Looking to Review Your Stories! :D



Hey all, I’m xonsethereal and I am an avid lover of fiction. Having chomped down on hundreds of fiction books by now and discussed them with various book clubs, I’ve already developed a sixth sense (literally) for what will probably constitute good writing. Since I’ve been in the iceberg for far too long before getting defrosted, I really want to get back into the field and see what ya’ll are doing now. I’m hence offering to read and review the first and second chapter of your book, though I may continue on if the book really piques my interest. I will review any genre of book put forward. I will give you feedback on your strengths and weaknesses in writing so far, and how you can improve. I can promise that every feedback I give is honest and will help you improve much more as a writer.
Format for your posts for me to review is as follows:
Short Summary:

Payment: Just for you to read my first and second chapter of my first and only book so far, Irresistibly Innocent Love (a teen romance novel), and comment on the chapter. As a fellow writer, I still am looking to see how my work is really viewed by others, and each feedback makes a ton of difference. Do read ahead if it does really intrigue you (which is my hope) :slight_smile:
Link for my book is: https://www.wattpad.com/story/135167681-irresistibly-innocent-love
Note that I will get back to you after I see you’ve commented on the chapters of my work.

Thanks again and I look forward to seeing the great masterpieces that you do :wink:


Hello there!

Title: The Test of the Ages
Genre: Action/Romance
Short Summary: When Percy is left stranded, it is Alice’s job to be able to secure the future of the Triumph. The question is, how?

Still a very short WIP, just want to get help on the opening for now to see if I’m on the right track. Also, read yours and I must say it’s very intriguing indeed! Keep up the great work!


Hey @lowenthal_123,

Thanks for the request and the kind comments! I’ve read yours as well and have added the feedback :wink:


Title: Judge’s Vanquish
Genre: Romance
Shorty Summary: Society ended in 1976, and a few centuries later society edges back to the technological edge that it died on. The new colonies of the United States heavily resemble the late 1800s, although the dynamics that hold it together are vastly different. After becoming a dancer for the court of one of the most powerful colonies, Vanessa Trent finds herself engaged in an unrecognized passion with Judge Troy Collins. He challenges everything that she ever was, and everything she wants to be.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/651657086-judge's-vanquish-author's-note

Let me know if that works and I will get to the payment


Thanks for your request! Read through it and I loved the first two chapters! Added comments along the way already!


Short Story
African American teens Ann and John Baker witness terrifying monsters come to life after the power in their house fails and the TV characters gain twisted minds of their own. Now they must rescue their sisters Lily and Gina before the monsters steal them away forever.


title: The Roman Project: The Wronged
genre: science fiction
short summery: One day Jeen and Roman’s mother goes missing, and as they search for her in the large city, they’re kidnapped. With the help of someone they’re not sure they can fully trust, they continue the search. They discover secrets and lies about their family and past, making them question everything they once knew.

link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/142043059-the-roman-project-the-wronged


Title: Accidentally Bound
Genre: General Fiction, LGBT
Short Summary: A story about a man resurrected back to 10 years earlier to change his life for the better and change the ending to the tragedy he had witnessed first hand after he had committed suicide over his lover’s death.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/164442395-accidentally-bound-boyxboy

I will complete the payment if accepted, thank you so much for offering this service! ^^


Title: Heart Breaker for Hire
Genre: Adult Romance (Contains mature language. No mature content as of yet)
Short Summary: Girls hire her to break the hearts of boys that have broken theirs. But what is she to do when she has to break a heart she doesn’t want to.
I’ll do payment once accepted (:


Thanks for the request and for checking out mine! Checked out yours already :smiley:


Thanks for the request, I’ll happily accept! I’ll get to reading it tonight!


Accepted, I’ll let you know soon!


Do you read only original works?


thank you! i’ll start reading yours now! ^^


Title: What the Morning Brings
Genre: (YA) Fantasy
Short Summary:
Ori is an average, boring boy. Or so he thought, until a mysterious circus appears in his backyard. He meets Blithe, a golden, glittery acrobat who immediately draws Ori in. So when she invites him to run away and join the Cirque de Reverie, how can he refuse?

Two sisters. Opposites. When one runs away, leaving the younger sister heartbroken, she must find a way to save her older sister before it’s too late. But in a circus that thrives on magic, mystery, and manipulation, that task might just be monumental.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/166826871-what-the-morning-brings-nanowrimo2018


thank you!!:heart:


Hi, I’d love it if you could check out my mystery/thriller novel.

All the Lights are On
Mystery/Thriller (If this is out of your comfort zone, I understand)
“If there was one thing that could throw this town on its head, of course it’d be the goddamned McKenzie house.”

The McKenzie house stood tall and proud, its walls worn down by time and weather. It sat with windows boarded and shutters closed, with doors locked and a porch full of holes. It was still for sale, but nobody in their right minds would buy it. First it lost its family, then its charm, and finally its power. For the past two decades, the house stood overlooking Weary Ranch, cold and dark and desolate. On one cold September morning, the citizens of Weary Ranch woke up to alarming news. All the lights were on in the McKenzie house.


Thank you!


Title: Duplicity Demise the familiar
Genre: fantasy
Short summary: a young man is drafted into the world of sorcery when a beautiful witch chooses him as her familiar with his new powers he must protect his mistress at all costs even if it means his own life
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/142542608-duplicity-demise-the-familiar


Title: A Prince’s Errand
Genre: Fantasy
Summary: Kalda is a world of magic and wonder. Long ago, men harnessed the Channels of Power, creating tevisrals–devices capable of manifesting magic. But men weren’t the only ones to accomplish such feats. Dragons crafted the most sophisticated tevisrals. These shaped the world, defining civilization of both man and elf alike. Centuries after a cataclysmic war–abated only by the Crimson Eye–the men Kalda have fallen into a dark age, where elves are estranged, and dragons are no more. Tevisrals which made Kalda utopian are lost. Now men trade everything for tevisrals. But there are some men who wish to bury the past, and in their lands possessing tevisrals is tantamount to treason. Still, some men scour the world in search of Kalda’s past. One such man, the scholar Krindal, ventures across the world in search of an ancient order known as the Keepers of Truth and Might–a coalition that kept the world aright, but has long since disappeared. Prince Kaescis Midivar also searches for these Keepers. The death of his uncle, the late emperor of Mindolarn, killed his hopes for peace with the Kingdom of Los. His empire’s survival hinges upon unearthing the Keepers’ secrets. An aging warrior, Cornar Dol’shir, longs for the days to be home with his wife. But his retirement must wait, as his band of adventurers is recruited to help find the Keepers’ hidden temple on the Isle of Klindala. Haunted by his past, Iltar seeks to unravel the mysteries held within the Codices of Soron Thahan–a volume of prophecy foretelling the advent of the Unspoken One and the return of the Crimson Eye. His search takes him to Mindolarn, where all is not as it seems.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/146659604-a-prince’s-errand


Accepted! I’ll get to it soon!