Parched Desert Fantasy-Adventure Story Looking for Betas! (94k words) 3(?) slots!

Title: The Book of Sand
Genre: Fantasy
Subgenre: Adventure
Rating: Some mature themes (violence, blood, some language)
Target Audience: New Adult I know people don’t consider this a thing, but I wouldn’t want tweens reading this.

Synopsis: Aumee is known as ‘wannfota’ by many in the Waystland: the bird with black feet. She is owned by Daya, a renowned witch who trains young women as her spies before selling them off as wives. In order to maintain what little freedom she has as Daya’s assassin, she obeys any and all commands with no questions asked.

That changes when Aumee senses that Daya is after something important. After bargaining her freedom for the spellbook that Daya is after, Aumee is determined to find the book no matter the costs.

All she has to do is track down a spellbook, but she soon finds that her desire for freedom is further from her reach than she had ever thought. Forced to work with Daya’s cursed informant, Fal, Aumee must bargain with a set of twins who own the book in order to fulfill her end of the deal.

Extra: Female lead. Very little romance towards the end of the story. 3.5k word chapters. 27 chapters total.

As stated, this is approximately 94k words. While it is currently considered ongoing on Wattpad, I have the full version available in Google Docs. I’m open to discussing how chapters will be shared.

I would like to focus on the characters, story, and language of the story. I have little to no issues with grammar so I am not looking for someone who will leave grammar-focused comments. Comments throughout the chapter are welcome, as are chapter notes, though I would prefer not to have one long review that generalizes things. I hope to get comments on specific instances or parts of my story.

Payment: I am willing to offer payment, though I won’t deal with votes OR R4Rs. I do offer a review/critique services of my own and am willing to do that as payment as well. Let me know what you personally would prefer.

I am very wary of people stealing works that are not their own while being a beta reader, so I will be picky if I feel off about someone. Experience is preferred.

I’m open to three beta readers, though we’ll see how this goes at first. I may be satisfied with one or too busy to complete payment for more than one.

Hi there,

It looks like you’re trying to find an beta reader for a story. Currently, there is an Beta Reader section in the Story Services club where users post in need of beta readers. Your thread may be best suited for that area.

I have gone ahead and move your thread there.

Thank you for understanding,
Community Ambassador :ladyemerald:

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Greetings. I just clicked around in your story a bit and am interested.

I have a 100k word story that I originally wrote to stay occupied while away from consistent internet for a few months, and ended up putting online after some prodding. I’m currently working on a sequel (or sequels… it’s one big pile for now) for it – I go back for revision passes on the first based on feedback, but what I really need is fuel for the ongoing writing – what people like most in the original, what they want to see more of, that kind of thing. Do you think you have bandwidth for / would you be interested in that kind of feedback exchange?

(If you need a “not gonna steal your work” reference, I just finished a deep edit pass of another author’s story before she self-published it.)

My spiel:

It’s sort of a mutt when it comes to genres --I’ve described to others as a “post-apocalyptic tactical action romance”, with some surprising success with R4R’s who described it as “not something they’d usually read” but have really gotten into as the characters developed. In fact that’s how I picked up some of my most enthusiastic readers and feedback-givers.

One warning I always give these days, it’s set in a post-plague setting – I wrote it almost a year ago, but I know that can be a bit… too close to home right now. There’s more details about content and possible TW’s on the first page of the story.


On Black Friday in 2015, a bioterrorist releases a plague in NYC that leads to societal collapse. Months later, a former college student in urban Virginia tries to find her new place and new people at a settlement of survivors rebuilding their lives, reflects on the rough road that got her there, and helps apply boot to ass of those would would endanger it all.

It’s theoretically categorized as fanfic, but the story is only loosely set in the world of Tom Clancy’s The Division, and requires absolutely no game knowledge to read. I basically borrow the setting and one antagonist faction and then insert OC’s in it. Instead of the “action hero” stars of the game, this story focuses on the lives of normal, “regular” people – ones who might be potential imaginary NPCs in the original universe.

Let me know what you think?

Sorry about that. I think I had a previous draft and couldn’t find a way to get rid of it and switch the categories! Thank you again :sweat_smile: I need to learn more of how this place works.

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Hello! Thank you for your interest, but I’m unfortunately a little too busy right now to do a complete feedback exchange as I’m already working on another novel.

Hey I’d be interested in being a beta reader. I’m currently doing work as an editor for a number of stories here on wattpad and would like to give beta reading a shot. As for experience, I’m currently finishing up my degree in Legal Studies and Business; I’ve taken a number of courses on creative writing and am a bit of a linguistics nerd :slight_smile: Feel free to PM me at if you’re interested :slight_smile:

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