Offering Minimum of One Chapter Critiques

I will read and give notes on your first chapter. I will try to critique up to five chapters, but if I find significant errors early on or if I am seeing the same types of errors throughout, I will critique less, but I will read and critique at least one chapter.

Reading-wise, I prefer scifi/fantasy and love Harry Potter. I will critique most stories, but am not a fan of straight romance (i.e. romance is fine as a subplot, but more should be happening than the characters falling for each other). If romance is included, my preference is for mxf, but I am open to reading mxm or fxf, but I may not have as much to offer in a critique due to inexperience in these areas (especially mxm). Also keep in mind that if the request is for fan fiction, if I am not familiar with the fandom, this could be an issue–that said, what I can do is give feedback on how to make it more open to those who are not familiar.

Payment: Please read and comment on one of the following chapters below, tagging it #1Critique, so I know to critique your story (if you have a particular story or chapter you want critiqued, post in here or send me a private message). Keep in mind that these are not necessarily the first chapter of the book in question, but rather the next chapter in that particular book that needs opinions. You are only required to comment on one.

Unspeakables Chapter 8

Unspeakables II: Chapter One

Unspeakables III: Chapter One (Not yet available on Wattpad)

If you choose the third sample, you can comment directly on the document or send me a message with your comment. A comment directly in the document is easiest for me, though I am willing to accept either.

Lastly, just be patient. I will post the queue, so that you know when you are on the list to be critiqued. I will likely not be able to critique more than one book per day, so as I said, be patient. I may be on wattpad a lot, but I do have other projects I work on as well.

And that’s it–I look forward to reading all your stories!



  1. @draphy-The World Changer
  2. @Uncomfortablewriter–Into the After
  3. @WhimsicalWordsmith-A Piece of My Heart
  4. @silver00960–Tempting Fate: Chapter One
  5. @CMF_Wright–Thief of Hearts and other short stories: Wounded
  6. @Abigail-Lynn0-Capiche

Hello there!

It seems that your thread is more fitting for the #story-services:critiques-and-feedback club. I am going to move your thread there.

Thank you for understanding!


Community Ambassador

1 Like

I do not belong to this club. Please do not move my thread. How do I set up an ad for story services?

1 Like

Hello! Are you offering a story critique service? If it’s a critique service then this is the right place for your thread :blush:

Also, to set up a service ad in story service, you can browse the section that suit your service and put up a new topic :star: If you’re talking about story ad, then the #share-your-story is the place for that.

1 Like

Yes. Isn’t that what it says? My price is just for a read of one chapter of one of my books. The comment is to verify they’ve read it–that’s all. I’m offering critiques on at least one chapter in exchange for one read of one chapter.

Alright then, just want to confirm since you said you do not belong in this club :slight_smile:
Then I’ll let this thread stay here, thank you for the confirmation! 1


What happens when a death row prisoner and a prostitute falls in love? A short story of mine, only 3 chapters! I hope you like it!

Genre: Romance, tragedy with elements of mental illness.

Romance as a main plot really isn’t my forte as I say in my post, so I’m not really how much I will have to offer. Also, you need to read one of my links first and briefly comment, so that I know you read it.

Ah nevermind, let me change it to this one then:

Title, link: The Last Woman on Earth
Description: Long ago, there was a type of human existed in this world, and they were called ‘women’. Our generation will never know what happened. None of the remaining public documents mention why ‘women’ have gone extinct, and it seems the people of later generations have done so deliberately. And I found a so-called last of their kind.

(For context: the story is set in 1990s Russia)
Genre: Scifi, Dystopia, War novel.

This will suit you better :slight_smile:

1 Like

DENIED due to not following directions.

Hello! I’d love to have some feedback from you ^^!

Title: The World Changer.

Genre: Portal fantasy adventure.

Tahro Akagi shouldn’t live in two worlds at once.

Yet forced to spend his days studying by a no-nonsense mother, he longs for adventure. At a moment of desperation, Tahro finds himself in Saishuu Riku, the lands of his favourite book. Engrossed in this world more than he ever thought possible, Tahro saves a character’s life.

But if a butterfly’s wings can bring thunderstorms, then his every breath is another flap as it flies, his every heartbeat a danger to those around him.

Unwittingly, he plunges too deep into the conspiracy of a witch biding her time against the continent. When tensions rise between the ministers of Saishuu Riku, and children are kidnapped by a man with butterfly-patterned knives, Tahro knows he’s changed too much. Events that should happen don’t, and his new friends are caught in a crossfire he wants no part in.

But when one of the kidnapped children is his friend, he must choose between her and the rest of the world.


I’ve seen your work advertised recently through various threads on here. And now you have me intrigued! Might go and read it now.

ACCEPTED. I’m adding your story to my queue now, and I’ll hopefully have something up for you by the end of the day. I’m not promising the full five chapters today, but if I can get all five done, I will.

1 Like

Thank you ^^!

I’m game!

Title: Into the After
Genre: Fantasy / Sci-Fi / Adventure
Blurb: Solar flares wiped out half of the human race, sickness and hunger decimated those that remained and those who survived the aftermath faced a world unlike anything they had ever known. A genetic race ensued between the groups of survivors; splicing, manipulating, mutating genes until the species Homo Sapiens almost ceased to exist entirely.

A small faction of purists – humans against genetic modification – created the United Alliance, reclaiming lost cities across the continent and barricading themselves inside, effectively cutting themselves off from the rapidly evolving world around them.

200 years pass and the Alliance is failing. Food shortages and overcrowding push their cities to the brink of collapse. When a plague breaks out and the barriers are destroyed by Genetic Mutations, Valaria Black Blood, heiress to the Blood Regency of Life, must leave her city, her home, and go out into the After in search of answers to questions she never knew existed. With the help of the most unlikely of allies, she must save her people, her cities, and a way of life that she’s no longer sure she believes in.


I will try to get to this today if I can. If not, I should be able to work on it tomorrow.

Awesome, thank you & no worries! :slight_smile:

I’d love it if you’d give my little collection a try. It is but a piece of my heart! :wink:

Title: A Piece Of My Heart
Genre: Poetry


Falling in love is a process. So is falling out of it.
This collection of mine has been written slowly over the years.
It contains not only poems, but little tidbits, snippets from my diary, musings, and philosophies of what love is and of how love is bittersweet; love is not all roses and rainbows that media makes it to be.
It explores the other side of love, one that is filled with heartbreak,hope and longing for something you’ll never have.
When the soul weeps, the heart speaks… :heart: And these words are the fruit of my heart’s blood.
I hope what I write touches your hearts, burrows in and stays for life.

I’m aware that poetry is a rather difficult genre to critique. So all I expect are some comments on what you like and don’t like. And if you’d rather not read poetry, I’ve got prose, or something short! And I require feedback on the later posted material, not the beginning ones. So please let me know if you accept!

DENIED–due to not following directions.