#PitMad Pitch Party

For those who didn’t know, the last #PitMad event of the year is on the 5th of December. Like many others who have done so in the past, creating different threads, I thought it would be a good idea to show our pitches to each other and perhaps get some feedback.

This will be my first time participating in such an event, so I hope something decent comes out of it, otherwise I’m doomed.

Kinsha forgoes the chance to kill the King of Hope, yet when Arran, a close friend, is beheaded by a pretentious lord, he rushes to the capital in pursuit of revenge. What lies ahead of this troublesome criminal is deceit, betrayal and violence beyond measure.

A few hints on how to have a successful #PitMad:

Be sure to include hashtags for your genre and/or age group. A lot of agents filter by hashtags to find genres they represent. There’s usually a list of genre hashtags floating around, but some common ones are #PB (picture book), #MG (middle grade), #YA (young adult), #A (adult), #R (romance), #SF (sci-fi), #F (fantasy), #H (horror), and many others.

Edit: Here’s a good guide to #PitMad that includes hashtags at the bottom, as well as FAQ: https://pitchwars.org/pitmad

The best pitches are those that give the stakes: what must the character accomplish and what will happen if they do or don’t succeed.

Comparisons are also good, if they give you a visual of what the story is about: for example, Game of Thrones meets My Little Ponies give an immediate mental image of what the story might be. (That actually might be a cool book, if anyone wants to steal the idea. I’d read it.) But they aren’t necessary, so don’t force it.

To save on space in the tweet, don’t worry about including character names. Instead, tell us who they are: a poor blacksmith, a devious king, a weary traveler, etc. You can expand on that more in the query letter later.

I’m sure I’ll think of more later. I’m a veteran of numerous #PitMad, usually from the other side of the table, so I can offer help to anyone who’s wondering what agents/editors are looking for in pitches, or whether your pitch would grab attention.

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[center] Hello! :smile: [/center] @Careless_Whisper

Alas, I’m going to have to delete your post. Self-advertising is against Club Guidelines

If you would like feedback on your story, feel free to have a look in the Story Services club :smile:

You can also share your story in the Share a Story Club :smile:

Thank you for understanding!

XX - Community Ambassador

Excellent advice! I got my contract via Pitmad, so I can really recommend it.

@galaxy_dars Okay, please take this as constructive criticism: I’m a bit confused as to who is doing what (a close friend is beheaded, yet he rushes to the capital in pursuit of revenge). I know you mean Kinsha, but from the writing it isn’t clear. Who, however, is the troublesome criminal? Kinsha as well? Plus I don’t understand what is at stake. As @melissamydarling darling rightly points out, that is quite important.

I give you mine, no saying it’s great, it’s not

My Big Fat Greek WeedingxRomancing the stone. Geri fears she killed hubby with her thoughts. Ex-bro-in-law can help her find the truth, but they loathe each other. Getting too close to her favorite enemy is risky—and no, not just because of the R word

Hey, I’ve taken your advice onboard and this is what I’ve come up with:

After seeing his friend being beheaded by a pretentious lord, Kinsha rushes to the capital in pursuit of revenge. Deceit, betrayal and a world of violence await him, along with the risk of being exposed as a well-known criminal, and a troublesome one at that.

I hope this sounds clearer than the other.

This so much better!!!

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You don’t know how good it feels to see you say that!

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What’s your twitter handle? Can have a lookout and re-tweet.

That would be much appreciated. It’s @d_aden9

I think it’s good. There’s enough intrigue within the first few words to pique my interest. Though, the tone of the pitch is giving me humor vibes. If that happens to be one of the genres this falls into, then disregard this lol. The last sentence is also a little confusing, as I’m not sure which R word your alluding to is it supposed to be risky? maybe i’m just dumb

Here’s mine:

HARRY POTTER X INFINITY WAR

Ever since her parents were killed, Makaela has been running. But when her enemies finally find her, she must protect the last piece of her family she has left. A failure to do so will spell the end of the world as she knows it.

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Sorry, @lhansenauthor , but I’m with @ProjectPr1de on this one. Which R word is it?

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Is the capital important? I found it a little distracting. Maybe consider something more direct.

After witnessing the brutal beheading of his best friend by a pretentious lord, Kinsha is hell bent on revenge. Facing a web of deceit, betrayal, and violence, he not only risks his freedom but also has to find a way to stay alive.

My first thought was: what is she running from? I think you might get around that by pulling the enemies in the first sentence. Also, the last piece of family was too cryptic for me for a pitch. Consider being more direct like “her sister, her pet, her uncle”. I do like that you included the stakes in the last sentence, but I wasn’t sure why her failure would spell the end of the world as she knows it. What makes her so special? I think you need to hint at this a little bit.

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Well, it’s not a person. It’s an item. But you’re right, I probably should hint at what it is.

Thank you for the feedback! It’s hard fitting all of this information into 280 characters lol. I definitely need to do some shuffling around to make sure I included all the important bits.

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When I did my very first PitMad, they still had the 140 character limit. Still not sure how I did it, lol

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Hi, thanks, very much appreciated! Yup, the story is a romantic comedy so I’m pleased the funny vibes come across.

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Romance, but if it is unclear for both of you, then it is unclear. That one got the most likes last time, based on your feedback I fixed it to “not just because of Eros’s arrows.” Would prefer Cupid but he’s Roman, not Greek. Bugger…

No idea either. i was actually miffed when i had to extend my pitches…

Cool Comp, I really liked that. The first sentence is good, but I agree with @sal - can you add what she is running from? Since there’s more complexity later, I would pull this all to the front Since Z killed her parents, Makaela has been on the run. She is protecting X,( that does Y). Finally caught, only doing A will save the world - at the cost of her life.

I was making things up, but as Sal says, with a bit more clarity this becomes more YOUR story, rather than something just a tad generic.

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