Is your story interesting? [Based on title + summary]

writing

#162
I'd say 5//10. I feel like I read a whole story in just a few paragraphs. I think that you could easily sum in up in a lot less words, but nevertheless it does sound interesting. I don't see how gang members and unknown beasts go together in a story, but good luck.
_______________________________________________________________________________________ **Undying**
The two girls had only known each other for a few short months, but they already had strong feelings for one another. Anna took November, a shy girl from a small town on amazing adventures. They trekked all through Idaho, which meant all sorts of things, from climbing mountains to having late nights on top of Anna's roof. While Anna seemed to know everything, November was just getting to know herself, and her newfound companion seemed just the person to help her with that.

Nova couldn’t lie to herself; Anna had something special about her. Something deep, underlying and mysterious. On a daily, she worked to find out what was really lying underneath the surface, and when she found out, disaster occurred. Her whole life shattered before her when she realized who, or rather what Anna truly was.

Nova finally got the courage to kiss Anna, but a peck on the cheek turned into something much more: a deadly bite. When their necks collided, Anna could feel Nova’s blood flowing throughout her veins, her blood rushing through her cheeks, and her heart pounding wildly.

How could one kiss be so deadly?


#163

I’d give it like a 7/10.
The story title and idea seems amazing in all honesty.
But, for me personally, you gave away too much of the story in the summary. You could maybe end your summary at the “what Anna truly was” part.
But that’s just me…other than that…it seems pretty interesting.
Oh…also brownie points for the lgbt representation.


KATHERINE : HIS LOVE, HER REVENGE

Before her, my life was okay.
It wasn’t great, but I was okay.

And then she came, like a raging storm, knocking everything out of place.
Destroying the walls I had built to keep myself safe.

She was the beautiful consuming storm that destroyed everything around us.

The kind of storm people warn you to stay away from, because getting too close, might kill you.
They lie, though.

This is worse.
So much worse than death. It has to be.

She didn’t break my heart, she tore me apart.

She used to be the reason I wanted to wake up, now I don’t ever want to wake up.

She used to be what made me smile, now all I ever do is cry.

She made me want to live, now I just want to die.

She was the love of my life,
I was her revenge.

She was Katherine.
And this is our story.

The story of a young man captivated by the beauty of Katherine who is used to this…then why was this time different?

What made her want to seek revenge? And how is he related to all of this?
A story filled with characters you’ll hate to love and love to hate.
A story where each chapter comes with a surprise only to confuse you more. Clues to unveil secrets can be found it if you know how to join the dots.

Questions are important, even the unanswered ones.


#164

i’m gonna be honest, this story is definitely not my cup of tea but i’ll still review it as i believe. the summary sounds pretentious and the name sounds like a basic chicklit bs story. i think the name could just be shortened to katherine, perhaps make “his love, her revenge” the sorta tagline on the cover. katherine is just more powerful on its own i reckon. its definitely interesting how you chose to rhyme in your summary. i definitely think its far too long, especially with the ending part. i really like the ‘questions are important, even the unanswered ones’ thingy but i think the ‘what made her want to seek revenge’ and all below it is a bit weird. like your forcing these questions on me whereas i should develop them by reading the summary and story, not by you telling me. and saying ‘a story filled with etc.’ is like a claim youve gotta live up to so putting it in there is a risk and a half. cause if your doesnt doesnt have characters ‘youll love to hate and hate to love’ and ‘where each chapter comes with a suprise only to confuse you more’ then youll look really stupid as an author and also immature and unprofessional.

(im realising now i did more than say if your story was interesting but i hope you still find my opinions useful!)

✩ ★ ✩

ive yet to officialy title my story as its in its early stages (not to mention the summary is something i literally am writing now) but the current filler title im using is ‘tala and ares’ and its a young adult/teen fic novel.

Tala Ilkay Fahri f*cking hates Ares Romano. With 15 years of sibling-like rivalry under their belt, the pair know nothing more than bickering, snide comments and childish insults. But when they’re cast as lovers in Cayman High School’s musical, they’re forced to shove aside their conflict and fake a love story like no other. Though, after hours of rehearsal and days upon days together, the love they front on stage might not be so fake.

sjsjsnfn i just wrote that its so trash but its basically that. two teenagers hate each other but are forced to play lovers in a musical. i feel its worth mentioning that every other chapter is a flashback to their younger years together and how their hatred has continued to 15 years old


#165

5/10 You have an interesting idea. If you’re going to cuss in your summary, don’t bleep it out. I do really like how you used the f bomb in your 1st sentence. It’s bold and risky. It could work. You also had a couple grammar issues. Also, you probably should find a way to mention that ever other chapter is a flashback.

The Element of Life

I was hoping buying a new jeep for my seventeenth birthday would be the start to a great year. Things were looking up until I caught my ex-boyfriend Elliot cheating on me at Prom. It didn’t help that I was already facing an eating disorder and trying to overcome the fact that my father left us when I was younger. Thankfully I had my best friend Regina with me at my side.

Life changed that fateful day when I noticed a strange light in the park. My poor judgement told me to visit the park and I did. Little did I know that touching that light would give me a power. An element if you will. I had the power to bring things back to life. This new power completely changed my life. I wasn’t sure if I could trust anyone with my new power.

At best my secret was probably safe with Regina. But Elliot was a different story. In fact, he was already out to make my life miserable. There would be no telling what Elliot would do if he ever knew the truth. The fate of the world was in my hands.


#166

thanks for the feedback (: i just censored it cause im not sure how wattpad ambassadors take to cuss words. and yeah i would’ve had some grammar issues i wrote it like just then skskdf thanks tho!!


#167

Thank you for the feedback, I genuinely appreciate it. And I guess you’re right…I kind of am forcing the questions. And maybe I might come off as stupid as an author if I don’t do it right.
This is my first time actually writing a book. So thanks for that. :blush:


#168

It’s really interesting and detailed, doesn’t seem like my kind of story so I’d most likely skip it but doesn’t mean it’s not good. 7’/10

Title : Ivory Black

Summary : Kai Haywood never realized how sheltered her life was until someone came along and showed her the real world.


#169

7/10

Your title sounds like a person’s name and I’ve never been a huge fan of those titles, but it’s still a stand-out. Simple and poetic.
Your summary is very short, which is not to say that’s bad. It draws me in, but I feel like you could still expand on it.

Title: Paranatura

Description: A murder in a remote town hides a supernatural secret, and sets in effect a coming to age story about learning who to trust when you lose everything.
Follow the parallel lives of twins, Shae and Misha, as they become exposed to truth of their existence, in a world inhabited by vampires. In this world, there are many secrets hidden in broad daylight, and some secrets are hidden deep within.


#170

9.5/10
I LOVE the description. I’m lowkey interested, lol. I don’t know how to pronounce the name but it sounds very mysterious and dramatic which matches perfectly with the vibe I was getting from the summary.
The only thing I’d change is the sentence “sets in effect a coming of…”. Perhaps “set into effect the coming to age story about who to trust…” or “sets into motion the coming of age story about learning…” Just a suggestion. You can keep it if you don’t like what is said.


Title: An Inclination

Description:

“Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhuman.” ~ Marian Anderson

Haphephobia: A fear of touching or being touched.

Katherine Price has suffered from haphephobia since the tender age of 3. Although she is surrounded by love thanks to her foster parents, it doesn’t ease the fear and pain she experiences everyday. When Mitsue (MEE-tsoo-eh) Irie, a foreign exchange student comes and provokes a feeling Katherine has never felt before, she doesn’t know whether to accept it or run away. With the help of his persistence and conditioning, this feeling Katherine is experiencing will become an Inclination to her.


#171

Thank you for the suggestion! Reading it as is out loud, it sounds a little weird to me also.

“Paranatura” is just a word I came up with after combining “Paranormal” and “Supernatural”. I didn’t like the sound of “Para-natural” so I just removed he L. Lol


#172

9/10
I love how you put the quote and definition into your summary. It immediately makes the reader aware of the theme of the book. Your summary is short and to the point, without spoiling anything. It sounds very interesting, well-done!

Title: Wings Of Flame
Description: Clea finds herself imprisoned in a world where her people are seen as nothing more than slaves. Everyone seem to have accepted this life of misery and despair and keeps stumbling along their dark life paths, terrified of stepping out of place. Clea wants to make a change. She holds fast to the hope that someday, the light will overcome this dark world and everything will turn around. But is she strong enough to make that change? She didn’t think so, until something happened that had consequences bigger than she could ever imagine.


#173

7/10 I think what I’m missing out of this blurb is that I want it to imply that Clea, as a character striving for change, does something to bring about that ‘something happened’. If she does influence it, I think that would be great to imply. If she doesn’t… I’m wondering a little why that is. Characters are at their best when they do things to change the game.

Title: Cursed Gardens
Maggie and Val Castillo run a magic shop since their parents’ death but when a witch crashes through their greenhouse and tells them the truth, they must reconsider everything they know: their parents are actually trapped in the spirit plane and Maggie and Val might be the only witches capable of rescuing them, but were they trapped there for good reason?


#174

6/10 While there is a sense of intrigue, fantasy and adventure, it just seems a little too cliché for me. It also seems to give away too much of the plot, revealing what could perhaps have been a major plot twist. Perhaps try making it more ambiguous, to draw the reader in, rather than actually summarise the plot.

In Search of Jericho

Lost. Scared. Alone.
Special Agent Luke Huxley isn’t really that special. He’s single, on the wrong side of thirty, and works with his sister; coincidently, she’s sleeping on his couch. So, when amnesiac Jane Doe appears with a note addressed to him, it’s a hard wake-up call. Will Huxley get to the bottom of the mystery, or will Jane’s secrets evade him forever?
Nothing is certain anymore.


#175

8/10. It’s basically perfect, but I find it hard to understand the last part there. I’m not saying you have to put in what the note said, but maybe just hint at it. Jane Doe needs a little bit more description- not because Luke has a lot, but because she’s way too mysterious to lure readers in. Honestly? I’d read it. :grin: :+1:

Undercover Love

Agent Hale, Undercover agent, has been working with the force since she was 18, with the passion to live up to her father’s expectations. And the odds are in her favor when an opportunity comes knocking on her door: University.

Paired with a criminal, stony-faced Isabella Hale is forced to cope with Alex Harrison-who always has a smile on his face to hide the sadness behind it. The two- mainly Isabella- put their differences aside for the case, and after spending days and nights together, they realize they’re both broken.

And maybe, they can fix each other.

Okay so for the they realize they’re both broken and maybe they can fix each other part, I want to change it. Any suggestions on what to put?


#176

9/10 - Loved it, although the awkward sentence structure made me shave off a point. However, I really do think this sounds like an exciting story, especially the part about the broken people. And to answer your question, I think you can just drop the last sentence.

Trial 017

Charlie doesn’t have powers, but everyone else does. Growing up in the shadow of his brother’s genius, Charlie has always been perpetually alone, never fitting into a society built for the able-bodied.

When an innocent visit to his brother’s school thrusts him into the middle of an international crisis, Charlie finds himself in the center of an intense struggle for survival, stranded on an alien planet and hunted by a mysterious organization that seems bent on capturing him alive. Separated from his brother and on the run, Charlie must learn to survive if there is any hope of finding his family and making it home.


#177

which sentence sounds awkward? thank you so much for the feedback, btw :pray:


#178

Well, “Undercover” and “University” are capitalized, even though they’re not proper nouns. I’d also rearrange the phrase “undercover agent” to be in front of the subject (Agent Hale) and combine the first two sentences. Also, the repeat of the name in the second paragraph seems as if you could just call her by her first (or last, depending on your story) name and go back and give her full name in the previous paragraph, and change the hyphen after “Alex Harrison” to a comma. The part enclosed within hyphens (mainly Isabella) can also be deleted.

Hope this helps, and take all my suggestions with a grain of salt. I don’t really want to change your writing voice in this; I’m just a stickler for grammar conventions.


#179

Thank You. I appreciate the help alot :slightly_smiling_face: and I also respect your grammar- I’d never get in the way of that. :blush::blush:


#180

7/10 I’m not crazy about your title, but I like your summary. Charlie seems like an interesting character and I’d be curious to if he can make it home.

The Element of Life

I was hoping buying a new jeep for my seventeenth birthday would be the start to a great year. Things were looking up until I caught my ex-boyfriend Elliot cheating on me at Prom. It didn’t help that I was already facing an eating disorder and trying to overcome the fact that my father left us when I was younger. Thankfully I had my best friend Regina with me at my side.

Life changed that fateful day when I noticed a strange light in the park. My poor judgement told me to visit the park and I did. Little did I know that touching that light would give me a power. An element if you will. I had the power to bring things back to life. This new power completely changed my life. I wasn’t sure if I could trust anyone with my new power.

At best my secret was probably safe with Regina. But Elliot was a different story. In fact, he was already out to make my life miserable. There would be no telling what Elliot would do if he ever knew the truth. The fate of the world was in my hands.


#181

It’s really interesting and detailed, doesn’t seem like my kind of story so I’d most likely skip it but doesn’t mean it’s not good. 7’/10

Title : Ivory Black

Summary : Kai Haywood never realized how sheltered her life was until someone came along and showed her the real world.