LOL35 Chat-thread for women writers aged 35+ (read 1st post before joining)


#1

Welcome to LOL35!

This is a chat thread for women writers aged 35 and older. If you are younger than 35, please be respectful and start your own thread.

This is a place where writers of any genre will feel comfortable and supported, and not judged. We welcome women of all genres, all languages, and all levels of writing skill.

We really hope you’ll learn something along the way. As well as chatting, we regularly have writing-related questions for members to answer so we can all grow as writers.

HOW TO JOIN

To ensure the thread remains intimate, and the speed manageable, the group is members-only. Please contact @shalonsims if you would like to become a member.

New members, please leave an introductory post with some background info – age, where you’re from, what kinds of things you like to write, your family and work situation, etc. Please also tell us the most important thing you’ve learned as a writer, and if you’re brave, please share a secret!


Anyone over 35 there? Third edition
#2

LOL35 GUIDELINES

  • No book, author or genre bashing. What isn’t your cup of tea is someone else’s favourite.

  • PLEASE TRY as much as possible to respond to multiple comments in one comment box—rather than creating lots of small responses in separate comments.

  • Please be supportive. Be sure to say hi to new people, answer questions posed by members, and engage with shy members. Some people aren’t familiar or comfortable with the fast-paced chat and the thread moves so quickly that someone who pops in to say ‘hi’ gets left in the dust. Let’s try to make those people feel welcome.

  • No posting pictures of naked men! Shirts on, please.

  • No advertising your books. We chat about what we’re working on, and we support each other in our writing, but this is not a place to market your works.


#3

*** QUESTION TO CELEBRATE THE SIXTH LOL35 CHAT-THREAD***

It’s a tradition to kick off the thread with a question, which helps us get to know each other.

What are some of the sacrifices you’ve made to become a writer? Has the sacrifice felt worth it?


#4

Yay! We’re here :slight_smile:


#5

Hi @shalonsims!!! I’ll be up in Vancouver on Friday the 10th (just staying the one night–will probably do Stanley Park during the day)–so I’ll either see you on Friday night or Saturday morning! So excited! :smiley:

One of my biggest, biggest, biggest fears about writing is that I’m missing out on the life I should’ve been living. I have no idea what that life would be, it’s just something I fear. Writing can be an extremely lonely activity. If I’m not working (with young kids) or sleeping–I’m probably by myself with a laptop and my cats. There have been many times when I’ll ask myself, “Is this even healthy? Shouldn’t you be out meeting people? Maybe even find a special someone to spend these quiet evening with (writing) so you don’t feel so all alone?” I don’t know. It’s like I can’t win, because if I’m out trying to meet people I’m thinking, “Time is precious! If you don’t get started on that writing project, you’ll never finish it before you die!” Has it been worth it? I don’t know. I guess that’s a question I won’t really know the answer to until right before I do die–which hopefully is in many years. :slight_smile:


#6

What are some of the sacrifices you’ve made to become a writer? Has the sacrifice felt worth it?

I hope the quoting works. Me and IT… Sometimes it feels I’m sacrificing my sanity. Writing takes up a large partof my life. Well, if it was only writing/editing. But there’s marketing, querying, designing, understanding self-pubbing, taking decisions, reading stats.
It’s disheartening sometimes. And there are so many things one “must do or else”. These days writing is not a hobby at all times. At least not if one wants to at least try and get out there. Get recognises. Yes, I’m too ambitious. I know. I still feel the sacrifice is worth it. I was a storyteller at a very early age, I wrote all my life. So yes, this is who I am
Scary


#7

Oh and I will only post in here from now on. Need to leave a message in the other thread still. So glad we still have this!!! :+1:


#8

Hello, any coffee going? Make mine a double.

Probably the biggest sacrifice is my house is not as clean as it used to be and my ironing doesn’t get done in time.


#9

I don’t begrudge the time spent on writing, but I do begrudge the time spent on everything to promote my writing (as you said, the marketing, querying, self-pubbing, etc.). It really is more like running a business rather than being able to focus on the one thing you love to do and are best at.

The nice thing about Wattpad is not having to worry about all that other stuff. But the downside is that then you don’t earn any money either. Sigh.

Like you I want to get recognized so I force myself to do the parts I don’t like. Everyone gets it here so I feel like it’s a safe place to complain:).

By the way, I meant to say this sooner in the other discussion area, but I did look at your new website and I think it’s wonderful. It looks both professional and warmly welcoming. Well done!


#10

Yeah!! We’re here!


#11

I’m here checking it out.


#12

I don’t feel I’ve sacrificed anything except the time I’ve spent. And I don’t really consider that a sacrifice. I suppose I could have been doing something else…lucrative…but I’m not that motivated by money. Or maybe I could have learned to paint in watercolors and actually had something to hang on my walls. Or…gee…what DO people do with their time if they aren’t writing?


#13

Oh yeah. Housework! I didn’t even think of that. Good one!


#14

Hi I’m Andrea and I’m 37 years old, married with three kids and I’m from Sweden. But I do write in English but also in my native language. I write slow burn romance on WP. The most important thing I’ve learned from being a writer is to never give up even if the writing is going slow, Write at least 15 minuts a day. It’s not really a secret but I’m dyslectic. And I would like to become a member in this thread.


#15

Oh hej! Have a G+T! Welcome to the LOL ladies!


#16

Thank you :slight_smile:


#17

Welcome to the 35+ thread, Andrea! If we repeat our stories several times in this thread–just nod your head and smile. Geriatric minds aren’t as fresh as they used to be. Hahahaha. :wink:


#18

What is this thing called house…work…??


#19

Here we all are! (She looks around, frantically) What did I miss? What did I miss?

Thanks @shalonsims for getting us started over here. :grinning:

There are definitely sacrifices being made, similar to you all: the house is in a frightful state; I don’t like all the time spent trying to build my audience instead of just interacting with readers; and trying to keep up with all the trends, tools, and changes in “the market” is exhausting. I’m willing to do it, but not happy about it.

In terms of outright sacrifice, I would say that my time with friends and keeping connected with friends, online, has suffered. I’m less social than I used to be, but I think that would have happened regardless; however, I find after spending hours writing and researching, I just don’t want to hop on social media to catch up with friends from different phases of my life and that’s not good. I also don’t want to change out of my comfy clothes and fix my hair to go out for drinks or coffee, lol.

I don’t feel like I missing out on life (although I totally understand your sentiment @MarilynAHepburn) because I’ve done a lot of living, but I do feel like I’m more disconnected from life than I should be. I actually daydream about becoming that reclusive writer with a little cottage on the beach somewhere and no outside temptation or obligation. Although, I’ve been around long enough to know be careful what you wish for, so perhaps it’s better if that didn’t happen.

Welcome @AndreaSVessman! I love slow burn romances so when I get some reading time, I’ll have to check out your books!


#20

The sacrifices that I’ve done to become a writer is to stop watching TV. I don’t hang out with friends that much but I didn’t do that before either since I’m a loner by heart always been. The house is kind of a mess but that’s more because we have three small children. And yes all the sacrifices I’ve done in my life to become a writer are worth it since I get to do what I love to do. Writing is like breathing for me.