year 4045 and Japan had been obliterated via nuclear bomb…Australia had sunk and the world had ended. It had been so bad, so terrible that , though the world was still habitable…though it was still possible to live in there was only enough people to live in America…no more than 325.7 million people were left after Russia’s attack.

The world was dying and in the mind of President Richard Amara babies needed to be made. First gay marriage was Abolished. Then schools were opened that paired a male and female student together. By the end of six grueling years, the couple would be the perfect married couple and they would have babies.

Lena Amara hated this plan. The world had no problem with population before and she was sure that her father’s plan wasn’t needed.

When she is paired off to the former prince of Japan, the last of his race, she realizes the plan is not leaving but with how sick and how upset this boy is over the bombing of his country she realizes it might be impossible to reach their graduation requirements but one thing is for certain. America is no longer free and it will not be until the world is populated once more.


#215

I wouldn’t recommend opening with the passive voice. Saying it was the year 4045 leaves me confused about what year the story takes place in. Also, why is it necessary that this takes place so far in the future? And is it necessary to give me specific details on each country in the summary? Could you just simply if by saying, “The world suffered a terrible disaster, decimating whole cities and leaving humanity in the Dark Ages”, or something similar?

The world was dying

Once again with the passive voice.

To make a long story short, there’s too much information and not enough all at once. Sentences are long and choppy and if the summary is this complicated, you likely would not get much more than one view and a curious read of the first chapter.

2/10.


#216

It seems like you only covered the first part do you have any thoughts on the last two where it explains what is currently happening?


#217

Title: September Nine

Summary:

September Nine has only one thing in common with the eleven other children in the room: He will fight them to the death for the right to be a full citizen of Leonidas and to contribute his genetic material to the next generation.

But something is different. An impulse he can’t explain causes him to save the lives of his competitors, one of whom would gladly kill him once his back is turned.

They were so sure they beat it out of him; this disease called compassion. And if he’s the last, the Leonidans may be forced to break with tradition if they want to prevent an epidemic.


#218

Everything I said applies to the entire summary. If I were you, I would take a long hard look at the summary, see what you can do to improve upon it and resist the urge to get defensive.


#219

you covered the first two paragraphs there is nothing on the third and fourth

anyway since I have another blurb that needs rated I’m going to rate your blurb

The hook. where is it? Nothing in this summary makes me ask enough questions to read the book. Not enough info is the key because anyone with a question will read on to get it answer

not to mention there’s no info on the setting and I have no clue what your book is about other than a person with an abnormal name who is different from eleven other children and will fight to the death. what is Leonidas?

I have too many questions and no hook

therefore due to the lack of hook and info, I have no intrigue to read your story and give it a 2/10. I suggest adding actual info to your description and making it polished so people will not assume your story is written as sloppily as the description without polish and missing clauses. Your summary also has a run on sentence and lacks punctuation in multiple places.

Sensory
When autistic student Aokigahara Yamamoto is found in the lobby of his school under a balcony in a pool of his own blood half alive a suicide attempt seemed to be the only logical explanation. Even then odd things started happening to the students and Amma and Krystain both knew that it was not a suicide. Launching themselves into an investigation it doesn’t take them long to find something evil is at hand in the halls of Hawk Falls Charter Highschool and it was far from human.

When Aoki mumbles that ‘the black god’ had harmed him Amma and Krystain broaden their research. Will they be able to save their friend from the grasp of the demon who holds him hostage or will those in the school all perish at its hands?


#220

Your sentences lack comma making them run on’s. But that doesn’t mean your story is bad. I find the first paragraph suspenseful drawing my interest. As for the second, I wish you hadn’t confirm that it was the cause of a demon. I geussing the main characters may know what’s going on. As a reader I would have liked to have find out what and why the characters know. Overall, it’s actually a good story line.

Here’s mine, a work in progress, no title yet.

Angela and her adopted father share a secret that no Werewolf is aware. She carries the last bloodline of the Direwolf, a specie massacred under the order of the new King of the Were Clans. Years after successfully avoiding an annual tradition of the Gathering - a manditory event where each clan must choose one candidate to participate in the games of deadly trials and trivia that involve a death combat, trophie hunting and raiding enemy territories - the King issued a command of Angela’s presence. Otherwise, her only option is her head displayed as a renegade.

When the suspicion of her identity raises a question, her father will do anything to protect it, at the cost of his life. What will become of Angela in the games of life and death?


#221

8/10 I love the concept of your story! However, there are a few small errors in the summary that put me off.

Angela and her adopted father share a secret that no Werewolf is aware.

I think the word ‘of’ should be after ‘aware’ (correct me if I’m wrong, that’s just what I was taught). If I was you, I would probably change this line to truly hook the reader. It’s already interesting, but you could simplify it so that it packs more of a punch.

She carries the last bloodline of the Direwolf, a specie massacred under the order of the new King of the Were Clans.

It sounds weird but ‘species’ is the singular of ‘species’, not ‘specie’.

Years after successfully avoiding an annual tradition of the Gathering - a manditory event where each clan must choose one candidate to participate in the games of deadly trials and trivia that involve a death combat, trophie hunting and raiding enemy territories - the King issued a command of Angela’s presence. Otherwise, her only option is her head displayed as a renegade.

I would rewrite the beginning of this as it’s quite chunky.

Overall, it’s a really intriguing summary! I would definitely give it a read. :slight_smile:


#222

Title: Citizen.

In a society where everything is controlled, there is no room for deviance. Each morning, the citizens of Arabel put on bracelets that send commands to their brains and give them electric shocks if they fail to obey. Smile, Citizen. Be silent, Citizen. Do not harm yourself, Citizen.

Kyra Jackson was a perfect citizen. Loyal, hardworking and smart; how everyone was supposed to be. When Kyra’s future is decided, she changes from the controlled to the controller. However, this power puts her in a dangerous position, leading her to make decisions that are not only about right and wrong, but life or death.