Lets talk about xXx baby! 12+ questions about mature scenes in writing

So, I’m writing a mature novel and I’m slowly getting used to the sex scenes and my readers love it but my issue is I have supportive awesome readers and no one ever tells me NO!

1. So… how much is too much?

2. What is too graphic?

3. How long should a sex scene be in your opinion.

4. How spread out should they be?

5. How do you go about writing it?

6. How descriptive do you get?

7. Worst sex scene you’ve ever read?

8. Best sex scene you’ve ever read?

9. As someone with kinks does vanilla scenery bore you?

10. As someone without kinks does a kink scene bother you?

11. Is there a line? Where is it?

12. What do you think of daddy play in writing?

13. Anything else to add?

Almost all of these of can be answered with ‘It depends on your audience, and what you promised your readers.’ Did you promise lots of kinky sex? Give your readers lots of kinky sex. Did your book sound like the romance was subtle and not a focus? Probably best to pull it back.

There are popular long kinky sex scenes all the time books and popular occasional vanilla sex scenes books. There are people who will only read non-graphic sex scenes and people who want the gory details.

I will say, if you aren’t marketing specifically to people who are looking for sex scenes, (erotica, steamy romance, clearly noted steamy romance sub-plot or erotica elements) I would recommend only including sex scenes where they further character development.

One thing I can generalize, is to make sure your sex scenes have variety, even if they’re vanilla. This is probably less important in non-graphic sex where you’re focusing on character development, but if you’re focusing on the actual act itself, variety is a friend.

There is a bad sex in fiction award, and I implore you to look it up because it is histerical.

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I don’t mind sex scenes at all, but it was something I had to get used to (or I grew up ;p)

I remember reading a book with many sex scenes (‘Ugly Love’ by Colleen Hoover) and always thinking ‘when will this stop? Please let it stop’. But I liked the storyline so much, that I couldn’t stop reading the boon, despite not liking the sex scenes.

But then I read more books with sex. It started slowly with kissing on a bed, not detailed descriptions of having sex etc. and then grew to books with more details and longer sex scenes. And lately I really like sex scenes.

All I have read are vanilla sex scenes. I had to look up what kinky sex was, but that’s not something I like reading about. Oral sex and such is good, but BDSM is something that makes me turn away. At least, that’s what I think, because I have never read something like that. Maybe if the story is good enough, I won’t be able to turn away :wink:

So how much is too much? What is too graphic? It’s your choice. Write what you are comfortable with. The line is different for everyone, so you can’t make it ‘perfect’. That’s why you should chose where you want to stop.

How long should a sex scene be? In my opinion, as long as is needed to serve a purpose. Whether that purpose is fulfilling your character’s wants, or a realization of your main character, it’s doesn’t matter to me. Sometimes I don’t even mind if there no explicit purpose to it, and it’s just to show your characters love each other. My only requirement is ‘make it beautiful’.

How spread out should they be? Like I said, personally, I don’t mind sex scenes. So I don’t mind many of those scenes. But if you write longer scenes, I think not too many would be good. Expect if your book is all about sex and erotica, I don’t think you should include too much. Find a good balance between sex and everything else.

How do I go about writing it? At first I found it very awkward and personal, even though it’s not about me. But you just have to keep going. Build it up for yourself. Start pretty innocent, and you’ll get bolder without knowing it.

How descriptive do I get? Not too descriptive, but also don’t be afraid to use obvious words like breasts, vagina, penis… Trying to make that sound clean, makes it sound wrong.

Worst sex scene and best sex scene? Honestly, I don’t know. There aren’t really any that come to mind. What makes a sec scene great is the love you feel for your characters. So just a sex scene is always stupid if you don’t know the characters who are enjoying it.

Kink or vanilla? I don’t think I have read explicit kink scenes, so I can’t judge. But I also think it depends on what is kink and what is vanilla for you, and how detailed you describe it…

Where is the line? Where ever you draw it :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Daddy play? That’s a no for me. I can’t explain why, but I find it all kinds of wrong. Again – I have never read it, so I don’t really know. Maybe I would love the story so much that I would read through it all.

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  1. It’s never too much as long as you give readers what they expect. If it’s going to be an erotica, it’s supposed to have a lot of sex. But if the book is just rated M and not labeled erotica, graphic or too much sex can mess with the tone.

  2. Nothing is ever too graphic as long as it fits the tone.

  3. Again, depends on the tone. But personally I like them long and detailed.

  4. Read previous advice.

  5. Read erotica scenes from other books. How you go about writing a sex scene depends on the situation. Is it slow and romantic or fast and desperate? Is it a forbidden romance? Are they in love or in lust? How long has the tension been building? Does it take place in the bedroom or somewhere else?

  6. I like detail, but too much detail about genitalia kind of grosses me out and makes it look more porn-ish than erotic.

  7. Accidentally started reading a fanfic where I didn’t know one of the participants was a young child. Nuff said.

  8. One of the best sex scenes I’ve ever read is from a story here on Wattpad called The Victorian Boy. The best erotica I’ve ever read.

  9. I’m not particularly kinky but no.

  10. The abundance and bad writing of kinks annoys me to no end. I don’t like it that 70% of all sex scenes I’ve found involve someone getting tied up. It’s especially disorientating when the story is labeled romance not erotica, and a seemingly shy and insecure person turns into a submissive ‘fuck me daddy’ type while losing their virginity.

  11. I think the line is where pedophilia comes into play. I’m not saying it’s bad to write about, but it’s bad if the story looks to be promoting it, and so authors should know to be very careful.

  12. I’m against it for my own reasons, including that in my opinion it promotes unequal relationships and very bad age gaps. But as long as there are warnings I will adhere to ‘don’t like don’t read’.

  13. Naw

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There is no one answer to these questions for me, because I strongly feel that a scene, any scene must fit the tone, style and level of detail of all other scenes in your book.

If I am writing light and comic fantasy, then their love scene will be about listing every piece of armor they have to remove that ends with pantaloons and fast forward.

If I am writing a sensual exploration of a vibrant, visceral world, than the love scenes will become detailed and passionately observing the lovers’ movements.

For me, there is just no other way. My favorite love scenes are by George Martin, John and Ygritte in the cave, Jaime returning to Cersei

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  1. I’ll go with wattpad guidelines on this, if the entire book is only sex and no character development or plot, then you’ve got too much.

  2. Depends on the story and the plot.

  3. I personally prefer at least 800 words, but I try to do 1.2k for my readers since my sex scenes are anywhere from 10-25 chapters apart.

  4. Well, my story is plot-centric and also involves a secret romance so they can’t be hooking up often but I try to give my readers a scene every 10-25 chapters.

  5. Embarrassingly? I rarely can handle reading my own smut with a straight face. Whoo whee I get so blushy it’s ridiculous. Also posting smut is difficult for me, since I am like, oh shit people are actually going to READ this? :sweat_smile:

  6. Fairly descriptive, but that’s just my style.

  7. Any time where they re-use the same words too much, it seems forced, I don’t care for the relationship, and so on.

  8. I can’t recall any off the top of my head aside from my own, unfortunately.

  9. No, so long as the characters are vanilla.

  10. No, once again it depends on the characters.

  11. Pedophilia.

  12. I don’t personally mind it.

  13. Writing and sharing smut has been one of the most difficult things I’ve done just because I’m so embarrassed to share it even if my readers love it, lol.

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I feel you so much

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I’m currently in the process of editing my 225k word book and whenever I hit a smut chapter it’s like hitting a wall. I sometimes even make verbal sounds like “Ahhhh” and “hisses through teeth” I get so squirmy reading my own smut! Regardless of how good it is, I can’t handle the fact I wrote it and other people actually read it, you know? It takes me 10x longer to edit a smut chapter than a normal chapter :sweat_smile:

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Everytime I write smut a part of me dies inside, but it only applies for this one couple. For any other couple, it’s perfectly fine. I don’t even know why.

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In my case it’s a pretty intense relationship which in turn gives pretty intense feelings and I’ve had readers tell me they can’t read it in public because their face goes red, so that’s partially why I can’t handle it :hot_face: But for my other couple it isn’t nearly as bad, since they’re just starting off and in a cutesy sort of relationship. I wonder if it’s the same for you?

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It’s actually the opposite for me. Writing is hard, lol

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I think you’re more in love with your cutesy couple than the others, potentially? :stuck_out_tongue:

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well I’ve spent more time on them and they’re in a cutesy slow burn romance . . . for the other couple, it’s a very dark fantasy so writing smut just feels right with the overall theme

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I love slow burn! That’s why my book is so fookin’ long, because I can’t just make a romance story 30k words, no no no, it must go on forever. Or at least 400+ pages, ha!

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I’ve never tried to write romance or fantasy (or anything, for that matter) before so I really have no guide to go off of, lol. I just cross my fingers and force my book club friends to help me

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This book is my first book as well, so I’m on the same boat, except I wouldn’t share it with any of my rl friends because I don’t want them knowing what I’m writing :sweat_smile: I have no guide either, but that makes it fun and unique, right?

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Exactly! And I’ll never share it with my irl friends either, that just feels wrong.
Also is your WP username Whatitshouldvebeen? I’m trying to find you but can’t

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It is! I don’t know why I’m not showing up for you, try this link?
https://www.wattpad.com/user/Whatitshouldvebeen

I’ll check you out too :smiley:

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OMG GORDON RAMSAY, MY SPIRIT ANIMAL (CHECK OUT MY BIO)
lol, nice to meet you though!

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Bahaha what a coincidence!! I hope you find enjoyment in my story, then, because people have told me it’s the best GR fic out there :wink:

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