Is your story interesting? [Based on title + summary]

writing

#82

5/10 personally, I don’t like the title name, I don’t really get it (expect the RAN part which I assume is for the name). Meanwhile. your summary is kind of confusing. Why does it matter if Ran is indecisive? What genre is this? I thought fantasy since you said swordsmanship but then used the term ‘high school’ so i’m not sure. Also, what man is he hoping to be and why? Answering that could make your reader more interested in Ran’s journey.
Good luck x

Title: Twelve Faces Of The Mood

Summary: Neverland is dying.
China has been brought to its knees.
The secret police have a tight reign on Wonderland.
A queen is raising an army against a frog.

We all thought we knew the tales.
But we didn’t truly.
We only knew of how they rose to greatness.
But not how they fell to ruins.


#83

9/10 Usually summaries written in this format annoy me, but I think it works really well here. It’s short, but gives enough about the plot to be intresting and the last two sentences in particular are very gripping. The title seems a little confusing with the summary, but overall it’s catchy and attention grabbing.

Title: The Book Of Immortality

Summary: After a horrific accident rips her parents away and leaves her sister comatose, 17 year old Keira Hayden’s world is destroyed. Placed in the custody of an aunt she never knew existed, Keira moves to the mysterious village Hollow Bridge, located deep within the forest and cut off from most of the outside world. The village has no existing records, and as the villagers start acting strange and peculiar markings begin appearing on her body, Keira begins to uncover the disturbing truth behind the origins of Hollow Bridge and its resident.


#84

8/10 your summary gave me an eerie feeling that something horrific is going to pop out of the shadows and chase me. Literally! It sounds good!

The Devil’s Inferno

Cursed to share his body with the devil, Kalleon is on a race against time. His existence will cease once the devil completely takes possession. To lift the curse, he must find the person who cast it in the first place; his own mother.

Tracking his mother is not an easy task. After all, she is the Supreme Sorceress. Where would he find such a person in a desolated world filled with monsters and mystic races?


#85

7/10 I like the first paragraph, it’s an interesting concept and I’m intrigued. Though I think it might be good to delve briefly on what kind of place it’s set in.

Atropos: Without a Trace

2,000 years ago Earth was infected with a parasite. And 2,000 years later, the Earth fought back.

In the year 2098, the city of Atropos stands as mankind’s last effort at lasting life on Earth. The young and rich have fled to colonize nearby planets and the majority of planet lays uninhabitable for human life. Based in Antarctica, Atropos is a place of neglect and hopelessness, where the forgotten members of humanity wait for their inevitable extinction from Earth.

When a dying millionaire hires detective inspector Ida Quinn and her partner, Doug Evans, to find her estranged son they are exposed to Atropos’ criminal underbelly in all its savagery and despair. In face of moral dilemmas, they must weigh up what they are willing to sacrifice in order to give a young man, taken down the wrong path, a second chance at life.


#86

Hey mine was never rated


#87

7/10 - sounds interesting and you’ve introduced the series really well. What i’d like to know more about in the summary is the parasite, and also to me ‘taken down the wrong path’ is kinda confusing as you’ve followed it by ‘a second chance at life’, which seems like the ‘right path’ and being confused puts me off a little? Overall very well done though c:


Dark Mark


Voldemort’s attempt to find out the contents of the Prophecy at the Ministry was successful. However, upon hearing it he decided to interpret it in a very different way to Dumbledore.

Caught up between two warring Wizarding World factions, Harry has to make a horrible choice between his friends and the magical community. But with Voldemort growing ever stronger and the Wizarding World ever weaker, the decision he makes will have a greater impact than even he will know.

“…and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…”


#88

Ok, first of all. I am a potter head and this is really well written. :zap:10/10

Petals and Paper Cuts

Ashley Coulthard, a seventeen year old girl from San Francisco, gets strange dreams. Dreams which never made any sense, rather scary and got scarier when they came true. Things got even worse, when she dreamt of her Facebook friend and former cousin Naya, committing suicide.


#89

Very intriguing with the weird, scary dreams segment, and the last line especially gives off the horror vibes. Would like some more details and specifics on the strange and scary dreams, though. 7/10

Mist of Doom

Mysterious mist hangs over Central Billion and is slowly spreading to the other regions in the state. It drives people mad, and those who enter the affected region never come out.

Mankind has built windmills across the state of Billion to blow away the mist, but recently, a dragon destroys them and then hides in the misty capital. When the authorities set a bounty on the dragon’s head, eighteen-year-old Mika Asagi sees it as a free entry to the prestigious Metaslica Faculty of Science and accepts the challenge. Despite knowing the infamous tale about the mist and Central Billion, Mika goes on a journey to slay the dragon with her one-eyed undead guardian.

Upon contacting the mist, Mika starts hearing voices.


#90

It’s interesting, I didn’t expect a dragon to appear, i thought it was modern science fiction haha. I’d give it an 8/10.
Seventeen
Eva is on the verge of turning eighteen; the worst age she ever thought possible. Her boyfriend, Alex, cheated on her which resulted in the loss of those she thought were her friends. Among her social problems, there are also many decisions and changes to make she’s not ready to face.
She’s not good at any of those things.
Eva’s journey through being seventeenth won’t be easy. New friendships, loves, and many situations. Each one weirder than the one before.
But that happens to every seventeenth-year-old girl… Right?


#91

@justanyonee 8/10 Reminds me of the movie edge of 17 mostly because its about a 17 year old just living her life but I’d totally read it.

On The Surface

Kai Jane Haywood was adopted when she was five, she loved growing up in a stable home with an older brother, a sister the same age and loving parents, not once did they make her feel out of place. It took one girls option of her to push her on the journey of finding her true self.


#92

Oh, I swear I’ve never seen that movie haha. Thank you very much :heart:


#93

9/10 on the title (love it) and 8/10 on the summary. The summary’s actually well done, but the last two sentences could be cut out because the sentence just before is a great cliffhanger (end with “Audrina didn’t think there was anything wrong with being raised b a white family, until Aaliyah Evans tells her otherwise”).

Trial 017

In a world where powers are the norm, Inerts like Charlie are next to worthless. After a visit to his brother finds him thrust into the middle of an international crisis, Charlie must learn to survive if there is any hope of finding his family and making it home.


#94

9/10 I really loved your summary. It is short but intriguing. It explains things without giving away too much. I would totally read your book. The summary is very hooking and makes people want to know more.

Maybe Someday

Meet Emily Hayes. Pretty, kind of popular - and totally smitten by Jake. Meet Jake Williams. Badass, captain of the football team- and he barely acknowledges Emily, who he has known for the last 13 years.
Emily has had a crush on Jake for the better part of her teen years, Jake on the other side, sees Emily as his little sister, but every things he does suggests otherwise. Her head says to steer clear, but her heart wants her to give it a go - this romance seems far away from happily ever after and closer to a heartbreak. But will Emily get the boy of her dreams to finally see her as something more?


#95

I like the story title. Personally it is something easy to remember but not too bland. The summary I’d say was not too bad. I think you could work out some transitions more. For the plot itself I think you could’ve added a little more twist, like a third character or something. Overall, I think it’s an 8/10.

Project SPECTRA

When a private government-funded experiment in 20136 America aims to research a mysterious element found in France, six individuals were chosen as test subjects to become hosts of this newfound element. Finding out the deeper secrets of the experiment, these six team up to try and escape the facility, utilizing the properties of the element.


#96

It seems definitely interesting. It’s short, sweet, and gets your point across. However, in the first sentence, there’s a problem with the tense. “Aims to reach” is present tense, but “were chosen” is past tense. If you change the ‘were’ to an ‘are’, then you’ll be good. That aside, 9/10.

The Forgotten Land

The Kingdom of Dahlara has been on an imperial conquest for years. Numerous surrounding lands have succumbed to the once tiny kingdom and its long line of power hungry rulers. The kingdom has achieved its goal, but at a terrible cost: supplies are running low and they’re about to lose the latest war.

Nite knows little of her country’s struggles. She and her adoptive father live in the far western region, cut off from much of the world. They captain a riverboat and take merchants to nearby port cities. It’s a simple, oftentimes difficult life, but it’s the life that Nite loves.

However, these two different worlds are about to collide head on. The change comes in the form of a group of strangers clad in military uniform and demanding that Nite take them downriver into an off-limits section of the country. She is forced to do so when her life is threatened and she only hopes that it will all be over soon.

If only things ever went right for her.


#97

9/10 I really, really like your summary and title. I think I’m going to read your book as soon as I’m done writing this message. There are several points that stood out:
-The first sentence. It’s short but makes clear what your story is about.
-‘But at a terrible cost’: it’s impressive how with that sentence, you feel sorry for the nation (while you haven’t even read the book)
-‘strangers clad in military uniform’ it’s so mysterious, it makes me curious about the characters
-The last sentence: you know everything is going to go wrong, without knowing why
Furthermore, I’m impressed by your vocabulary.

Millennium Enterprises (the story is written in Dutch, so I know my English writing skills aren’t flawless :wink: )

2154: Kira is recruited by a top-secret time-travelling agency that retrieves valuable items from the past. There are just three rules at Millennium Enterprises.
1.It is forbidden to travel to the future.
2.It is forbidden to change the course of history.
3.It is forbidden to fall in love.
Kyra broke them all…Can she escape the agents of time by fleeing to the past? Or will she lose her heart- and her head- in the process?


#98

8/10: your story sounds incredibly interesting! if i were you, i’d drop the listing of the rules and just have them on separate lines - and i think a few people might take issue with the rhetorical questions, although i don’t personally. other than that, i think it sounds absolutely awesome! and your english is really good! i’d definitely check out this story :slight_smile:

tuesday & max

Tuesday lives with her aunt after the death of her mother in a car accident, following remission from cancer. Angry at the world, she rebels against her guardian, her education and her nervous peers, and it isn’t until she meets Max, with his own burdens to bear, that she begins to learn how to navigate the tumultuous waters of college, friendship and love once more.


#99

5/10 I’m not really fond of the title personally but the summary is good. Tight, compact, gets the point across and everyone will know what they’re getting into going in. Sounds like it might be a sort of angsty romance novel from the looks of things.

The Essence of the Equinox

For a millennia the empire of Vysteria has prospered on the forces of the five elements using them to pioneer an industrial age of technological might and economic prosperity. The Solarites stewarded this at the centre, a facsimile of the gods, unchallenged, uncontested, unconquerable.

But then the Occassi came, the botched results of a cosmic experiment, and with them they unleashed infernal forces of chaos and dark magic. The two waged war and the light triumphed and those in power were banished to the ends of the empire with the rest remaining being subjugated under imperial rule.

To say this should’ve been the end would be an understatement but there is no true end to the games of those who embody the gods might play when all the world is their stage and its subjects their pawns.

The Occassi Prince of Mortos is coming, rising up with a more fearsome army than ever before. And he will not stop until the very last Solarite is snuffed beneath his boot.


#100

8/10 The title sounds awesome. I needed a few tries to completely understand the first part (but english is not my first language, sooo…). Otherwise it’s well written and exciting.

The Stream of Life I [Cleaved Worlds]
A sudden earthquake throws the Kingdom of Maera into turmoil; With it seems to come a new, unknown threat.

After being saved by a mysterious stranger, Princess Lorelei, finds herself struggling with the situation. Fortunately, said stranger might have some answers to her endless questions. That is if she could get him to open up to her.

Meanwhile, Ciel wakes up, miraculously being alive. He tries to find his way home but very soon, he realizes that just going home might not be a good idea after all. First, he has to figure out how to become himself again.


#101

6/10 Pretty good title, but the summary sounds like a lot of the same: Princess meets dude. Dude has mysterious backstory. Dude/princess need to find themselves. Dude and Princess fall in love and stop whatever threat.
Although now that I’m saying this I am curious to see if I’m right.

The Color Stone
Shan is a shepherd. Teyna is a princess sent to the fields after she dumped a bucket of water on her father while he was giving a speech.
One night Teyna wakes Shan to tell him that all the sheep just dropped dead.
Teyna goes to the city and finds the people are slowly falling ill and dying. The only cure is a purple and gold flower…sadly the city lost it’s color hundreds of years ago. In order to find the flower, save the people, and restore the color Shan and Teyna must journey to recover the Color Stone. (and they may or may not have some friends coming along as well)