The grammar is off throughout your blurb. It also borders on too vague and not vague enough. There’s just one sentence that’s making it hover there for me: “Ravendale has different kinds of rules.”
If you remove that line it will catch interest without making the person feel the summary should contain more. If you leave it in, you may want to add an few examples of these rules.
I proofed and did a basic edit on the grammar. I hope you don’t find it rude, rudeness isn’t my intent. I also cut the line about rules, that way you can see how it reads differently.
After living for five years in the futuristic world of Etria, Annbelle has to return back to a home that was filled with magic in Ravendale. Her mother died from sickness; now she will have to become head of the household.
Little does she know that her parents managed to arrange a marriage before their death.
Follow Annabelle’s journey as she uncover secrets of Ravendale and her true origin.
Almost forgot the rating…oops.
Once the grammar is taken care of, it has huge potential with just the one line adjusted for. Great job!
Title: Dive Bar Oracle
Genre: Undetermined [considering: Spiritual, General Fiction, Sci Fi]
Some might call the glimpses of things to come a gift, others would call it a curse.
All Mack knows is its a burden, one he carries for a sin he has no clear memory of.
Fashes of indistinct images that filter through his drink. Puzzle pieces that reveal themselves sip by sip. With what he knows he can intervene in tragedies…if he’s sober enough.
This burden is his penance. What will be the final atonement for Mack, The Dive Bar Oracle?