Let's build ourselves a Short Story community!

writing
discussion

#962

A good goal! Also, there’s something to be said for making something short rather than letting it go on.

Hello again, then!


#963

That’s really good to hear!


#964

I see the poll about voting/random prompts is awful tied :sweat_smile: Random has more votes, so we’ll go with that. As a bonus, it’ll let us compare the two methods and decide which works best.
I’ll use a random number generator to pick out a prompt at the weekend, so if you want to add any more to the thread, do it now!

@LaughandJoy @makingmywaves @music_ally @sarakbeeksma @cdcraftee @johnnedwill @StellaAddison @SylviaWolfe @ThomasWalborn @_beebbab @messyfirstdraft @Marigold91 @Medula-Oblongata @astrxphoria @KateAnnee @LadyofthePond @TEHauxwell @CrownedMadness


#965

For me its less my ability to follow a prompt, but writing in volume right now isn’t exactly super realistic: my neighbor keeps blasting his music, seemingly whenever I start writing. So I can’t really count on him not playing his music on a specific day.

I tried contacting the management, but they keep saying that they can’t control what’s going on in people’s homes.

Which is … kind of a bad argument, if its in their Jeep outside.

I get, as a landlord, you want to make as much money as possible, but that doesn’t give you the right to allow for a noise hazard that everyone at the complex can here.:confused:

And he seems to be timing his work schedule, specifically get off right when me and mom return to my place: and that’s when he decides to harass us by banging on his cieling (and thus my floor).

This kind of behaviour would not fly anywhere else.


#966

Hey, quick question. Is anyone here participating in the Science Fiction December Short Story prompt contest?


#967

I’m not aware of it but would be interested. What’s the prompt?


#968

It’s a title prompt this time around (they did the same thing last December)

This month it’s The Song of Sqia’lon Seven.

I’m nearly done with my story, I just need someone to look over the blurb and give me revisions and possibly a few people to look at the draft so I can revise after I publish it.


#969

When’s the deadline?


#970

Ummmm, Jan. 1st I think, but I’m pretty sure they base it off of reads along with story quality, so the sooner I get it published the better. I mainly just need someone to look at the blurb.


#971

I can’t do it right now, but if you want to send it to me I’m more than happy to have a look later


#972

That’s alright, I’d love to get your thoughts on it! Would it actually be alright for me to post it here so I could get multiple people’s thought on it? I’m not sure if that would be alright with you/the rules of the community, so if not that’s alright.


#973

Yeah, that’s fine by me. I think posting summaries in threads is ok as long as you’re asking for advice rather than advertising.


#974

Thank you :slight_smile: (I can’t really advertise since I haven’t published the book :sweat_smile:)

@everyone

If you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts on my summary for my Science Fiction short story The Song of Sqia’lon Seven. Please be as blunt and harsh as possible, because I really wanna make this description stand out.

Current Draft:

In the past four years, NASA sent rovers, probes, robots, everything except humans. Yet, technology only revealed so much about our mysterious neighbor planet Mars.

Now, a small research team consisting of Linguist/Researcher Eris Lovell, Geologist Finely Weaver, former Air-Force pilot and mission co-pilot Tycho Haley, and former Air-Force pilot, and mission Commander/pilot, Ely Holt, boasts the first four human beings to ever step foot on Marss surface.

Their task is to research the planet, and make as many observations needed to determine if the planets eligibility for future terraforming or colonization.

However, the Red Planet possesses it’s own plan for them.


#975

@josephmpepe


#976

Hiya! Full disclosure that I’m not a professional writer, but I do see a few problems with the summary.
The main issue is you’re using a lot of “to be” verbs in a passive voice(“has been”, “have been”, “will be”, “is to”, “are needed”, “can be”) The general rule of thumb in writing is to limit “to be” as much as possible, so I’d love to see more active verbs here! It’ll definitely make your story more attractive to readers. So for example, the first sentence could be something like “For the past four years, NASA has been trying to put people on Mars [although “to be” is used here, the main verb is “trying”, so it’s not too bad]. They have sent rovers, probes, [maybe list more things here just to make it sound more impressive?], something, something–everything except people.”
The second thing is more me nitpicking, but “sole goal” doesn’t roll off the tongue well, so maybe try something else like “only goal” or “sole objective” or something (play with synonyms!)


#977

Thank you so much for the feedback! I’ll definitely look into making things more active and using less of the “to be” in the summary. I’ve never really heard that rule used much in fiction honestly, mostly just essay writing, but I can see how it would affect the tone and possibly make it more attractive to readers.

Thank you for reading and leaving feedback!


#978

No problem! And it’s not really some sort of rule you 100% have to adhere to, but passive voice does make sentences weaker and slower (unless that’s your intention). Good luck writing!


#979

I agree, passive voice is tough, especially when writing in third person past tense :sweat_smile:

Thank you so much!


#980

Summary edited :slight_smile:


#981

Welcome. Care to introduce yourself?