Intended Length: 50k words
Intended Audience: 13+
Emery is a talented healer working for a controlling master. He doesn’t let her showcase the true extent of her abilities for fear that she will surpass him. This frustrates Emery who longs to prove herself.
Nella, a patient, offers Emery a job working for her. Nella promises to help her win the recognition she deserves. At the promise of fame and fortune, Emery accepts.
Emery escapes from her master’s lair. She is led into an underground fortress where soldiers are training for battle. A mysterious man called Borjar runs the army from the shadows, but Nella manages it.
Nella gives Emery a sword and puts her through ‘tests’ where she must battle other knights. At the end of the fight, a soldier is laying wounded on the ground. Nella tells her not to revitalize the man, as this is also part of the test, and Emery reluctantly listens.
Emery is introduced to Azalea, nicknamed ‘Deathbringer’ for her power to suck away others’ life force. Azalea also works for Nella, and her and Emery become partners.
They are told to retrieve a deadly poison from the Apuvell Empire palace’s dungeon. Along their journey, Azalea teaches Emery how to properly fight. When they return with the poison, Nella and Borjar have sent their army to attack the Apuvell Empire. Emery doesn’t want to fight against the Empire as her brother is a soldier there, but she joins the fight anyways.
While fighting, Emery stumbles across her brother. He tells her that she is fighting for a tyrant. Emery spares his life, but doesn’t listen to his pleas.
The Apuvell Empire’s troops are driven to surrender. Afterwards, Nella explains her scheme to Azalea and Emery. She will poison many of the city’s wells. As Emery is the only healer strong enough to combat the poison, the country will be at her mercy. This will grant Emery the fame and fortune she always wanted, and will weaken the Empire to help Nella take over.
When Nella admits that most people will be beyond saving, Emery and her get into a fight. Azalea kills Nella to intervene.
Borjar sends his army after the two girls. Emery revitalizes those wounded from the previous battle, creating an army to defend herself. Emery and Azalea get away, and they find a party of soldiers who are poisoning the water supply.
Emery and Azalea try to stop the soldiers, but their powers are weak from overuse and they lose.
Upon discovering that a hidden antidote to the poison exists, they go on a quest to track it down. When they find the stronghold, they realize that Borjar has already discovered it.
Emery and Azalea are captured. Emery finds a note from Nella confessing to poisoning Borjar. They stall him until the poison sets in and he dies.
Freed from his clutches, Emery and Azalea take the antidote and pour it into the wells to counteract the poison.
The plot of the story is that Emery is recruited to help an army with bad intentions, and she must rebel against the leaders. Emery’s character goes from using her powers only to gain approval, to doing what is right even if it benefits her less. Azalea’s character goes from being trusting and reliant on others to thinking for herself.
I have a more in depth version of the plot lined out if you have any questions for things I didn’t mention. Would be interested in hearing any feedback you may have.
And, is the final blow okay? I was thinking it would be an interesting plot twist but I’m not sure if Emery should have a bigger role in bringing down Borjar.