[Open] In Line Comments + Critique (UPDATED POST)




Read-for-Read / Critique-for-Critique / In line Comments

Hi there! I am a ‘returning’ writer. And I know you already can guess why I posted this topic (as the title suggests).

I haven’t finished my story yet, it’s called TORN. I have been trying to finish it since 2013 and due to some reasons, up until now, it’s not yet finished. I revised it, many times. Currently, I am using third person point of view and I am getting comfortable how the story flows.

I only re-published FIVE chapters and a prologue, for the mean time. I added/deleted some scenes and now I want to hear if my plot is okay or not.

Torn is a Fantasy Novel, Vampire, Thriller, and has Mature Contents.
and has LENGTHY chapters (3000-4000 words)
Here’s the link to my story:


I can do maximum of SEVEN chapters.
I guess it’s a fair trade, I only have SIX parts of story vs your SEVEN chapters :slight_smile:

Please use the form below if you agree with my terms

What Type of Feedback?: (Grammar, story, or both)
Link: (pls provide link)
If you don’t let me know what you want then I would just comment on ‘how’ I want it.

PS. I prefer In Line Comments, but if you want an overview review in the end of your chapter then just please indicate in the reply section.

:star: Payment
Please wait for my notification before you start with the payment :slight_smile:
Once I accepted your request, you can start right away. You may also comment here once your done so I will get double notifs and be prompted to do my pending service.

:heart: You may choose whichever chapter to read/comment.

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four (Mature)
Chapter Five (Mature)

If you are not into this kind of genre, then please do visit my other thread: In line Comments {OPEN}

Thank you in advance and enjoy reading!

:memo: List of requests accepted:

  1. Eternal Orchids by Lucille_Dixon (done)
  2. The Night’s Luna by Candice_Jenn (done)
  3. His Eternal Muse by BiblioWrites (done)
  4. Tale of the Black Dawn Series 1 by JoshAbra (done)
  5. Life as a Holiday by FZrnICeyKye (done)
  6. Rosalind by Josiedennise (done)
  7. Blood Dolls by Amazing_Aims (done)
  8. Zombie: Lost & Found by veinglory (done)
  9. Amnesia by queen_sixhei - waiting for notif
  10. Phasma by psynoidAl - (done)
  11. Balance is key by llllllllllok - waiting for notif
  12. Ivory Black by Writerthoughtss - (done)
  13. Dreams Far Gone by kintsuki - (done)
  14. Miss Nobody by atoo_2504 - waiting for notif
  15. Son of Winter by dear_wormwood - waiting for notif
  16. The Bad Boy Says I’m Crazy by insanefuckery - (done)
  17. Memoirs of a Goddess by RebeccaSalazar - (done)
  18. Agony Memori by spxcedream - (done)
  19. Schrodinger’s Child by modestmeri - (done)
  20. The Path to You by fallynsinclair - waiting for notif
  21. Ethan, Espressos, and the End of Days by Synonym_Rolls - (done)
  22. Jericho by kyrrai - (done)


Hey @carikitty!

I’m in the same boat as you with my new story - got a prologue and two chapters written… happy to do a read-for-read with you if you like? I’m not too fussed about spelling/grammar feedback unless you spot any howlers, more the story and character development so far and the language style/mood setting…

Let me know! :slight_smile:

Title: Eternal Orchids
Genre: YA/Romance
What Type of Feedback?: As above
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/179210612-eternal-orchids


Hi there! Sure thing, Id love to exchange reads.
accepted :slight_smile:


I would love if you could help me by providing critique on my story
I will complete the payment as soon as my story gets approved

Tittle: The Night’s Luna
Genre: Fantasy Romance /Vampire /werewolf
Type of feedback: story


Title: His Eternal Muse
Genre: Teen Fiction
What Type of Feedback?: Both grammar and story.
Link: https://my.w.tt/ET2y4tw1PU

Thank youuu so much for doing this and I would be happy to do a Read-for-Read service :slight_smile:


Story accepted :slight_smile:
I’m into Fantasies :wink:
Can’t wait to read and leave a critique on your story


Story accepted :slight_smile:
please notify me once done. I already added your story in my pending list :slight_smile:


Thank youu so much! I will notify you once I’m done reading your story :slight_smile:


Title: Life as a Holiday
Genre: Adventure
Feedback: Story
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/180508445-life-as-a-holiday
Just my prologue. Hope you will like it!


Hi, if you have time, can you also read mine too?
Title: Tale of the Black Dawn Series 1: U N R A V E L
Genre: Fantasy (its also has a vampire and werewolf theme, but like yours I am still in my fetus stage)
What Type of Feedback: Both (Just be frank with me. No sugar coated)
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/170504709
It’s a read for read and critique for critique service.


Hello there :slight_smile:
Which service would you like to trade? Read for Read or Lengthy Critique?


Sure, I’d love to. Story accepted.
Please let me know once your done with my story so I can pay you back right away.


Sure thing :grinning:. Thanks again


I can read and critique later today. I’ll let you know when it’s done.


Can you please just read and say what you think about my beginning of the story? i am going do the same and if I will enjoy it I will add it to my reading list and continue reading.


Alrighty :slight_smile:
story accepted


Hello!! Hope you are having a great day. :slight_smile:


Title: Rosalind
Genre: Werewolf
What Type of Feedback?: Both
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/178738154-rosalind

My story isn’t very long, but I would appreciate any feedback. My goal is to make it the best it can be. I hope it’s not a bother.


Hi there! sure thing.story accepted :slight_smile:
please let me know once youre done with my story so i can pay you back
thanks in advance




Also I sent you a message… hope you will read it!