Need help with a better summary lmao

writing
blurb
help
advice

#1

I feel like my summary of my story isn’t that eye-catching… It looks mediocre at best and I can’t think of how to improve it…
It goes something like
“Like most graduates, Oliver has no idea what he wanted to do with his life. Graduating high school at the age of 16 because of an acceleration program Oliver wasted his time at home jobless. When opportunity struck at a job his mom rushed at it seeing as the job provided a paid suite. The job? A janitor at an unfamiliar high school. The Catch? The girls may look cute but they are dangerous monsters…”


#2

This sounds like something out of an anime. LOL


#3

It is not that bad, just make sure you write it all in one tense, and fix the sentence about his mom and the flat/apartment he is getting with a job.


#4

Try and stray away from open ended questions. You have a lot of good information here, but I it feels rushed to me. I usually start with introducing the character which I see you’ve done and then I introduce the conflict.

For example:
Like most graduates, Oliver (last name) had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. Except Oliver graduated high school at the age of 16. After completing an acceleration program, he wasted away the days, jobless. When opportunity strikes, Oliver jumps at the chance to have a paying job, even if it is as a janitor at a high school. Although, not everything is as it seems and the girls may be cute but underneath they are dangerous monsters. Will Oliver be able to keep to himself or will he fall into their trap?


#5

Basically lmao I just thought of the mindset of what would an anime do?