Rate you book blurb!

Basically the same rules… rate the one above your 1 out of 10 then comment yours. Lets see how long this can get.

I’ll go first.

Here’s my blurb from my book Breaking Eden

Declan Payne isn’t your average multimillionaire CEO. He’s the owner of Pleasure in Payne, one of the worlds most profitable sex toy manufacturers. But underneath his poised, well mannered facade lies a sinister beast waiting to be released. And the moment he spots Eden the need to own her, in every way imaginable, consumes him. He’ll stop at nothing to claim what he believes is rightfully his.

Eden Burrows is a featured dancer at Harvey’s and couldn’t be happier. Only her days in the spotlight are numbered when she crosses paths with the stranger in room 6. What starts off as a routine job ends in betrayal and her imprisonment. Held against her will, Eden must over come her fear and fight to escape because, for her, dying is not an option.

2 Likes

6/10

The writing itself is good with only a couple grammatical mishaps here and there and overall, the blurb IS good. My rating comes into with the content of the blurb. It sounds more like a horror/thriller than a romance. It sounds like, and I’m not sure if this is your intention or not, but it sounds like Declan kidnaps and enslaves her… lol Since he for some unknown reason thinks that this chick is rightfully his (what an asshole) and then you say in the end of the blurb that she is imprisoned, it makes it sound like hes the one who’s obsessed and kidnaps her. If this is what goes down, then fine, but labeled as a romance? Not so much. lol

Here’s mine from Behind Closed Curtains:

Acting is Leah Johnson’s escape from a painful reality. Very painful.

Twenty-one-year-old Leah Johnson’s world has become rather isolated since she started dating Zach three years ago. He likes it that way because then the focus is on him, and if her attention to him wavers, his fists are quick to refocus her. Leah hides to survive, hides the bruises and her shame and relishes in those fleeting moments when she’s on stage and deep within the mind of another character. Those are the rare seconds where she feels safe; a feeling that’s become all but foreign to her.

Yet, issues arise when one of her charming co-stars, Kaleb not only has too keen an eye to Leah’s bruises but also stirs something inside of Leah that she had pushed so far down over the years she thought it had disappeared entirely.

Hope for a Zach free future.

But Zach isn’t the type to let go of something that he believes belongs to him. In fact, he’s willing to kill to keep it.

1 Like

This helps me to really feel a connection to the characters. It doesn’t give too much away, just enough for you to feel like each person in the book is going to be fleshed out and relatable. It’s a great length (that’s what she said) and it perfectly written.

10/10

Life, Love And A Little Coffee

With only a month left of high school, barista and student Ada Sinclair prepares herself for the next chapter of her life; her dream college and a fresh start that doesn’t put labels on everything she is.

But Ada’s ordinary life is shaken to the core when her mother returns home with a diagnosis - one that will change their lives forever. As she tries to hold it together for those around her, she seeks comfort from the man who has mentored her throughout the last four years - Mr. Bennet.

Tom Bennet has watched Ada grow from a timid and self-loathing girl, to a confident woman, ready to take on the world. But when Ada comes to him with a struggle she cannot face alone, he puts his career on the line for a friendship Ada desperately needs.

As the two grow closer, lines are crossed and boundaries are broken. He opens her eyes and shows her there’s so more to life than a good grades and playing everything by the book; It’s about making your own rules as you go along.

Learn to accept help.

Love as much as you can for as long as you can.

Maintain sanity and keep caffeinated.

2 Likes

This sounds so interesting…like a forbidden love between student and teacher or something (this is my assumption, of course). Blurb kinda pulls you in immediately, makes you want to know more about this story. Three sentences at the very end are kinda intriguing. Good job.

Runaway

The part of the summary, written at the cover:
“And you thought “I have to go and find peace”. And you came here. But pain exists even here…in paradise, under the bright Florida sun. You can’t run away from it.”

Summary under the cover:
She had to run away from everything. Simple as that. Nikki felt like she was stuck in Seattle, with all these negative feelings.
What she didn’t know was that running from one problem would get her in another. This time much bigger, with much stronger feelings.

You assumed correctly, though nothing happens between them until a week before graduation.

1 Like

8/10. This summary gives us an insight of a girl’s mind, and life. It shows that she is trying to run away from her problems, without knowing what awaits ahead. It’s a short, and precise blurb, which is absolutely enough to catch reader’s attention. Good job on building the anticipation.

Here’s mine. Although it might be long.

Title: Undying Love

Summary-

Is meaning of love same for all?

When the love of his life is set to be married against her wishes, Aditya Sinha has no choice, but to go to a small village Unnao. The villagers seem hell-bent on teaching Rohini a lesson for falling in love. In Aditya’s eyes, there’s only one way out for Rohini: Run away with him to escape their clutches and narrow-minds.

While trying to leave the place, he comes across two men - Amit, and Aamir. They help the couple to get away from illiterate, heartless and narrow-minded villagers. Although, he has his own doubts about the two, he still follows their lead with no other option.

Having to put their fate in the hands of two shady strangers, Aditya comes to know about a tale that changes all of his beliefs and perspective about the concept of love.

What’s the story that changed his viewpoint? Will he be able to get all his answers? And will he be able to go to Delhi safely? It’s a tale where decisions taken by people will change the direction of their lives. It’s a journey that will test a man’s patience; and will change the sense of what’s right, and what’s wrong.

1 Like

7/10

It’s very informative about the plot, which is great. The summary does a great job of showing us the despair of Aditya and Rohini, and the lengths they are willing to take for love.

However, I would stray away from repeating the term narrow-minded in regards to the villagers, as well as maybe not using so many adjectives about them. Personally, instead I would explain what “the lesson” could be - what are the stakes. Would they be killed? would they be in prison? torn apart from each other? also - why?

A few very minor grammar issues, e.g.

Is meaning of love same for all?

Should be is the meaning of love same for all?

All in all - I would read this!

Mine:

Reverse
Amy’s has always been the sensible one - until she wasn’t. Quitting her career as a surgeon to open a coffee shop seemed like a huge step - but when Eli, a mysterious man with a knife wound, stumbles into the cafe on a fateful Tuesday night, she has to reevaluate what chances is she willing to take.

Neither of them are what they seem on the surface - in this tale of danger and longing, will they manage to stick around long enough to discover the hidden truths?

1 Like

7/10

Your summary is, instead of several paragraphs, two run-on sentences. Maybe split them up with dots instead of hyphens.


The Bad Boy Mage
Destruction, chaos, and blood. No matter how much Abigail to tried to run or tried to hide her true nature, it has always found a way to consume her life.

It will no longer be suppressed.

In a fit of anger, Abigail lost it all in a matter of moments. Now, on the run and cornered like a rat, a boy with piercing white eyes and abilities similar to her’s comes to her rescue, offering her a new life, a new beginning. Left with little choice, she takes Blake’s offer.

Unfortunately, his offer comes with a price. Cocky, arrogant, and frustratingly good looking, Blake is a constant annoyance while Abigail adjusts to Salzor and the Pasith Academy for Magic. To make matters worse, her struggles catches the unbeating heart of Victor Lamar, a lost vampire prince and forever second to Blake.

Yet Abigail’s life isn’t as simple as attempting to control her powers while swatting away these two pests; the numbers of demons are growing, seeking control. A threat forcing Abigail, Blake, and Victor to come together and face it head on.

If only it were that simple.

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Thank you so much for the detailed feedback! I’ll definitely see to those things! :smile:

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Thank you for the comment, I’ll be sure to do that!

@FireAlwaysReturns 7.5 - 8 It’s very good. You are letting the readers know a little more but yet a little less and it’s an appropriate mix of teasing and getting readers interested. I like it :slight_smile:

Confetti In My Hair
In the midst of a beautiful dream where I was shopping with Chris Evans, I could hear loud banging on a door. I groaned and woke up in my nearly sleepy state only to look at the clock to realize it’s 0200 hours and I was imagining all that knocking. I tried to go back to my dream so I could go bikini shopping with him, but the knocks got louder and frequent.
‘Ugh. What the hell ! Who could it be at this ungodly hour?’, I thought waking up.

“I know you’re in there Bianca. You little vixen. Open the door or I’ll wake up this whole goddamn building!” I could hear some guy shouting. ‘Who the hell is Bianca? More importantly how did he even get in?’

I grabbed a knife and pepper spray while walking slowly towards the door on which that guy was still knocking loud enough to wake up the entire hotel. I looked through the peep-hole and opened the door to reveal a very drunk and a very formally dressed Alex Greyson. Stupid piece of cartoon!

“Are you crazy?? Who is Bianca? I am NOT her! What do you want at 2 freaking a.m in the morning?” I whisper-yelled at this drunk idiot wondering how he even got here?

“Cute PJs, strangeerrr…”, he slurred before leaning forward in my direction and passed out.

1 Like

Er… is this your summary?

Yes. I wanted to try a new way of putting up a blurb.

Many people turn away if the summary is a part of the book, and even more if it’s a dialogue.

I agree that if the WHOLE blurb is just text from the book, it’s not a good way of selling people your book. One way I’ve seen it done is to have a small excerpt from the book if you think that bit summarises the book well, or it’s funny, or anything like that, but it’s important to have a bit of an actual summary to describe what the whole content of the book is about (: You can see that’s how I’ve done it my blurb, and I’ve seen it a lot on Wattpad too.

Hence I’m going to give it 2/10 – it’s not badly written, but a summary is very important for a blurb ^^

Here’s my blurb for the next person (: :

"You know…" Sky started, and he could hear her making his way closer to him. "Having your back turned to someone makes you very defenceless."

As she said this, she ran her fingers up vertically along his back, causing him to gasp in surprise and turn around to protect his back from her touch. In doing so, he once again came face-to-chest with Sky, though this time was relatively less appropriate; he closed his eyes immediately.

“You’re so innocent,” she chuckled in amusement as she took a couple of steps back.

“Like you aren’t? I can imagine you’d rather wrestle a half-naked guy than sleep with him,” he retorted, eyes still firmly shut.


Sky Simmons may be tall, but she is far from delicate. Much like her name, she’s as unpredictable and dangerous as the sky can be. Growing up with access to anything she wants, except for the love of her parents, is what led her down this undesirable path.

Upon the request of a family friend, Mason Evans appears on the scene, and you can see this side of hers begins to get much worse. With Mason’s parents initially asking Sky’s parents to take the boy in to finish his studies in England with the intent of paying all the expenses, her parents decline. Instead, they ask that he try and straighten out their daughter.

Grateful to have the chance to get it all for free, Mason agrees, but being a head shorter than Sky kind of leaves doubt as to whether he can have any authority over her. Will it turn out to be more than he signed up for?

**(For anyone rating my blurb, you can avoid the text bit and just use the summary at the bottom – I just included the excerpt as an example here) ^-^ **

okay you guys. thanks. I have taken your suggestions into consideration. I will change it soon

No worries! Good luck with it :smiley:

1 Like

I would give it a 6/10, I feel like I got an understanding of your main character’s personality and a bit of the plot to peak some interest, however I don’t know who Mason is and what kind of correlation he has with Sky other than I think he’s supposed to make her into a better person in exchange for his education? Why would Mason’s parents be asking Sky’s parents to take him in especially if Sky is as wild described? What about Mason makes her parents think that he could make her into a better person?

Here is my blurb for Words We Can’t Say:

25 year-old Emma Evans is a failure. She flunked out of college, cooking dinner for herself is a struggle, her parents only speak in snide remarks, and she just got dumped. Again. The only two people with any faith in her is her brother, Matt, and her best friend, Peyton.

Then she meets her new neighbor, Noah Hudson, a 28 year-old architect assistant who seemingly has his life figured out. So she asks him for help point blank. And to her surprise, he agrees but only if he can get a favor in return. The agreement quickly turns to friendship and one night Emma starts to realize that it may be materializing into more. But when his past makes him disappear and leave her stranded will she be willing to place her trust in him again? Or will this be another addition to her list of failures?

2 Likes

6/10
My reasoning is this. I’m not certain if your character is meant to be portrayed as so needy. I’m not sure if you are going for someone who’s just at a low point in her life and just needs some support, or something else. It sounds a lot like a set up for some serious domestic abuse, her being so needy and focusing everything on one guy. Especially, with that ‘favor’ added in. I’m having a hard time reading it as anything but a set up for some sort of emotional abuse.
I’m also getting the impression that she is emotionally unstable and perhaps that’s why I’m jumping on to the abuse train.
If that’s not what you are going for perhaps add things that are positives. She’s a failure but she has a strong will even though she flunked out ect. Something like that.
However, if you are going in the abuse direction in the story. Bravo.

This is mine.
A young college student gets killed and accidentally saves the world. As thanks a group of gods decide to give him a second life. They send him to Elrich, a world with monsters, demons, and where adventures await. However, he is met with several obstacles just in his first week. His goddess liaison is a bit of an airhead and messed up his reincarnation. On his first day he nearly gets killed again. There are multiple political powers that may try to manipulate him, and he doesn’t know who he can trust. He gets pulled into some serious situations that result in death. It just hasn’t been a good week. What sort of place awaits him in this harsh land full of danger and uncertainty and can he make a home out of this new world?

I also have a disclaimer for the obvious reasons.
This story has LGBTQ friendly themes. It touches on drug use, child molestation, rape, children committing murder, death sentencing as a form of punishment, and questioning one’s sexual identity. There are some harsh themes, since this is meant to be a harsh world. Some themes touch upon the MC directly, the others happen to secondary characters. I try not to go into too graphic of detail and I believe that this story is 16+ friendly. I promise that these themes tie together in the end to make a cohesive whole and are used to provide back story for later developments.

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Thanks for the feedback! I didn’t think about that perspective but reading back I can definitely see how it reads that way and certainly not the direction of where I plan on taking the characters and novel so seriously thank you!

1 Like