Keywords in a summary that make you read or run?


#281

But today is not that day!


#282

Here is the rest, does it now make you run?

Violet is a 16-year-old girl on the run, from her past and startlingly ugly reality.

Forced to sell her body for profit, Violet has been under Kas’s protection and ruthless control since he saved her, thus owing him her life. But she has something Kas isn’t completely aware of, a secret that could be her undoing or her salvation.

Kas and Violet are too wayward teenagers doing whatever they have to in order to survive, so when the opportunity comes to reap the revenge and justice they have so long sought, will they put it all on the line?

Kas and Violet can’t do this alone, it’ll take a team of Karraway’s worst, the Slum’s best…

Will this unlikely group of criminals pull past their differences and pull this off?

Or will Kassidy Morgan go down in the history books as the biggest fool in Karraway history? What will happen when Kas and Violet find themselves being drawn into a dangerous dance of the heart? What will happen when the boy with the mysterious past, and the girl with a closely kept secret come together?

One has the brains, the other has the powers, but they both have a thirst for vengeance and prices on their heads as the most dangerous criminals. Will Karraway survive these two and their team? Or will they be brought to their knees?

Follow Kassidy as he brings chaos to Karraway, the Slums and maybe, maybe just sets things right in this corrupt port city…


#283

Exactly!


#284

Preach. Nothing is ever perfect and like artists we’re always trying to perfect our crafts.


#285


#286

I am always pushing off that perfection, which is why I call Survive or Die, Legend and Kassidy the imperfect masterpieces


#287

:joy:


#288

The romance is actually character growth for Kas believe it or not, and has to do with him overcoming his past and the haunting memory of what happened to the first and last person he loved, his mother


#289

It’s a little wordy! You could cut that down by a lot and still be able to tell the story concisely.

You have one paragraph to tell me your story. Go.


#290

She had held him in his arms (trying to protect him) when she was brutally murdered, it forever scarred him (and caused his inability to be around blood as it brings back that memory of him being surrounded and soaked in blood, like, any time he sees it)


#291

Kassidy Morgan and Violet are two wayward teenagers, fighting to survive in a city that at ever turn is trying to kill them. Kas has managed to bring the city to heel for himself, taking what he wants and not taking no for an answer when it comes to his precious Crows. In a city rife with unrest between deadly gangs, Violet has nobody to turn to after fleeing from a war in her home country…except for Kas, the one who saved her the first night there. Selling her own body for profit, with Kas doing his best to keep her safe from the worst of the people in the Slums of Karraway, she hides a dangerous secret from the world, as does Kas. Haunted by the murder of his mother, and Violet bearing the scars of war, both have a thirst for revenge. When the opputunity arises to steal a very valuable artifact, they can’t pass it up, it takes the Slums best, Karraway’s worst. Will these criminals be able to pull off the mission of a lifetime? Or will something else…something even more dangerous than Kas get in the way?

Yeah, still can’t make it less wordy, and since it’s one paragraph it’s kinda awkward.


#292

Can I try? When I get home I so don’t get hit by a car.


#293

Better, but now you have a gigantic paragraph.

now try two to three sentences.

this is what’s called an elevator pitch. Imagine the publisher you want to work with is about to get into an elevator; You hold the door open to pitch him your story, and he tells you, “make it quick.”


#294

Because this memory scarred him so much, and because Kas (he reveals in a conversation how he was the reason his mother was in the situation that got her killed) he thinks that if he were to love someone, he would eventually get them killed (which, this has happened a few times where him caring for someone nearly got them killed, which further proved to himself he couldn’t be involved or even remotely care for someone)

Him falling in love with Violet (and not forcing her away) is big for him, he doesn’t even realize it until he’s already in too deep, also, when he finally lets her in all the way, he tells her what happened to his mother, to him, a thing he has never told anyone and a thing he refused to relive for almost 9-12 years (he was 5 when his mother was murdered) so he may have been stuck with it at first but hid from the memory later on or done it immediately


#295

Go for it!


#296

I can’t! This is already 70k words in just 16 chapters, and this summary? It only covers up to the first 16! SO much more happens!

Kas’s father? Main villian. Oh, have I mentioned Kas knows his father, has never seen him, but is out for his head at the same time he is terrified of him? Or that Violet’s mother shows up? Or that Kas actually a fallen angel as both his parents were fallen angels, or Hraskgalla which are the natural enemies of Violet’s people, the Kraskelle? Yeah, a lot more is in here I left out.


#297

Some examples:

DJANGO UNCHAINED

With the help of a German bounty hunter, a freed slave sets out to rescue his wife from a brutal Mississippi plantation owner.

THE MATRIX

A computer hacker learns from mysterious rebels about the true nature of his reality and his role in the war against its controllers.


#298

Sum upof Game of Thrones for me, that might help me (if you have read GoT or anything)


#299

Nine noble families fight for control over the mythical lands of Westeros, while a forgotten race returns after being dormant for thousands of years.

Bam. Game of thrones.


#300

hundreds