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#61

Title: The Giants’ Rivalry
Genre: fantasy (modern mythological/paranormal)
Blurb: Kenzie McCool thought she was ordinary. She was wrong.
When Ireland is in trouble it calls on the young heroes that can save it. And Kenzie is one of them. Led to the underground lair of the imp Seven Inches, a deadly threat is revealed to her that only she and two others can find the means to stop. In order to do so, she must travel to Ireland with her rival to bring an end to the giants’ rivalry.
This quest involves dangers, both from Irish monsters and perhaps from her own allies, if the intelligence that has been given to them is correct. Kenzie must keep her wits about her in the quest to discover the only one who can stand between Ireland…and the very ones who wish to destroy it.
Is Kenzie McCool up to the task?
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/135353840-the-giants’-rivalry
Focus Point: The first three or four chapters, if you don’t mind. I’d like to know if the story draws the reader in and holds their attention enough to invest them in the rest of the story. Thanks!


#62

Title: Aiden’s Nari
Genre: Romance
Blurb: Description: Ovanari, Known as Nari, Has returned to his hometown after 4 years at a Preparatory Academy. He returns to Welcoming arms and Apologies instead of fists and horrible insults.

Aiden was once a sweet little boy who changed his attitude to bad boyish when he became popular, and in the process, he destroyed his and Nari’s friendship.

What happens when the two reunite?
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/162584390-aiden’s-nari
Focus area: anything except grammar. There’s also only 3 chapters out so far. Just read and comment on it as if you sudden;y stumbled on it and wanted to read it


#63

Title: The Survivor
Genre: Mystery/thriller
Blurb:
High schooler Bailey Miller’s world was going great, she has amazing friends and her adoptive family is supportive of her, but that all suddenly changed when she was confronted by the man who killed her parents.

Focus area: I only have a few chapters out right now but I would like to know if it sounds interesting or not. Any and all feedback you might be able to give me would be extremely appreciated!

link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/166059831-the-survivor


#64

title: golden boys
genre: teen fiction
blurb: a prestigious boarding school. five heartless boys. six fallacious lives.
link: https://www.wattpad.com/512919688-golden-boys
focus area: character development and consistency in character traits, transitions between paragraphs and overall flow of chapters, and punctuation.

thank you!


#65

Title: The Apprentice & the Lost City
Genre: Fantasy / Adventure
Blurb: Emma Marsh has always been known to have her head in the clouds. Dreaming of things such as riding dragons and casting spells, everyone in the city of Sonder knew that the child’s dreams would never come true - dragons have been extinct for hundreds of years and, not to mention, she’s not even a witch! However, on one fateful day, it is revealed that Emma is the heir of the legendary wizard, Merlin.
Now, with powers way beyond her control and the whole world keeping their eye on her, Emma will have to prove that she is worthy enough to wield her new magic…But, how on earth will she do that if she can’t even pass her exams?
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/168826271-the-apprentice-the-lost-city
Focus Area: Anything I guess. I’m just looking for critiques on the over all plot of the story and wondering if it’s enough to keep readers interested.


#66

Title: Dear Bully
Genre: Short Story
Blurb: In this short story, I will be posting a series of letters written by me about a person who has bullied you most of your life.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/166575603-dear-bully
Focus Area: characters, flow, structure and plot


#67

Title: The Collided World

Genre: Sci-fi/Fantasy

Blurb: They called it the Great Collide, although it was not so much a collision of worlds, but a fusion of them. Earth, and The unknown planet came together from two separate dimensions of reality. The collective scientific minds of the old world would have called this an alternate reality, or perhaps a parallel universe, but to what became of mankind, these old world concepts were as useless as paper currency, and reality television. Now, the world was new again, undiscovered, and feral, and the remnants of both civilizations, Human, and those from the other place were left to fend for themselves against the wilderness of this new collided world.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/152958020-the-collided-world

Focus area: General hook. Is it paced well enough, is it concise?


#68

If you have the time, it would be rad if you could take a look at my story:

Title: Dreams of Scale and Bone
Genre: Fantasy/mystery (+ a romantic subplot)
Blurb:

“Drika should have been used to that stillness, that waxy pale skin, but Guus Saito wasn’t like the cadavers she dissected in class. Though his wrist was cold, he had a faint pulse.”

College student Drika Van Meer investigates a boy’s inexplicable illness. With help from her arranged date, she uncovers a conspiracy involving the Holy Imperial College, the Prince of Orange, and a mysterious force with a taste for blood.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/147016588-dreams-of-scale-and-bone
Focus Area:

This is exactly what I’d love to know :blue_heart: What would keep you reading & when would you lose interest?


#69

Title: Alex
Genre: Teen Fiction (w/ a little romance…eventually)
Blurb: Alex is a story about a girl who ends up finding a new friend after waiting for two whole years…but what happens when she starts crushing on him shortly afterwards?
Link: ww w.watt pad. com/661 482164-chapter-1-alex-says-hi (I added the space in some spots because Wattpad wouldn’t let me post a link)
Focus: Anything & everything
Thank you so much!


#70

Title: The Adventures of Prince Vajendra

Genre: Fantasy

Blurb:
Meet Prince Vajendra, aka the so-called spiritual Rishi of the continent of Vishaputra, a flat earth. He’s a man not interested in saving the world, but having his own adventures. A man that can talk with Gods, deal with flying airships, throw exploding bombs into the air. He must retrieve the powers that an evil Pharoah, named Nahakasha has taken from him. This story goes into a series of episodic sub-plots more than an overarching story. Its crazy, too wild and too wild

Which chapter: 1 for start, see how you like it!

**Link:**https://www.wattpad.com/story/169477580-the-adventures-of-prince-vajendra


#71

Title: GUVEN
Genre: romance\ action
Blurb:
Güven is the Turkish word for trust which mean believing that someone is good, honest and will not harm you. When agent Eylül worked on the case of Erik Fuchs she did expect the horrific events that followed.
Link:
https://my.w.tt/rI0uO1JtoS
Focus Area: i just want your honest opinion

thank you in advance :two_hearts:


#72

Title: Yung Yakuza Trilogy: Broken
Genre: Fantasy/Romance/Mystery/Crime
Blurb: Luna was told that she was the world’s number one singer. She was told she had a voice of an Angel blessed by God. She was told to speak 15 different languages and learn them fluently.

Be the good girl. The perfect girl. The girl of the male gaze.

She was told to go to a place she was never even told of before.

She wasn’t told that she would discover untold secrets or that her punishment would change her forever.

For better or for worse.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/155476096-yung-yakuza-trilogy-broken
Focus Area: not the first chapter plz but still read it. i want you to focus on characterisation, consistantcy and flow.


#73

Title: When Time Runs Out
Genre: Teen Fiction/Romance
Blurb:
One day the clock runs down and you’re left wondering where all that time was wasted. Sometimes you wonder if you did enough; if you lived enough; if you have the proof to show that you made your time worthwhile.
Emma Roland has spent every moment of her life living to the fullest. The clothes she wear, the food she eats, and the people she spends her time with are all indications of the way she lived. But there comes a moment when you’re forced to stop and take a breath. Not everything is always so good and so fun; not every moment of your life will have a happy ending. And when Emma is forced into the darkest moment of her life, she fears that nothing will be able to save her.
Except maybe him.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/169281188-when-time-runs-out
Focus Area: I mainly want to know if the flow is good, as well if the characters seem believable, but I would like to hear everything you have that will help me to improve :slight_smile:


#74

Thanks in advance :slight_smile:


#75

Title: Remember the Burning Dream?
Genre: Teen FIction/ Romance
Blurb:
Dream
drēm/
noun
plural noun: dreams
1.
a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep.

Dreams are supposed to be things you’ve experienced bits and pieces from what you’ve seen during the day,you’re thoughts,your hopes, your memories. These dreams they aren’t always mine. They scare me. I want it to stop but not really. Then when I think about it I want to help although I know I can’t.I wish I can control them do something but How can I? I can’t escape what’s in my head. I wish I could…I think
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/109487051-remember-the-burning-dream
Focus Area: the flow of the story if there should be more detail on somethings or if something should be removed


Thank you!


#76

Title: Contemporary Love
Genre: Contemporary/Realistic Fiction/Young Adult Romance
Blurb: Two lovers take on the path of love in an unconventional way.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/164875545-contemporary-love
Focus Area: It’s the beginning of the book, so no plot has been set. You’ll find cute and awkward romantic moments of two undergraduates who just entered into a relationship.


#77

Title: Him & I
Genre: Young Adult Romance
Blurb: A girl with strong integrity who won’t hesitate to deviate from the society’s expectations meets a guy who fits himself to the society’s expectations.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/164034413-him-i
Focus Area: School life, social anxiety, exam anxiety. No jocks and cheerleaders. Friendship and… love?


#78

Title: Memories
Genre: Fanfiction, Romance
Blurb: He loathed her at first and she the same.
Their love eventually grew and was beautiful.
But it did not end well.
Away from each other for more than a decade.
Their paths cross again and there is a lot of obstacles.
Is their love permanently gone?.
Link: https://my.w.tt/HYMF6FmxGS
Focus Area: Story flow, Character development.
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#79

Title: The World Soul
Genre: Fantasy
Blurb: Born as the lowest of faeries, an Earthbound, wingless and despised, fourteen year old Lyra comes to the World Soul, the great tree spirit of Life. There, she finds an unexpected purpose when the World Soul gives her an impossible quest: Journey to the fiery Mountain and stop the salamanders that live within from igniting its flame and engulfing the world in fire and death.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/155343030-the-world-soul
Focus Area: Do the characters feel authentic and do you empathize with them?


#80

Title: In love with the neighborhood cat
**Genre:**Romance,
Blurb: Officer Mike Kirkpatrick loves two things in this life: his girlfriend Jo, and his job as a law enforcement officer. Jo is the perfect woman for him just as being a cop is the perfect job for him. Now, he must choose one or the other. Which will Mike choose, and will he be happy with his choice?
**Link:**https://www.wattpad.com/story/168631362-in-love-with-the-neighborhood-cat
Focus Area: Just a really short romance book.