LGBTQ/High Fantasy/Slow Burn Romance | Beta Reader Needed

Hello, my name is Twoony and, as the title says, I’m looking for a beta reader for my story, He Who Will Be King, which is a LGBTQ+, high fantasy, slow burn romance novel. I prefer to work in Google Docs so if you’re ok with sharing your email, I can PM you so you can comment on the full manuscript. Right now, I’m accepting 5 readers as this is my first time so I want to set myself a limit.


There are no winners in war. Only a side that loses less than the other.

The kingdom of Mahka was declared the winner of the last war, but peace has never returned. Cruelty and bigotry are rampant. Ewan Kaull is preparing to take the Mahkan throne on his 18th birthday. To keep him alive until then, he is appointed a personal bodyguard: Shayde El’Yoise.

The tension between Ewan and Shayde is high from the start. Shayde plays the part of the bodyguard in a perpetual foul mood, even as he hides a dark secret. But their time together changes everything, and feelings between prince and bodyguard develop that were never meant to be. Shayde quickly finds his beliefs turned upside down and his loyalties split.

But there is no time for love. Pandemonium has made their move. Innocent civilians are attacked, battles are waged, and chaos overtakes the land. And so begins another war. Now Ewan has to save more than his own people. Meanwhile, Shayde has to make his hardest decision yet: who will he betray–his people, or his love?

He Who Will Be King is complete at 140k words. It is the first book of a two part series. This is my third draft and I definitely do not expect beta readers to pick up on grammar or spelling errors. There are mature scenes so if violence, slight sex, or some profanity are not up your alley then you may want to pass.

Some questions I hope can be answered are the following;

Since this is high fantasy, what do you think of the world building? Too much? Too little?
What are your thoughts on the characters? This story has a heavy focus on character development, are there parts that seem odd, out of character or too slowly/quickly paced?
What are your thoughts on the plot? Again, too quick or too slow? Were there instances where you lost interest and why?

I hope I gave enough information. Also, feel free to give a review about something other than what I asked. I simply want to get the honest thoughts from a beta reader.


I can permanently follow your account or give you a review on the first three chapters of your own story. If you do poetry, I won’t be of any help since I have no knowledge or interest, but I could also give shout outs either in my stories or on my profile as well. Let me know what you’d like!

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I’d be willing to be your Beta Reader! It just might take me a while to complete as I have other commitments and am currently finishing reading another novel (which I am a Beta Reader for). Your novel sounds interesting!

Thanks so much! I totally understand and just appreciate you’re willing to give it a try. I’ll PM you in a moment ^^

I’m interested.
Sounds good to me. :smiley:

Yo~ I’ve read some of your other stuff. I’ll have a fairly slow turnaround time (I have two books in my queue already), but this is basically what I write and read so I’m definitely your target audience. PM me either on Wattpad or on Tapas if you want me to do a beta check and we can discuss some kind of schedule.

Thanks so much! I’ll PM you shortly :slight_smile:

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Ah, yeah, I think I saw you reading Whisper Woods on Tapas, right? :smiley: Thanks! And there’s no rush so a slow turnaround is fine. I’ll PM you!

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I was because creepy woodland creatures is my absolute shit.

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