Look over my Werewolf Blurb and give me pointers?


I’ve already done one of these threads and gotten a lot of help which I think I put to good use. Now I have more of an actual blurb, and would like any feedback that you all have to offer.

As a note, Everett is the MC.


When Katherine found Everett, he was a Rogue wolf who needed to be put down, and two packs were waiting in the wings to do so. Her strength as an Alpha saved him, giving him and his wolf the comfort and security they needed when all the rules of a normal human life were removed.

Together they began Sky Ranch, a place for all those turned humans who had no one to turn to. The last stop for those with no other choice. On the outside, it looks like a private university specialized in caring for the land. Inside Sky Ranch, they teach humans to find a balance between the beast and themselves.

Everett thought he had found his place in helping others. But his skin is itching again, and he doesn’t know what it will take to calm him this time.

A good blurb usually answers these main questions -

Who is your MC?
What does he want or what is his problem?
What might happen if he doesn’t get what he wants or solves his problem?

You seem to mostly answer the first two questions, but you don’t address the last one at all really. And the last one is the most important because it’s about the stakes and the stakes is what tends to lure readers and helps keep them reading.

The way you push Katharine to the front of the blurb makes her seem like the MC, so it definitely needs some rearranging.

For example —

Everett (last name) was a young, rogue wolf. Two packs were tracking him, eagerly waiting to sink their teeth into him, but Alpha Katherine (last name) found him first and took him under her protection/into her den.

Together, Everett and Katharine open Sky Ranch, a private university specializing in agricultural and environmental studies on the surface, but also a secret safe-house for humans turned wolf with nowhere to go. Everett thought he had found his place in helping others like him to accept and balance the beast within, but soon his skin starts itching again, and he doesn’t know what it will take to calm him this time.


You can see that when I rearrange things a bit, it improves. But there’s too much backstory and not enough of the meat of the actual story moving forward.

Explain more about what Everett’s problem is and what’s at stake.


Also one thing to take in mind, Keep it short, people are lazy and often just scim through blurbs.
The moment I cut mine to just a few sentences I saw more readers.