LOL35 Writing group for women writers aged 35+


#2050

I don’t know. I think it’s one of those romantic notions that poisons a person from finding a good healthy relationship.

They don’t think that healthy love is good enough, it has to be ‘one step beyond’ - a childish idealization perhaps.

Most of us learn to love a person in spite of all their faults. But I’ve seen a lot of women discard ‘nice men’ looking for ‘the Perfect Man’.

None of it makes sense to me, now.


#2051

I think the most important thing is that your needs should match. Because then it takes less effort to please each other.


#2052

Just in case anyone is still interested in my travels, lol, here’s a photo of La Morra in Italy. A small hilltop village in Piedmont, where we all met for my friends birthday party:)FB_IMG_15554348798979962


#2053

And here’s a party shot :slight_smile:FB_IMG_15554337737520215


#2054

Italy is SO beautiful. So OLD and so peaceful looking. Thanks for the pictures!


#2055

They get these ideas about soulmates from romance novels! haha!!! :joy:

By the way, @KAJordan2, that is a horrible story, and I’ve seen and experienced the same delusional thinking around love that truly amounts to no more than selfishness.

I think we too often mistake lust as love, and that gut-reaction of attraction for ‘soul-mate’ when really it’s just unconsciously recognizing the person fits a pattern you’re familiar with (like ego-id-animus stuff if you want to put it that way), and it’s often really unhealthy, especially if you come from an unhealthy family of origin like me. Like you meet someone and they instantly feel familiar and attractive, but unbeknownst to you, you’re completely subconsciously attracted to them because they remind you of your father (or mother) who was abusive / emotionally unavailable / mentally ill / or otherwise dysfunctional. And then BAM! It’s “True Love,” when really it’s a trip to hell. haha! That’s been my experience, at least.

So my understanding of ‘true love’ has changed lately, and when I have that instant attraction to a guy, I RUN THE OTHER WAY! haha! And I’m hoping that I can just meet someone and be friends with them and get to know them slowly over time.


#2056

So who here is watching Game of Thrones this April? I just watched the first episode and enjoyed it. It was was like seeing a bunch of friends and feeling all warm and cozy. Unfortunately, it ended on that sour note that lets you know there are going to be plenty of blood and guts spilled and the cozy times are over!


#2057

Somehow your travels manage to draw our attention away from the more interesting topics being discussed :wink: What a lovely setting for a birthday party…and having your friends around you makes it even better!! Please do share more pics for when we get bored of discussing romance :smiley:

I agree, because I spent my younger, better-looking years falling for psychopaths and narcissists.

@all Hope your day has gotten off to a great start, writing-wise


#2058

The pics are lovely, Vera :slight_smile: Thanks for sharing =]


#2059

Hi Nab what are you writing?


#2060

I’m afraid that I haven’t published anything. Been busy with judging stories for the JeDi_ awards, book club assignments and the #2019badgehunt on the forums. Am judging the second round, atm. Have written a poem on Mangoes, have to edit it before I can upload.

What have you written? :slight_smile:


#2061

whoa…yes! This makes sense!


#2062

Yes. Absolutely. This is exactly what is called for in serialized romance novels on Wattpad.


#2063

I, too, want to write romance novels because I used to love them so, so, so much! And I love a happy ending. I love the cute meets and the happy endings. I just feel [[[yawn]]] bored about the usual plot from cute meet to happy ending. The other hard part for me is I feel old. I feel like it is harder and harder to get back to that 20 or 30-something mindset. I know too much. Now…there are lots of romance writers who are older than I am, so they must know something I don’t about staying in that mindset.

If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. My daughter is moving back in with me. She is 21. Perhaps that will help.


#2064

I think it’s about believing the fantasy and shutting up your voice of reason. Can be equated with getting high on drugs.
The falling-in-love high does shut down the brain at least partially, so that all this craziness can happen.


#2065

Mmm…Mangoes! When you upload it, I’ll read it out to my mom. She is crazy about the fruit.
I’ve finally gotten back in the writing groove with my third dork book and stopped nit-picking with the second one.


#2066

This morning I had a major showdown with my mom. Yesterday I had to do a lot of housework, then I took care of my parents’ taxes and bills because they refuse to learn these things. THEN my mom expected me to sit with her and hold her hand and talk and that is where I snapped.
My parents were never emotionally available, my mom judges me for everything so I cannot tell her anything. So I really don’t want to engage in her old lady ranting/ whining sessions.
I told her there are so many dumb old people with nothing to do in her social circle, why can’t she whine to them? (Yep in those exact words, but in our native language marathi).
So she started crying and trying to guilt-trip me and I reminded her of all the things I do, and I told her that I can’t do any hand-holding because sometimes I need to hold my own hand (which is in a wrist brace right now because my dad, who spends 3 hrs at the gym everyday, refused to help me move the old furniture to the loft. I didn’t have any problem with leaving the old furniture exactly where it was, but my mom started whining about how my dad is not taking care of it, so I took care of it just to shut her up.)
Both of them are now quieter than usual, which was the goal. I can finally WRITE.

PS: I go to the same gym my dad goes to, and everybody raves about his energy levels and enthusiasm. Mercifully I go in the evening and he goes in the morning, so I don’t want to bear the sight of him showing off correct posture and technique to young girls who can’t see what is going on.

Thanks for letting me rant I feel much better <3


#2067

Hi, everyone. I’m new to this group and relatively new to Wattpad. I am mainly focusing on fan fiction right now for the experience (to later apply to original novels–plus it’s fun). I do write romance in my novels, and my characters are mostly in their 20s (I’m 36–so just old enough to be in this group, but maybe young enough that I am managing to add romance into my stories?). I just thought I’d say hi–I wasn’t sure how else to join in the conversation.


#2068

Do romance protagonists have to be that young? For I refuse to write about twenty year olds. Absolutely nothing wrong with them! But as you say, the mindset is a distant shore I can never reach. Everything above 30 works a lot better for me.
@AnnWrites Oh good heavens. Let me share a good :hugs: and :tea:. Your parents sound like a handful. It’s hard to suddenly make a stand when you have been forcing yourself to be the dutiful daughter for a long time. At least that’s what it sounds to me. Good you let it out. They need to know there are limits otherwise you will get swallowed alive.


#2069

Not necessarily. Romance protagonists can be any age I think. It just all depends on what you want to write. I’m in my mid thirties, so I’m not so far away from my twenties to be able to write that age–for my fan fictions, that’s what makes sense. My characters in my original are a little older, maybe late twenties, early thirties (the fan fiction has characters in their early 20s), so it just depends.