Rate the BLURB!

I haven’t seen one of these posts reserved exclusively for blurbs in a while…I’m sure they got buried beneath other threads. Anyway, rate the blurb above from 1-10 and provide DETAILED feedback. Provide as much feedback as you would like to receive on your own blurb. Also, if you honestly don’t like the blurb, don’t feel bad about saying so, but make sure to keep things professional. :slight_smile:

Here’s mine to start…

Death makes all men sentimental. But not Emyr Yorath, a native Bryngaerdian with a painful past and an even darker future. In Cledwyn, a land wrought with all number of mythical creatures and ancient blood feuds, sin is death. Emyr faces a similar fate before he is offered a unique chance at redemption: The Split, a physical separation of the body and soul. But Emyr doesn’t have time to waste. Hunted by his former Brothers, haunted by his heinous crime, Emyr’s life hangs in the balance. On a perilous journey across the Holy Alps, Emyr will be forced to confront his sins and evade all who want him dead.

The question is, does Emyr deserve to live after what he’s done?

Happy writing, everyone!

8/10. Love the mystery element.

She’s his blooming flower. She needs her water and sunshine to thrive and blossom into something beautiful. He’s willing to do whatever it takes for her sunshine and water to come, because all he wants is for her to bloom.

He’s simple, optimistic, smart, sweet, and somewhat naive.

She’s pessimistic, sarcastic, intelligent, blunt, and senses bull crap from a mile away.

But, most importantly, they’re best friends. Together, they spark the world’s envy with the happiness and color that explodes from their presence.


Being best friends, Ashwini Balakrishnan and Manish Chauhan have celebrated through the best and been there for each other at the worst. After years of friendship, with Ashwini going to medical school with the dreams of becoming an intensivist, nothing seems to stand in their way of staying best friends and riding through life together.

However, when Manish accepts a job offer, thousands of miles away, Ashwini’s plans for the future start to look bleak when she realizes Manish may not be as present anymore. In a last minute attempt to solidify their friendship, Ashwini vows to spend as much time as she can with Manish before the sun stops shining in her life.

With her other best friend, Jen, by her side, Ashwini is confident that the last few weeks with Manish are enough to make their friendship impactful. However, when she runs into roadblocks such as Manish’s jealous sister, Isha, and her preparations to go to medical school, Ashwini realizes that giving her friendship with Manish one last push is going to be more difficult than she thought.

As the clock ticks, realizations surface, and the tension layers. With each day that passes comes a new opportunity for the push to come. But there’s only so much time that one has to convey what is needed.

8/10 I really like it in my opinion! It’s a little confusing to have all these terms thrown at you. Maybe you could simplify the blurb some? I also think it needs to be shortened a little; you don’t want to give away to much information about what happens in the book probably.

These are just my opinions, don’t feel like you need to make any changes if you don’t agree with what I said. :grin:

Here is my blurb, which I am still not happy with, but maybe someone can give me some suggestions for how to improve it. Yvette’s life takes an unexpected turn when she finds an unknown man in the forest, and the two of them kindle a relationship. When the many secrets between them are finally revealed will they still end up together? But first they both have to survive, and that is definitely going to be difficult. Wysteria takes you for a wild ride through drama, adventure, and heartbreak.

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Ooops, it seems while I was typing my reply someone already answered… :laughing:

I like it.

There’s solidness that shows confidence. One critique would be that there are too many fantasy terms. They throw off a bit.

Other than that, it’s good!

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7/10

First of all, this seems like a really long blurb to me. I prefer them on the shorter side. I would suggest shortening it some.

These are just my opinions, don’t feel like you need to make any changes if you don’t agree with what I said. :grin:

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Are you replying to my blurb or @LaurenLuu’s ?

Ah no. To OP.

Haha, okay that makes more sense. :smile:

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Your blurb would definitely benefit from the inclusion of specifics. We know the MC meets a strange man, they both have secrets but its a romance, and there is something dangerous. Don’t be afraid that by including more information, you’ll somehow spoil the book. What are the earliest sources of danger? What makes the MC interesting/someone we’ll care about? What is the nature of the secrets they are hiding? What early choice does she face/what does she stand to loose? Just in general, what interesting details can you add to make your book stand out from other books with a similar basic premise (romance+secrets+danger)?


One thousand years ago, the island of Avernus was catapulted into the skies. Now it might come crashing back down.

After seven years in prison, Vox returns home to find she no longer has one. Her father dead and their house in ashes, Vox has a choice; spend the rest of her days in mindless drudgery in the slums, or burn it all to the ground. Armed with the power to control pain and swept up in the fires of revolution, she learns exactly what depths she’ll sink to in order to expose the corruption that plagues the high-tiers.

Wyn is the son of the most infamous murderer of the century. Conscripted by the church due to his gift of magic, Wyn returns to a city that hates him. Determined to win back his family’s honor, he must hone his talent for speaking to the dead to find an assassin hunting the nobility. Wyn’s search leaves him tangled in a coil of lies stretching back centuries and a secret that may just tear apart a city that’s already crumbling.

Okay, thanks. I didn’t want to give away the plot of the book, but I will try to add some more details in!

I just realized I posted my first draft of my blurb… :joy:

Here is my revised blurb. If anyone could give me feedback that would be great! :smiley:
Enjoying a midnight walk was not supposed to lead to racing through the woods towards the infirmary. Of course, with Yvette’s luck, this is exactly what happens. Yvette’s life takes an unexpected turn when she finds Jackson in the forest. The determined, compassionate young woman and stalwart town deputy grow close, but Yvette is keeping secrets that could change everything. As Yvette seeks answers to her inner turmoil, Jackson is entangled in a dangerous dispute over town borders. As he struggles to end the fighting other forces are at work. Is everything really as it seems, or is it all an illusion?

9/10 Loved it! There is one confusing part I pointed out. Excuse me while I now find this book on your profile and add it to my reading list. Ooh, I hope it is posted and not a current work in progress. Edit: It’s not posted and now I am very sad. You made me really want to read it. :rofl: I hope it is posted soon!

These are just my opinions, don’t feel like you need to make any changes if you don’t agree with what I said. :grin:

Most of the time Elliot appears to be an extraordinarly boring teenager. That’s only one side of his life though. The other one takes place around full moon and has him transform into a demonic creature that kills everything it comes across, a secret he’s been hiding since he was a kid.
But that’s not his only problem.

Just when his life reaches the ultimate point of suckage, Elliot succeeds at making his first friend ever and together they get launched into a year filled wiht turbulent and dangerous adventures that will shape him for the rest of his life.

There’s really only one thing that’s bothering me: some repetitions of the MC’s name. I think you could replace it with ‘her’ a few times without it being confusing.
For example:

Enjoying a midnight walk was not supposed to lead to racing through the woods towards the infirmary. Of course, with her luck, this is exactly what happens.

Yvette’s life takes an unexpected turn when she finds Jackson in the forest. The determined, compassionate young woman and stalwart town deputy grow close, but Yvette is keeping secrets that could change everything. As she seeks answers to her inner turmoil, Jackson is entangled in a dangerous dispute over town borders. As he struggles to end the fighting, other forces are at work. Is everything really as it seems, or is it all an illusion?

That’s just my take on it though, hope it was helpful!

Would give it an 9/10. Really has me hooked and curious, would love to read it!

Thanks, yeah I didn’t notice that but I definitely see what you are saying. :smile: It’s posted on my profile. :laughing:

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I know :slight_smile: , went to look and added it to my reading list, will see when I have time to actually read it though x_x.

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Thanks, yeah I have quite a few book piled up that I am planing on reading. :laughing:

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relate XD

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