Post your book blurb and get it rated


#23

7/10 Fascinating, I like the concept. However, the only criticism I have for you is that there are too many minor details (i.e. numbers and specific terms) and not enough suspense added. It seems interesting, but I don’t feel quite compelled to read it just yet. Good blurb though, and I love the plot!

My blurb:

“Don’t fight back. Submit, and they’ll lead you right to the escape.”

~~

Athene Midori seemed to be the perfect child. Multilingual. Intelligent. Beautiful. Mannered. Sure, she did bad things, but she knew how to hide her sins. Her father, however, did not, and Athene had to pay the price for his mistakes.

Falling into a world unlike anything she had ever imagined; a place where kidnapping, prostitution, slavery, violence and murder were seen as normal; Athene must use her charm and intelligence to escape the terrifying reality of her life, and escape the man determined to shape her into his perfect killer.

And when the opportunity to leave and expose the entire organisation presents itself, will she take it? Knowing that if she stays she has the power to save countless more lives?


#24

Here’s my blurb for my book Breaking Eden.

Declan Payne isn’t your average multimillionaire CEO. He’s the owner of Pleasure in Payne, one of the worlds most profitable sex toy manufacturers. But underneath his poised, well mannered facade lies a sinister beast waiting to be released. And the moment he spots Eden the need to own her, in every way imaginable, consumes him. He’ll stop at nothing to claim what he believes is rightfully his.

Eden Burrows is a featured dancer at Harvey’s and couldn’t be happier. Only her days in the spotlight are numbered when she crosses paths with the stranger in room 6. What starts off as a routine job ends in betrayal and her imprisonment. Held against her will, Eden must over come her fear and fight to escape because, for her, dying is not an option.


#25

8/10

I think it’s a good start and gets right to the point.


#26

9/10
I really like how you include both points of view, and straight away let the reader know what kind of book it is. It’s often really hard to tell with thrillers what type it will be (the genre is so wide) and your blurb clears that up within the first few sentences.

Here’s my blurb for Fernguild:

How sure are you of your own name?

When a young woman begins work as a maid at Fernguild Hall - a curious house hidden amongst the moors of Northern England - she finds it filled with the strangest of things. But even stranger is the house’s owner, Francis Astor, and soon Hattie Withens begins to develop feelings she never realised she had. For the first time she is treated not just as a simple maid with a simple mind, but as the person she really is, and with his help she grows to love Fernguild’s safe boundaries and isolating surroundings.

Yet Fernguild Hall is a dangerous place, and as the accidents start to happen and winter closes in, Hattie finds herself doubting the smallest of things- even the one thing she never thought she could lose.

But she is safe at Fernguild; the Master loves her for the person she is, after all.

But is it the same person as she thinks?


#27

9/10

I love the blurb. I like how it just hooks you as soon as you start reading it. The story seems very interesting and new. It hints conflict and that’s what your reader needs to know before reading the first chapter! I would definitely read your story!

Here is mine.

Story: CROSSFIRE

The Mafia life isn’t easy.

When one attack on their shipment occurs, they realize that their is way more to it than just an attack.

Trying to figure everything out, Secrets will be revealed, bonds with be broken and a soulmates will be found.

But can this attack take everything the Sicilian Mafia has ever worked for?

A SERIES OF LIES. GAMES. SECRETS AND BETRAYAL.

No one is safe.
But who is behind the attacks?

“Keep your Friends Close but your enemies closer”

But it’s hard when you have no idea who the enemy is.

Nothing stays hidden forever.

All Rights Reserved
Copyright©️2018 by Salma Sharaf


#28

7/10 I love mafia stories so this one sticks out for me as something I would read. A little lower rating just because the blurb is rather vague and doesn’t draw the reader in as much as blurbs usually do. My advice would be to include mention of a character (or family or similar) just to get the reader more invested into the plot

Criminals Blurb:

“The criminals here are different from the movies. They have good in them, compassion, and love. This makes them even harder to kill.”

~~

Athene Midori was the ideal daughter; beautiful, intelligent, multilingual. She wasn’t perfect, but she knew how to hide her sins. However, her father did not, and Athene had to pay the price for his mistakes.

Thrown into a world unlike anything she had ever imagined; where kidnapping, prostitution, slavery, violence and murder were seen as normal; Athene must use her charm and intelligence to escape the terrifying reality of her life, and escape the man determined to shape her into his perfect killer.

And when given the opportunity to escape the violent depravity of her new life, will she take it? Knowing that if she stays she has the ability to save countless more lives?


#30

@TheNextFirst Hello! :smile:

Alas, I’m going to have to remove your comment as you did not rate the blurb above you. Please read the rules again in the first post before commenting again :smile:

Post to be rated: #28

Thank you for understanding!

Kay - Community Ambassador :xkaydotx:


#31

8.5/10 I do like the idea and how you worded it, however, it really isn’t something I’d read however it is not bad in any way. My only complaint is that in my personal opinion it is a bit generic, it doesn’t stand out that much. However, there is a lot a potential that could make this into a really outstanding story!


You never know when the world is about to change, but when it does… Stay dry

The world as we know has ended. A virus spread through water makes people lose their mind and drive them to hurt themselves, others and the world around them.

A small group of scientists have locked themselves in a research facility on the edge of the former city of Dortmund. 19-year-old Koda was brought to the facility by his parents and has lived there for the past 4 years. Completely isolated from the outside world. But one of the experiments failed, killing the researchers inside the facility. Now Koda is forced to flee the facility and face the ruins of the world.

Soon he joins a group of young survivors and together set out on a danger-filled quest through the abandoned world, searching for any sign of life. In their struggle for survival, they will desperately try and build a new civilization while also searching for a way to destroy the virus. To finally end it all.


#32

8/10… although this type of books is not my cup of tea but I find the description very interesting, it explains the story very well without giving away too much about it :slight_smile:

The Guardian Devil:

“She is loud, he is quiet.
She is colorful, he is black and white.
She is full of life, he is void of emotions.
Yet, they get along very well!
They are like… a match made in hell.”

When Mallory Cox, a young, famous singer gets attacked by an obsessed fan, her manager takes it upon himself to get a bodyguard to protect her.

Having to deal with Mallory’s rebellious behavior, he tries his best to search for the perfect bodyguard to cope with her, finally finding him in the form of an enigmatic man called Daniel Arthur.

Later, it turns out that the fan attack was the beginning to something bigger, something more dangerous than what they all thought.

For Mallory, Daniel was the padlock to her prison. But for Daniel, Mallory was the answer to unfold a secret he had paid a big part of his life to reveal it.

Between fighting for her life and trying to maintain her social image, Mallory struggles to keep up with all the shocking changes that she gets exposed to.

As for Daniel, his balance between solving the mystery he had thrown in and keeping Mallory out of the harm’s way becomes harder as more elements insert themselves in the situation, makes it more difficult to sustain.

Will they be able to overcome this mayhem without losing? Or will both of their lives will be changed beyond recognition?


#33

8.5/10 I really like the little poem at the start and the body of the blurb pulled me in. It made me think that maybe Daniel has something to do with the attack. Like maybe he was actually the obsessed fan all along


#34

Here’s the blurb for my book Breaking Eden that just hit 77K reads!

Full blurb:

Declan Payne isn’t your average multimillionaire CEO. He’s the owner of Pleasure in Payne, one of the worlds most profitable sex toy manufacturers. But underneath his poised, well mannered facade lies a sinister beast waiting to be released. And the moment he spots Eden the need to own her, in every way imaginable, consumes him. He’ll stop at nothing to claim what he believes is rightfully his.

Eden Burrows is a featured dancer at Harvey’s and couldn’t be happier. Only her days in the spotlight are numbered when she crosses paths with the stranger in room 6. What starts off as a routine job ends in betrayal and her imprisonment. Held against her will, Eden must over come her fear and fight to escape because, for her, dying is not an option.


#36

Hello! :smile:

Alas, I’m going to have to remove your comment. Asking people read your story, and/or providing a link, is considered self-advertising and is against Club Guidelines

If you would like feed back on your story, feel free to have a look at the Story Services club :smile:

You can also share your story in the Share a Story Club :smile:

Thank you for understanding!

FearHuntress
Community Ambassador


#37

I rate an 8.5 out of 10.


#38

Here is my description of my book “The Murder House”

Andie Thompson was new to London, she had just moved there from Oklahoma. She didn’t want to move but her father got a new job forcing them to move. Since it was still summer she decided to explore her new home. She came upon an eerie looking house and before she tried to get get a better look she was stopped by a boy named Evan. She became curious about the house and decided to do research. What she finds out is something that should have been left buried. Now there is someone after her…or something…