mira's free book reviews 🤓 || CLOSED ON LONG-TERM DUE TO BUSY SCHEDULE ─ positive in-line comments, honest constructive feedback and more ~

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#81

yay

Bitten By History
by @MisterRabbit
Express Queue

Oof, that beginning was so perfect in Chapter 1! I was so intrigued like, straight away, so points for that :nerd_face:. Sorry for lowkey spamming your story with so many comments, I just couldn’t help myself :joy:. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too optimistic about this book when you filled in the form, but now I can see that I was wrong - this is a great book, written by a great writer. I honestly would love to do a full review if time allows/if I had the space to do so. The only problem with grammar and punctuation were some really accidental mistakes - just look it over when you are finished, you’ll see them straight away. Apart from that, your quotation formatting is almost purrr-fect. This is one of the best plots I’ve ever read, and I truly loved this so much. Honestly, if you can impress someone who never reads paranormal/murder/supernatural stories just based on how YA it is and how intriguing it is, your writing career is all set. You have impressed me so much. I absolutely loved this story so far.


#82

yay

What the Morning Brings
By @infiorescent
Express Queue

Unique. Descriptive. Beautiful. Your story was the epitome of an aesthetic piece of… liberal art. It’s perfect editing and vocabulary ranges are beautiful and immaculate, the descriptions are pure and so wonderful to read. The amount of detail you include in each tiny part reminds me of one of my favourite childhood authors - I must note of the prominent use of pretty words that make me feel like I’m reading in a cozy room but with sunset lights with some ikea aesthetics. It had an interesting start and finish within the few chapters I read, and I really enjoyed reading it. It does sometimes feel like it’s too much, although I loved the vivid descriptions, some might just end up skimming without reading. The only actual issue, though, was that there was some lack of pacing and the paragraphing was poorly done - but it shouldn’t take too long to do! All in all, I loved reading this, good work. I love how it progressed and each word flew perfectly after one another.


#83

Wattpad Username: ValerieJackson2003
**Story Title: Dragon Rider In the Modern World
**Story URL:https://my.w.tt/DNvkWi1dsS
**Genre:Fantasy
Synopsis: The idea came from the fact that I’ve noticed that most dragon fantasies take place in the Middle Ages, or early industrial revolution, so I decided to write how it would be like in the Modern World.
**Secret Code/Password: I would like feedback so that the eventual rewrite will be the best it can be.
Express or Full Queue: full
**Anything you want me to specifically comment on: plot and characterization


#84

sorrynotacceptingforthatqueue

sorry, i had to deny...

I’m not accepting requests for full queue currently, only express queue.


#85

@infiorescent forgot to tag you in your review originally, sorry about that!


#86

Thank you for doing this!

Wattpad Username: juniormint94
Story Title: Air Born
Story URL: https://www.wattpad.com/story/165654709-air-born
Genre: YA Contemporary Fantasy
Synopsis: 17 year old Orion Candor moves to a new town after a mysterious fire destroys her home. She soon discovers she is an Air Sorceress, and must attend an elite academy in a foreign, magical country. However, she soon learns that her erratic powers are linked to her long-dead grandmother, who held a secret that puts Orion’s life in danger.
Secret Code/Password: I’d love to know if the story hooks you in. Do you feel like you can’t keep reading, or it hooks you and you want to know what happens next?
Express or Full Queue: Express, please. Please read the first three chapters. There is no prologue, just an “Author’s Note.”


#87

acceptedthanks

i will be adding you to express queue shortly.

#88

Thank you so much! Do you have suggestions for how I should improve my pacing and paragraphing?


#89

Paragraphing: After quotations, start a new paragraph, and have some variance between your paragraph length, perhaps. You can also ask an editor for paragraphing help, of course, but I didn’t notice a huge problem with it, just minor problems.

Pacing: Maybe put more content in one chapter - stories tend to be quicker than real time, so maybe have time skips at times - at current, it feels like it is slower than actual real time.

Good work :nerd_face: you’re doing great!


#90

Ok then, can you add it to the express, and later on review other chapters after the first three? I need reviews on the latest ones more than on the first ones.


#91

Sorry, it’s called an express queue because it’s express. If you want, you can wait for a full queue opening. Hope you understand. Also, I probably won’t take full queue for that story because I don’t read that genre often.


#92

Express Queue is open again.


#93

yay

ZEITGEIST | Chapter 1
By @GhostsInsideOfMyBed
Full Queue

First, let me start off with wowza, the covers, aesthetic and formatting of this book has impressed me so much. They’re so pretty and nice to look at. Another thing I noticed is that your grammar and punctuation is near-perfect, if not perfect already - so that’s a good note. The only thing I couldn’t really get was that I couldn’t, well, get into the story so far. I’ve tried to really focus and read it, but it felt like my eyes were not comprehending the words the story offered, so I’ve read it 3 times over. Perhaps the way of illustrating the plot was too foreign for me, who knows :nerd_face:… The story and plot seems quite interesting so far, but as I mentioned previously, it was hard to understand at first. Lastly, your paragraphing was great and everything is really easy to grasp apart from the entire ‘me not getting the plot right away’ thing. Good work! :heart: (Will be commenting on the characters after a few chapters) :hugs:


#94

yay

The Scepter of Tamido | Ch.1: The Makiista Clan
by @TheTigerWriter
Full Queue

The thing that most impressed me of this story was the paragraphing - it was perfect, as well as the near-perfect grammar (there were some issues with commas, but I’m sure a look-through will solve the issue). I will admit, when I first read this, I was kinda scared I would drop it at chapter 10 as I really don’t read this type of story frequently. However, when I started actually getting into it, it was a lot easier to understand than I expected (no promises though). The graphics I saw in this was also well-suiting and I love the plot so far. Good work!


#95

yay

The Girl From Swan Lake | Chapter 1
by @perdida_princesa19
Full Queue

Firstly, wonderful start you’ve got there. I’m already in love with the plot (or perhaps due to the fact I adore Teen Fiction) - but this has been a wonderful book so far. Its captivating protagonist is a common overachiever like most Julliard applicants - the anxiety and feelings that rippled across her movements and actions are prominently described. However, I have noticed that there aren’t too many vocabulary ranges in it as far as your descriptiveness, but it helps the reader relate and easily understand the story, so that’s a good part. Another note, is that I’d strongly encourage you to get an editor! Editors can help you with quotations, vocabulary and sentence structure - some common weak points. The plot’s really great and I can’t wait to find out what happens. Also, I love how you’re able to use their actions and words to describe each character. The flow is smooth and easy to follow, and I can’t wait to read the next chapter. The ending, by the way, was perfect, it tied it up in a bow.


#96

Can I ask what these numbers mean? :thinking:
Are they just there for you to keep track of something or what’s to be understood by them?
At first, I thought it was the number of the post that you left the feedback on, but that doesn’t fit.


#97

:joy:

The first number is the number they requested it in (so I can easily check what kind of feedback they wanted or any other information). All numbers afterwards are the post numbers of my feedback for them. :nerd_face:


#98

Aha! So I was on the right track. :grin:
I’m considering applying, but I’m currently working on/trying to rewrite my preface. But it’s a teen fic, so it should be right up your alley.


#99

Oh, that sounds wonderful. The Express Queue is at 4 stories down right now, so if it’ll take you a day or two to re-edit the chapters you want me to do, applying now should be okay. :nerd_face:


#100

**Title:**Death with a side of clam chowder
**Author:**By @NuclearPotatoes
**Genre:**Science Fiction

https://www.wattpad.com/739514-death-with-a-side-of-clam-chowder-cold-clam

**Secret code/password:**I appreciate any and all feedback so I can improve my writing

After the sudden deaths of her family, Isabelle is thrust into a world that is cruel and unjust. Her extended family treated her as little more than a servant and her fathers precious company is in the hands of a very bad man.

All Isabelle wants is to free herself from the clutches of evil and survive.

Little did she know that a world full of mystical madness and suprises at every corner would be what she found. Follow Isabelle as she unravels the truth and gets the one thing she wanted all along. Revenge.

Set in a dystopian future after humanity has to spread far into the cosmos after the destruction of earth. Series that takes the main character to many different planets: some rooted in science and some altered by circumstance to be more magically based

Express or full queue: book is only 5 chapters so express: first 3 chapters
I would appreciate general feedback please: also if I have any large errors- Its hard to catch all of them