or are you referring to the White Walkers?
I didn’t write this myself, take it up with this author:
I’ll give you mine.
After being turned into a living weapon, a young cadet struggles to determine her identity, while rivaling factions seek to use her as a tool in their power struggle.
A story about a young man and a refugee looking for revenge and riches, dodging other gangs, monsters out of nightmares and being haunted by the aftermath of the war from the refugee’s homeland with a hidden legacy coming to light.
I did it!
Perfect! Or close enough, anyway.
You see what you did there? You cut out all of the filigree, all of the fluff to deliver the story to me in one, solid punch.
I know it feels like we need all that extra info but it’s more than necessary when the reader hasn’t decided to commit yet.
I don’t even need to try because you were able to do it yourself.
Ah, nope. You went back and added more.
It’s pretty close.
Oof, I also realized, Kas and Violet are polar opposites, but slowly they do a switch around, Kas becomes softer while Violet turns into her own monster (she becomes like how Kas is in the beginning by the beginning of Natalie, and balances out somewhat, but she never is the same after coming back from the dead between Kassidy and Natalie) (Kas literally sacrifices his life)
Read: fairytale, dark, folklore, spirits, forest, lesbian, lgbt, historical, 1920s, 1940s, monsters, mythology, femalemc, magicalrealism
Run: possessive, billionaire, werewolf, badboy, alpha, mate
A young man and a refugee go on a quest for revenge and riches, while uncovering the secret truths of the past along the way.
Um…they are in one of the gangs, Kas has plans to actually take over his gang and murder at least two other gang leaders…
Now I have to ask: what is boob enslavement?
It is not allowing your boobs the freedom to live their own lives, forcing them to be attached to you.
They don’t uncover the truths, Violet’s mother busts up in the place and recognizes Kas for what he is instantly, she later explodes on Violet and tells her they must either run or kill him, Violet then puts her mother in her place and tells her if she tries to, she’d kill her, especially if she kills Kas (she doesn’t care if her mother leaves, she was fine for 2 years without her, actually 4 as she had been given away to the leaders of their people when she was 12)
I… don’t really know what any of this means, friend. I’m just trying to tell you how to not make people tune out when you start talking about your story.
I know, I get excited, not many people I can talk about it with
I think I’ve told @PellinorLover2314 about this too. In another thread she confused me with a barrage of details and I had such a hard time understanding the point until I read it for the fifth time.
No shade, you’re great @PellinorLover2314 but I think these exercises bmecha is have you try are good practice.
Bear in mind the exercise that i’m putting forth is more useful for movie pitches, but the concept is the same for books. You give what details are necessary to interest people who may be interested in this sort of thing. You’re trying to sell, not tell.