Hey, guys! I just need a quick help with these opening paragraphs from one of my books and I had no idea where to beg for it, so why not a new thread?
Anyway, this is from the first chapter of my Adventure/Apocalypse story, The Start Of The End. I will be quite grateful if you could help me figure out all the errors, right from grammatical to story wise or anything else that you feel like is put of place.
They ran through the ankle deep crystal clear water of the great Amazon river, washing their dirt and blood-laden trekking shoes in the cold, ever-flowing river. All it took their ever-growing paranoia, or alertness, as they believed terming it, a few seconds to notice the seemingly quiet environment around the river base. The bubbling sound of the water as it crashed through the rounded, smooth rocks and pebbles in the river bed was the only companion to their own ceaseless panting voices as they had begun darting that morning to the finally found route out of the jungle.
Amanda, Dean and Lexi were earlier going deeper in the more untouched parts of the inside the great, old, mysterious Amazon jungle. The heat of the scorching sun as they travelled all day through the more complicated routes to avoid the man-eating dangers lurking on the more spacious ways of the forest burned through their bruised, dirty skin. As they came to the end of the huge, looming tropical trees , the trio audibly gasped at the scenery in front of them.
The lush Savannah grasslands drifted in the strong, cool, evening gales. The churning gold colour of the long grass that expanded as far as their sights went brightened their hopes as well as ashen faces. They would’ve taken a minute more to admire the beauty, but the suffocating silence of the forest in which they still stood hit them in the head. They had no time to wait because their malicious, mindless hunters whom they had fatally hurt and even slain were still looking for them. And even if they were not in sights, the escaped trio of a fun-gang that had ventured a fortnight ago in the Amazonian border to do some exploration knew they were closing up on them.
Three of them perched lifelessly on the ground covered with lush Savannah grasslands. As far as their gazes reached, everything was quiet, empty and lost. Nothing out of the place, as they knew. But something about the whole environment didn’t feel right to them. The missing burning sun as the evening approached, the unnatural humidity in the wind, the difference between the immediate exteriors and interiors of the forest.
“Does this feel the way it should?” The black-haired, freckled faced young woman unclipped her lustre hairs and fell on her back on the ground, gazing up in the empty sky. She appeared the least injured one among the trio, her clothes were dirty and damp, skin full of bruises and cuts, but apart from that, she was in a single piece.
“Yeah, I think we’re quite alright. This is the road that’ll be taking us to the city, isn’t it?” The only man in the whole group of seven explorers that had gone to uncover the mysteries of the Amazon forest, untouched and unknown, and had survived all the atrocities of past one fortnight, raised his field glasses. As expected, nothing was in his sight. An unknown colour crept up in his dark brown eyes as he turned to the forest behind him. The one where they had fought for their lives for fourteen deadly days, thirteen sleepless nights and only half the group survived.
“It’s alright, Dean. We’ll have to trudge a bit before we reach the main entrance route. It is gonna take some time, but sure that this part of the forest is meant to be this silent.” The olive-skinned, tall woman, with an athletic build, the mature-looking among the trio removed her t-shirt and flailed it to get rid of the dirt and dampness. The blood on the clothes, some injuries, a deep cut on the thigh and yet, she as she stood against the wind in all her graciousness, nothing could beat the beauty and power of her lone presence. She was the one among the surviving two who had killed to escape.
“Let’s get out of this place before night. We can stop somewhere else, but not here; not with the forest and its demons still so close.”
A mixed feeling of fear, anxiety, anger and sadness shadowed on all their faces. Amanda Cox, the leader of their group who had taken up with much pursuance, the responsibility of leading the group through the forest checked their backpacks. Resources had almost run out except a few wild berries and chocolate bars that they weren’t sure about.
“Nothing to worry about. Lexi, you take this bag. It has the…you know.” She handed the heaviest bag to Lexi Hiddleston, who took it without a word. The bag contained all that that remained of their four fallen fellow explorers. “Dean, you take this…”
She looked up when there came no response, almost alarmed. A few metres away from them, near the edge of the dark forest Dean Parkour stood with an axe in his hand. His knuckles had gone all white and so was his face.
Amanda walked next to him, gazing inside the hell that they had escaped from. She trembled, remembering all that they had gone through for the past fortnight. Nothing could stand against the living nightmare that they had left behind them.
Well, I agree it’s not quite the opening paragraphs, but it will still be okay if you guys could help chalk out the errors or give suggestions for improvement for first three paragraphs.