Post your book blurb and get it rated


#1

It’s simple. Post your book blurb and get it rated from 1 to 10. Rate the one posted above then post yours.

Here’s mine from my book Breaking Eden.

Declan Payne isn’t your average multimillionaire CEO. He’s the owner of Pleasure in Payne, one of the worlds most profitable sex toy manufacturers. But underneath his poised, well mannered facade lies a sinister beast waiting to be released. And the moment he spots Eden the need to own her, in every way imaginable, consumes him. He’ll stop at nothing to claim what he believes is rightfully his.

Eden Burrows is a featured dancer at Harvey’s and couldn’t be happier. Only her days in the spotlight are numbered when she crosses paths with the stranger in room 6. What starts off as a routine job ends in betrayal and her imprisonment. Held against her will, Eden must over come her fear and fight to escape because, for her, dying is not an option.


#2

To be honest, it sounds a little more like a BDSM erotica story than a mystery, where the author is being totally creepy and glorifying rape (which unfortunately, there are a lot of those here). I would suggest adding in more of the mystery aspect, unless this is purely a thriller, in which case I don’t read much in that genre so I can’t really help. But either way, make it more clear this is an action story. Also, the sentence “Only her days in the spotlight are numbered…” is awkward and grammatically incorrect.

The Charlemont

Murder, curses, and betrayal- this theater is full of secrets.

✵✵✵

1880’s, London.

Everyone in Blackwell knows there’s something wrong with The Charlemont. The cast speaks to a boy who lives in the rafters, the crew scrubs threats off the walls with practiced ease, and people have a habit of mysteriously vanishing… including the last stage manager.

Now the owners have brought in a new manager, James Graham, a young man who has no idea of what’s really going on. When an accident that leads to a stagehand’s death starts looking like sabotage, James is determined to find the culprit. The good news is, he has help: a skittish seamstress, an ice-cold diva, and a hostile Irishman. The bad news is, he’s pretty sure they know more than they’re letting on.

Unsolved murders, forbidden romance, power-hungry crime lords- with each thread that unwinds, a darker picture begins to unfold. The truth could have deadly consequences for them all.


#3

Yeah… not glorifying rape at all. It’s actually why I wrote the book in the first place. I’m sick of all those stories romanticizing stalking and kidnapping. It’s basically a story of a woman recanting her ten year stay in a human trafficking ring and what she had to do to survive. I just took the trope of the “millionaire” and wrote how it would actually be like.


#4

The blurb definitely has a mystery situation going on in it, however keep in mind that this may be due to a personal bias of mine, I didn’t find it particularly…interesting. To me at least, it seemed like a normal ordinary mystery book. Someone is murdered and the protagonist is trying to find the culprit. It’s the same formula essentially. Perhaps you can incorporate more features from your book?

Here is my blurb

Book: The Victim

"In the past 2 months alone, the number of unsuspecting men lured in by a currently unidentified woman and being castrated and having their penis cut off have increased to 21. Police are still not sure who the woman is or why- "

She threw her phone away in a fit and watched as it hit the wall and cracked.

Unsuspecting men?
They make those vile creatures sound like innocent, helpless angels, she thought in anger.
.
.
.

A woman on a mission.

A man who has given up on life.

A police officer at his wits end.

Two women trying to avenge their lovers.

A woman with thrust into confusion.

And an innocent CEO dragged into the mess.

The question is :

Who is the Victim and Who is the Criminal ?

The answer depends on you.

@K_E_Francis I happened to notice that both our books touch upon similar themes(based on what you’ve mentioned in the thread) albeit in slightly different ways)


#5

I like the blurb, doesn’t give much and leaves the reader eager to know more.

Here’s mine:

Jonathan Caldwell is a young, arrogant and intelligent businessman who always aims high and will stop at nothing to reach his goal.

When a powerful army invaded his city, many thought he would step aside and act like nothing happened as long as his interests were safe and untouched, just like the others who fell under his same category.

What they didn’t know is that the cold, indifferent man they knew was someone else, someone who might save their city from it’s inevitable doom.


#6

I suppose it kind of tells what it’s about, but idk if its just me but I’m still lost. I like the name Jonathan Caldwell though, strong name.


Toxic Romance:

Set in Aernford, Devon, England. September 2018.

Shirley Carpenter née Jameson, met Joseph Carpenter when she was young, it was love at first sight, it was easy and instant sparks. Joseph used to be everything she needed in a man, until he started to forget about her. They were married and still he forgot she existed. He no longer went to her, to tell her his problems, he seemed like he was cheating… and then he was gone.

Norlan Merryweather loved his brother. He loved his brother the way one loves a sibling who is always there for him. But when his brother met a girl, they stopped being so close. Stuart no longer told him anything. Stuart became distant, distracted and secretive… and then he was gone.

Shirley and Norlan met each other in the darkest time of their lives. Each other’s temporary safe haven, each other’s late night call, each other’s toxicity.

Everything about their relationship went against her beliefs, but how could Shirley stop? The grief was too much, Norlan was addicting, and the mystery that shrouded her ex-husband and his late-brother was sucking her in…


#7

You have an awesome idea for your book and it definitely sounds like a good read! However, there are a couple grammar related mistakes that cause the blurb to become a little difficult to read because it doesn’t flow smoothly on the tongue&mind as you read along. However, other than that your blurb gives a perfect start as for what to expect when you read the book!

Here is my blurb from my book “The Intruder”:

Thalia Jones is the epitome of the term drop dead gorgeous.

Ever since she was little, her long lashes and delicate features have entranced people all across her small town of Destin, Florida. She was told at a very young age to be proud of who she was, and so using that advice to her advantage she eventually became the most popular girl in school. Never in Thalia’s life was there a dull moment, and for most people that would be considered a good thing.

To Thalia, though, it wasn’t. She didn’t want all the glam and glitter that came along with being popular and having good looks- fake friends, boys just wanting her for her looks, and favoritism from teachers. It especially didn’t help her case that her parents were filthy rich and everyone knew about it. Thalia Jones just wanted to be normal, but why was that so hard?

Enter Jasper Tedesco, your average American guy with a bad background.

Instantly, Thalia and Jasper are drawn to each other. He begins to make her feel like she is more than just a pretty face, which is exactly what she had wanted from the beginning. Only, she can’t help but feel as if she is getting herself intertwined with something far more sinister than just the guy of her dreams.

Is Jasper really who he says he is?


#8

I like this however it’s how the title and the blurb work together that intrigues me the most, who is this intruder and what’s his story,

My advice would be to make the first two paragraphs into one and just focus on the important aspects of Thalia’s character and maybe amp up the mystery aspect.

Here’s the blurb for Lamb’s Blood- any help would be appreciated

“You should know that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

On September 1st 2018 Jacob Quilty started a new position as an English teacher at an elite prep school in the affluent town of Green Hollow hoping to get away from his past. Yet he finds himself instantly captivated by the enigmatic and beautiful Blair Leigh who’s keeping a secret all of her own.

Six months later he’s arrested for murder

There are three sides to every story, his, hers and the truth. And everyone in Green Hollow has their own reason to keep secrets.


#9

I like it and give it 8/10. There’s a couple of things I would change.

I always find it a little clunky to read exact dates so I would change

to
Six months ago Jacob Quilty took up a new position as an English teacher at an elite prep school in the affluent town of Green Hollow, hoping to get away from his past.

I’d then change

to
Now he’s been arrested for murder.

I’m assuming he gets arrested for Blair’s murder? If so I think you should link the above sentence to the rest of the blurb by making it
‘arrested for her murder.’

The final paragraph is excellent.


Here’s my blurb for The Regulator, which is a science fiction murder mystery.

The M’Nean Ambassador is dead. Once tasked with his protection Commander Neylan Haas of the Admiralty’s Regulator Force now finds herself accused of his murder. On the run from her own people Haas takes shelter in the Lazaretto, a plague ravaged sector of Orionid space.

Surrounded by the pirates and smugglers she once hunted Haas must enlist the help of some unlikely allies to uncover the true reason for the M’Nean Ambassador’s murder, but in doing so she will uncover a long buried secret. One that has the power to plunge Orionid space in to all out war.


#10

Here’s my blurb for The City of Blood, a science fantasy with a twist a mystery and survival.

❝The East Quadrant will be shut down. Any humans who are still here will have no means of escape; we apologize for the inconvenience but it is to make sure that no FAILURES cross the border. ❞

Chalcedony has flourished under the rule of the Crystalline Cortex for over a thousand years - but with the death of their previous King, the mistakes made in the name of science and evolution, and finding any means to survive, who knows if that will last? The clock is ticking; can you beat time?


#11

You are supposed to rate the blurb above yours before posting your own.


#12

I’ll do that; thank you.


#13

In my opinion, this is a definite 10; I’m hooked! I’m gonna find your story and read it. Based on that, it sounds interesting. I wonder how Commander Haas will get through this and if she ends up finding the murderer.


#14

Glad you liked it. And Haas ends up with more than one corpse in the end. :wink:


#15

This is an interesting blurb. The beginning sentence really hooked me. I like that it was short and to the point!

Blurb for my new novel Breaking Black

What’s a special agent for the FBI and former army sniper to do when his long-time partner retires, his ex-girlfriend limits time with his son, and hipsters take over the world? Honestly, Agent Black wouldn’t mind a break, but a mysterious killer has other ideas. There’s no time for breaks in this murder investigation featuring a series of homicides, a new female partner, and the desperate hunt for justice.


#16

9 out of 10! It gave me a bit of the main guy and what to expect from the story (which sounds very interesting, by the way). Amazing work! :+1:

Here’s a blurb for my story Dead In My Mind

Schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder, otherwise known as multiple personality disorder; a perfect combination for a madman.
Well, that’s what Andrew is; a crazed serial killer with his split personality and only friend, Ed, being known as one of America’s most known killer, the Boogeyman.
Enter someone to mess up his work; Elizabeth Jenkins, a defense attorney that make the guilty seem innocent enough to avoid prosecution. Elizabeth is different than most people Andrew has met, however; she understands him on a level no one has been able to in a long time and will possibly be the first to discover his dark secret.
Caught between the humanity Elizabeth shows to him and the monster of his split personality, Andrew knows it’s only a matter of time before one of them has to go. Both options resulting in a death.


#18

Hi, there’s a Share Your Story thread pinned to the top of the category club board, please feel free to promote your story there. Please also read the club guidelines and first post of the Share threads for more details on advertising. Your post will be removed by a forum moderator shortly.

Thanks for understanding. :smiley:

Clarissa North

Club Ambassador


#20

Hi! :smile:

Alas, I’m going to have to remove your comment as you did not rate the blurb above you :slight_smile:

Please read the rules in the first post again before commenting :smile:

Post to be rated: #16

Thanks for understanding! :smile:

Kay - Community Ambassador :xkaydotx:


#21

8 out of 10! I think you get a pretty good look at what this book is going to be about without spilling to much of the story!


#22

8/10- reminds me of SPLIT. Definitely caught my interest. Some sentence restructuring could make it a bit stronger but very grabbing.

Below is my blurb:

Dylan Ronayne has struggled with a dark secret for his entire life-an almost uncontrollable urge to kill. But when the South Pacific military base he lives on is attacked with sarin gas, and the evacuation plane crashes on a remote island, that secret might be the thing that saves him.

As the five other army kids who survived the crash try to gather food and search for a way home, Dylan does his best to keep his distance. However, six-year-old David, the youngest survivor, looks up to Dylan and unwittingly becomes his responsibility. Having lost his little sister in the attack on the base, Dylan promises to keep David safe.

Soon, mercenaries arrive on the island, but the kids quickly discover they’re not there to rescue them- they’re there to kill them. What begins as a story of overcoming obstacles and hope soon turns into a tale of pure survival against carnal thirst, where the most dangerous predator on the island might be Dylan himself.