Rate! That! Blurb!

Welcome to Rate That Blurb! I’m your host, Laila, your resident average-to-below-average blurb writer.

The rules are simple:

  1. Rate the blurb above yours on a scale of 1 (needs work) to 5 (perfection), and then give feedback on why you chose your rating. Please offer suggestions for improvement if you can.
  2. In that same comment, post the title of your story and your own blurb (1 blurb per comment, please! You can rate a new blurb if you’d like to post another of your story blurbs)
  3. You can offer feedback on other previous blurbs as well by tagging that person, but it is required to rate the blurb directly before you.
  4. Please do not argue ratings or critiques. This is all subjective and people aren’t all going to have the same opinion. A 1 does not mean bad. A 1 simply means it needs more work in their opinion.
  5. It’ll be super cute if you all sign off your comment with “Rate! That! Blurb!” But I totally won’t make you :joy:

Ready? I’ll start!


Title: Distortion

Blurb: Ariella’s relationship with her boyfriend is a rollercoaster. When it’s good, it’s great, but when it’s bad, it’s hell. After a fight escalates further than it ever has, she comes across a flier for a peculiar new clinic in town. They offer to seamlessly implant artificial memories as a way to remember experiences without ever having lived them.

Though advertised for entertainment purposes, Ariella sees this as a quick fix to replace the low point in her relationship. But the man behind the new procedure never meant for it to be used in place of recovery.

In Ariella’s mind, why work to recover from something when you can just erase it?

Rate! That! Blurb!

I’ll give it a 4, almost perfect, maybe a little long for me :smiley:

Here’s mine:

Title: Darkest Design

Blurb: Several centuries after Earth’s colonization by aliens, a young man tries to survive in an oppressive world that kills him slowly. Meanwhile, a family struggles to survive through a deadly night for all its members, when their home is attacked by machines.

Secrets are yet to be unveiled, and truth to be told.

Rate! That! Blurb!

3 Likes

Rating: 4/5

OMG. That’s one of the best ideas based on the ONC prompt about the memory transplants :smiley:
The blurb is catchy, but maybe it needs more work.


Silent Hill: Angel

Axel, Angel, and Averel Hellwick are on a dangerous journey to search for their parents, whom they completely lost contact with since their departure to the ghost town of Silent Hill.

Entering this town is easy. It’s getting the hell out of it is the hard part.

In Silent Hill, each of the Hellwicks will trigger a nightmare of their own creation–and, of all of them, Angel’s nightmare is the worst. Man-eating dogs, creepy crawling mannequins, and a bulky monster with a giant axe are just the first of the terrors born from his deepest, darkest thoughts.

Angel’s been keeping a secret from his family, and, in this town which feeds off fear and agony, it may very well kill them all.

Follow the Hellwicks as they discover what twisted world is hidden in Silent Hill… the hard way.

Now… Rate! That! Blurb! :wink:

3 Likes

Is this a Silent Hill original story :heart_eyes: ?

4/5, loved the blurb, but again I go mostly for shorter ones :smiley:

2 Likes

Rating: 2/5

Needs more work. It has potential, but you might want to write a bit more detailed blurb.

2 Likes

Oh thanks for the feedback :slight_smile:

3 Likes

I think we already know what I think of your blurb ;
:wink: But 4/5! I think its great!

The Wolf and the Crow:

In the land of Haerothos, the practice of Black Magic and Necromancy has been dead for centuries - or at least, that’s what everyone thought. A Sorcerer and a Necromancer come together to create the ultimate weapon; undead creatures that can’t be slain by the mere slash of a sword or pierce of an arrow.

After an attempt to make peace fails between the Kingdoms of Haerothos, a Sorcerer named Sylas, who was sent by his Leader to negotiate the treaty; Aetanya, a young woman who was forcefully taken from her home by Rythor, a heinous and merciless King; and Kai, a soldier who struggles with doing the right thing and risking the lives of himself and his family, or following orders; flee the Kingdom with a hope to escape the wrath of King Rythor.

Heading to the coastline to escape to mysterious lands across the sea, they discover the undead, who are slaughtering all they cross - and heading straight to the heart of Haerothos. With a bounty placed on them, will they risk everything to warn the people, travel to far away lands in order to preserve their own lives, or take it upon themselves to battle the creatures alone?

3 Likes

Yes! Yes, it is! :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:
OMG. I just get so excited to meet another SH fan :heart::sob:

2 Likes

Yes. Lol. And thanks again for the help :wink::heart:

2 Likes

So am I :smiley:
I cannot see it and ignore it, I’ll have to read it :smiley:

2 Likes

4/5! Love the idea! Of the memories! I seen that in ONC and it was one of the ideas that caught my attention! Unfortunately I ended up missing the deadline but :joy:

2 Likes

Yay. Thank you! I hope you like it :heart_eyes:

2 Likes

So do I :smiley:
What’s your favorite SH entrance?

2 Likes

I would say 3/5, in my opinion there’s too much detail to make it easy to read, but the story idea looks really good, I’ll check it out. :smiley:

Here’s mine :grimacing: :

Frey Altra’pua is a determined, over-eager humanologist who hates seeing humans afraid.
Snarky Alex T’Nadea is the best field agent Secret Societ #447 has.
When Freya disobeys orders from her boss, grabs Alex -a legendary agent but total stranger- and heads to Earth without permission to ‘save’ humanity from CoVID-19… well, what could go wrong?

The answer is alot.

*winces * Rate! That! Blurb!

3 Likes

By entrance you mean “game”?

I know a lot of people say it’s overrated, but I really liked SH 2. Mainly because of the shock I felt after learning about James’ true personlity.

What about you?

2 Likes

I think this is really interesting. I’m not sure if some of the words you have capitalized should be (such as black magic), but I think it’s an interesting blurb.

4/5

After a mugging gone wrong, Hannah is left with brain damage and broken pieces of her former life. Everything she once cherished slipped away in the blink of an eye. Years later, she’s still picking up the pieces and trying to come to terms with the fact that her old life is one she’ll never get back. Not the former love of her life or her ability to write out a sentence or read a good book. Not the strength she once had to run a marathon or her ability to speak without stumbling over the words or forgetting them completely. The woman she was is gone forever and Hannah is forced to live with constant reminders surrounding her day to day life.

Desperate for change, Hannah takes her former best friend from high school up on a offer to move in with her across the county and start a new life. It’s the second scariest thing she’s ever gone through, but Hannah knows the only chance of living her life is to give up trying to fix the old one that she’ll never truly be able to mend.

When she arrives, however, Hannah immediately realizes she’s made a terrible mistake. This part of the city doesn’t fit someone like her and she’s ready to turn around before her bags are even out of the car. Until she meets her friend, Meggie’s, boss.

David is southern, muscular and, according to Meggie, a grade A prick. But the brooding bar owner seems to have a soft spot for Hannah and is determined to show her that the choice she made to move here wasn’t the wrong one and will do whatever it takes to get her to stay.

Suddenly her second chance at life is becoming more than she imagined and as Hannah gets to know David, she begins to wonder if that second chance at life comes with a second chance at love.

2 Likes

3/5, it sounds like it would be an interesting story but I would make it a bit more clearer that they aren’t on Earth! Just cause (at least I do) assume they’re already on Earth and then it’s like oh, wait, they arent? But other than that it’s good!

1 Like

You know how much I love your story, right :smiley:

I just want to say something about the last sentence of the first paragraph, I have a problem with the ‘mere’, because to me it has a connotation of… lightness? You know, like in ‘merely’ that’s a synonym to ‘barely’…

Or maybe I’m just misunderstanding things :slight_smile:

1 Like

I think more can be added to his blurb. I’d like to get a feel for the character’s a bit better and the whole thing feels a bit rushed.

3/5

Sorry! You posted while I was leaving feedback for the one above you!

2 Likes

Ooo yeah I didn’t think of that, thank you!

2 Likes