Hello lovely people,
So I had some time to mull over which parts of the story need changing vs where to amend the query. Most of the query works still but there are few more questions in my head, I hope I can pick your brains for these. I agree the last sentence needs to be more about other people’s lives for it to be compelling so I am introducing a small layer to the plot but do you think the last line in the query works as a choice? Is it strong enough?
Also, I have a conundrum - there are two police people in this book - one who doubts Alice and the other who is more supportive of Alice. How do I change that part in first para (she is labeled a suspect because she isn’t quite a full on suspect). Argh, me and my confusion!
Once again, thank you so much for all your help. I am humbled by how helpful people are on this forum.
After a harsh childhood in foster care, Alice Bennett suffers from murky memory gaps and terrible migraines. Despite this, she’s managed to put together a semi-stable adult life. With her nurse’s job in the NHS and a tiny flat in East London, things are looking up. If her drunken neighbour would just stop abusing her cats, then maybe her headaches would improve too.
When Alice returns home to discover the loudmouth murdered, the police label her a suspect. Odd occurrences and victims mount, throwing increasing suspicion on her. Yet Alice is convinced that someone is shadowing her, and this stalker is the killer. Wondering how she lost five years of memories and gained a deadly Midas touch where anyone connected to her becomes a corpse, she turns to her biological mother, resident of Wakefield prison, for answers. As usual Alice gets nothing from the encounter. But shortly after, her Mum gets something - (her throat sliced) courtesy of the Shadow.
Now, Alice can keep running forever or she must unlock the hidden truths from the dingy gutters of her past and stop the Shadow from slaying innocent mothers.