Is your story interesting? [Based on title + summary]

writing

#41

@JustinW11
8/10. Sounds interesting, I would give it a go. I thought for a second the point of view was going to be in Savannah.
Title: We are Pretenders

Wren is an introverted senior who’s never been in trouble. Always invisible, her only friends are the Jan’s twins: Laura and Lucas.
Expecting her last year of highschool to be tranquil, something she doesn’t expect, happens.
After this incident, she has no other choice but to start fake-dating Noah Keeley, one of the most popular guys in school.
Her life turns upside down from that moment.


#42

4/10 It doesn’t sound interesting. The wording is bland. I have no idea what it’s about. Who are these twins, and why are they so important they get their names in the summary?

Well, I guess if she’s expecting tranquil, anything not tranquil would be unexpected. Is the unexpected thing that she has to pretend to date this guy? And why would she have no choice in the matter? Is he blackmailing her? I highly doubt her life wouldn’t be effected by it.

Title: Descent into Madness

Who would expect vicious creatures to lurk around a laboratory in search of their next prey? Not the pair of teenagers that got stuck there, obviously. How did a couple of inventors go from on top of the world to the pits of hell in one short day? The laboratory’s disturbing history plays games with their minds. Is it possible to survive and keep your sanity? When creatures go bump in the night sacrifices will have to be made.


#43

Thanks for the critic, it’s the first time I publish something, I’m a beginner. I will work harder to improve everything :slight_smile:


#44

AVARICE.

1st book of ‘Seduced by seven sins’ series.

Catherine Cavenon is as broke as it gets. Working long hours at a night club earns her just enough to last a week. Unable to pay rent or feed herself, she has turned to upmost desperate way to gain income - pickpocket.

Her life goes by a certain routine until she is almost ran over by Layton Grim. He is everything she is not. Rich, successful, cruel and heartless. What will happen when she makes the dreadful mistake of stealing his wallet? And more importantly, what will the dangerous sin do, when he’ll meet his match?


She found herself backing away until her back came in contact with a wall. Even then he didn’t stop, closing the distance between them until he was standing directly in front of her. His palms slammed against the wall beside her head, his arms locked into place. He had successfully trapped her, preventing her from leaving.

They were inches apart, staring into each other’s eyes. Catherine felt her heartbeat speeding up as she stared up at him, having no other choice.

“You’ll work for me, otherwise I’ll send you to jail for larceny. It’s your choice. Take my offer or…don’t…”

She felt her breath hitch. “You don’t play fair…”

“I never do.” He smirked haughty. “Welcome to your new workplace, Spitfire.”


#45

You missed an important part. Please rate the last story’s title and summary blurb.

:slight_smile:


#46

Title is a 8/10, blurb is a 8.7/10. You have a great story build up. Keep up the good work!

Dead Man’s Tale

Cursed to share his body with the devil, Kalleon is on a race against time. His existence will cease once the devil completely takes possession. To lift the curse, he must find the person who cast it in the first place; his mother.

Tracking his mother is no easy task. After all, she is the Supreme Sorceress. Where would he find such a person in a desolated world filled with monsters and mystic races?


#47

An interesting title, and a very intriguing blurb.

I’m not sure the two match up…it depends upon whether the story has a lot of time at sea, I suppose…Dead Man’s Tale puts me in a seafaring state of mind, if not outright piratey.

Individually, I’d give them each an 8/10

Combined, it goes down to a 6/10 because the title just doesn’t match the blurb…

I’m probably being too nitpicky, though.


Title: Mad Camp

Blurb
In a not too distant future the government, pharmaceuticals, and insurance companies have pushed the mentally ill to the fringe of society; where they have formed tent cities and ghettos known as Mad Camps. Now the residents of one of these Mad Camps, tired of their lot, have decided to begin a rebellion!


#48

8/10. This is an interesting concept that’s been touched on a little in other media. It sounds a lot like the movie, The Bad Batch.

The blurb is simple and does a nice job of giving the general idea of the plot. Good job overall.


“THIS IS NOT FOR YOU.”

"I’d target the weak, broken ones that couldn’t defend themselves. Easy kills. I didn’t get put on the ropes. "

Marcus. Blunt and neurotic, but charming and hilarious. Undeniably damaged. He lives an isolated, monk-like lifestyle apart from his weekends, which he uses to numb himself, wander the city, and chase women. His predatory lifestyle comes back to him as time runs on.

THIS IS NOT FOR YOU is an honest, blunt look at how past pain can have everlasting effects.


#49

9/10

At first it seems like a cliche, generic story but reading on after the first few sentenced got me really interested and hooked in. And the title is intriguing as well, awesome job!


The Darkest Sun

Seven hundred years ago, Azuro was betrayed by his companions and exiled to live the rest of his immortal days with his power cursed away.

One night, a band of young misfit warriors appear on his land in hopes of taking shelter. Though at first he contemplates slaughtering them, Azuro instead decides to gain their confidence. Acting as their protector on their mercenary-mission, he puppeteers them into aiding with the lifting of his curse.

But Azuro is not as careful as he thinks, and his true motives are exposed. Will he still be able to be rid of his curse? Or will the young warriors find a way to further strip him of power?


#50

9/10 It sounds interesting. Sounds like they’re going to set off on a big adventure in order to get his powers back. Hopefully it includes a lot of action.


Title: IT STARTED WITH A ZIPLOC BAG OF NOODLES

I rushed ahead to find a room upstairs. Just as I turned the corner, guess who I ran into? None other than Satan himself!

Fine, I ran into Hiroki.

“You again?!” He whined once he realized it was me. Then he groaned and ran his hand through his hair.

“Please tell me you’re not staying here?!” We both asked at the same time.

He looked down and noticed my suitcases. “Shit!”

I rolled my eyes and started to bend into a squat.


Sage McLauren has lead a positive and sociable life so far into her 23 years. Her only mission is to find a man she loves… and lose her virginity. You’d think that with her personality she could at least score herself a one night stand on the 15 blind dates she’s been on. But her score is resting at zero.

Hiroki Matsuda can’t stand the sight of Sage. He absolutely hates her stinking guts! But what he doesn’t know is that Sage thinks the complete opposite of him.

Coincidence plays an unfair game and Hiroki and Sage are stuck at a family beach house for a week. When Sage keeps receiving weird messages, she suspects that it’s Hiroki messing with her. She doesn’t know why he hates her so much. She only knows that it started with a Ziploc bag of cooked noodles?



#51

The title is quite long, but it sounds original.

You have mistakes in the direct speech. If you have an identification of speaker than that sentence has a lower letter. Also, it’s not recommended to use double !! or ? or their combination. If your numbers are simple, write them down instead of using digits, but I’m not sure if age is an exception. It’s also not recommended to start your sentences with “And” or “But”, in the latter case you can use However". The last sentence also doesn’t sound like a question so the ? seems misplaced.

Rating: 6.5/10


Title: The Crossing Destinies (Open Sonic the Hedgehog FF)

Blurb (a new one I haven’t uploaded yet, I wish to get some opinion first ;-))

One night changes all…

Priest Shadow loves his peaceful hometown, but as of late it’s disturbed by an increasing number of possessed people. It’s worrying him, so he investigates the cause. During is annual night patrol, he finds mischievous boy Sonic outside way past the bedtime. Like that isn’t enough, the priest senses the source of the great darkness.

Shadow has no choice but to send Sonic to his church on his own while he heads deeper into an abandoned part of the town. Finding a fresh corpse confirms him something big is in his town, and he isn’t going to stay idle. A few streets later he sees a demon named Eclipse feasting on another unfortunate soul.

The fight is inevitable, and nobody knows how it ends, especially if a certain boy makes a bigger mess of it.

However, dealing with a demon may be Shadow’s least worry, as a terrible secret locked in his body resurfaces, turning his life upside down.


#52

I’m not a big fan of fanfics but I do attempt to read them. Your blurb gives a really good idea of what to expect I give that a 8/10. Overall, great job!

The Iron Dragon

A tale echoed many generations of a dragon god who fell from the skies and enslaved the mortal realm. He was known as the Iron Dragon who skin and bones, down to his very cell were made impenetrable and indestructible. Until one day he disappeared without a trace, leaving nothing but a myth.

Eight hundred years later the Iron Dragon rises from the ashes to finish what he started, while he collects the last remnants of his missing heart. However, who’s going to believe him when he’s in human form?


#53

Thank you for your opinion :slight_smile: I’m glad you have found it a bit interesting :wink:


#54

Damn…that story is REALLY interesting and seems to come together! And it sounds pretty unique too. The blurb also doesn’t give too much away, which I like. Although it kind of reminds me of the anime Avatar: the last air-bender for some reason. 10/10

Crimson Assassins: Heart Thief

Within the magnificent Kingdom of Usama, a team of crimson cloaked Assassins scour the lands for monsters to slaughter, all in the name of justice. They need to avoid capture by the soldiers of the King, while hunting down monsters to slay for the protection of the innocent.

During one of their travels, they suddenly find themselves responsible for raising a young slave girl after saving her life. They seek to reunite her with her parents before the child is killed. However, their objective proves to be no easy task as they continue to embark on dangerous assignments, battle fierce opponents and pick up new recruits along the way; all the while evading a rival assassins’ guild that intends to spill the young girl’s blood.

-Anonymous7105


#55

I love the title. The whole evading the king’s soldiers thing seem pretty cool but the thing that really catches my attention is the mention of the slave girl. I like how a rival guild is after her and it seems promising. 9/10.

Three millennia ago they came and almost wiped humanity out of existence.

Now they’ve returned stronger than ever to finish what they started all those years ago.

Knights of Lore (book one)

The extermination of mankind.
*****
Kariah-Belle Nadirè. A second year at one of the four Universities for those with the potential to become Knights. During her second year the young woman is accepted into the Advance course where her and other students get to train first hand as knights. After an unfortunate turn of events, Kariah-Belle and her friends finally become Knights and are assigned to respective squads.

Kariah-Belle is placed under Holy knight: Star Titannia, a knight of great renown and prestige. Her two students, Aya and Kaden have already made names for themselves and are well on their way to becoming Divine Knights. As Kaden and Kariah-Belle get closer things once hidden in the dark come to light. With the return of a powerful alien race bent on wiping out all life on the planet, Kariah-Belle and her friends both old and new must defend the Four Great Nations while finding out who’s​ really pulling the strings. In a world full of monsters and deadly factions, can the group of young Knights survive? Or will Lore rip them apart?


#56

7/10 I love your MC’s name, it’s so unique and has a great sound to it. I also like how she’s a knight. Really cool.

I feel like your summary lacks tension, though. It’s also too long and you present more minor information about the book than you need. I recommend presenting the alien invasion earlier on, as that added instant intrigue to your blurb and cutting down the info about her becoming a knight.

I see this is book one of the series. This isn’t the summary for the full series, is it?

Perchance to Dream
He electrified her then disappeared without a trace.

An ambitious junior in college, Katherine Miller dreams of becoming an award-winning journalist. When she learns of a coveted internship opportunity at a New York magazine, she’s focused on earning it with integrity, NOT by cheating, scheming, and lying like her school rivals. Going the extra mile to prepare for the opportunity, she attends an Off-Broadway production of Hamlet and everything she knew to be, believe, and dream crumbles. The “paragon of all animals,” Katherine meets her dream guy. The lead actor intoxicates, inspires, and confounds her all at once. After an illuminating private encounter, he leaves her with cryptic obligations and nothing but his name: Nicholas Phillips. In a city that never sleeps, he could only go so far. Unlike the internship, though, Katherine will get him… by ANY means necessary.


#57

Hmm. I’ve been told that once before. Nah not for the whole series.


#58

The Unexpected Journey

The Dean’s went camping on a summer weekend. When the returned home the didn’t expect to find it trashed. But that’s not all they found a not from the initials W.V. This particular group wants something from Kali Dean but she doesn’t know what. These people know something about Kali that she doesn’t and wants her. So the Dean’s go on a quest to find the people that want their so called ‘daughter’ Kali. On the notes they find on their journey has clues of where to find them and their name.

Join the Kali’s journey to find out the rest


#59

You forgot to rate the post above yours :slight_smile:


#60

I would give it a go, but the summary is a bit confusing and has some spelling mistakes. The plot looks interesting, though.
Title: Seventeen
Sixteen were amazing.
Seventeen, not that much.
Eva is on the verge of eighteen, at the worst age she thought possible.
Why? Her boyfriend, Alex, cheated on her and she ended up with no friends.
Among her social problems, there are many decisions to take, changes to make and she’s not good at any of those.
Two months after Alex’s betrayal, he wants to have her back.
Noah steps in before Alex has the chance of hurting her again, claiming him as her boyfriend when he’s not.
Follow Eva on her journey through her seventeenth year of life which will be as strange as everybody else’s… Right?