Rate Your chicklit Blurb!

Because I’ve noticed how scanty the Chicklit Forum section is, I decided let’s liven it up a bit!

Rate the blurb above yours and have your blurb rated.

I’ll start:

To New York’s Attorney

How far will are you willing to go for loyalty?

Christina Gresham is officially in Lawyers’ hell. Just when she thought she’d escaped the past, it found her. That same ugly past that believed her father murdered her twin brother.

Everyone makes bad decisions, Christina Gresham’s worst just happens to go by the name of Barron Harrington, the gorgeous storm grey-eyed detective that’s determined to accost her father for the murder of a well-known author and economist.

Christina would die before she lets her sixty-something-year-old father serve time for a murder he didn’t commit. That doesn’t mean she’s willing to put an end to the hot and sizzling nights with the head of the NYPD task force.

Detective Harrington however, has other plans. Following the murder of his father, the lead detective on the Lawrence Harrington case, Barron is convinced Terrence Gresham orchestrated the assassination. And it wasn’t as if the evidence told him otherwise.

Christina never considered risking her career for her father, risking the law for him–after all, she’d partially believed the story ten years ago. Barron is willing to use this to win his case, he’s willing to play anyone to avenge his father’s gruesome murder.

It’s a good blurb. You give readers a glimpse of the conflict and tensions as well as the attraction between the H and h. This summary shows many elements of a classic romance novel. Both a hero and heroine pov, a big conflict of interest between the h and H. But it is unclear if he is just a foil to her getting what she wants/needs or if the main thrust (no pun intended) is their relationship. The summary also has elements of legal thriller. I love mash-ups, so I’m intrigued. (I also am curious about why her father keeps getting accused of murdering people and wow! So much conflict of interest all around!)

This part is a little unclear. The clause beginning “the lead detective” is following “father” so it sounds as if his father was the lead detective? But he’s also a well-known author and economist?

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Thanks so much for this feedback it means the world to me :heart_eyes::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

No prob.

I understand and I’ll fix it

I would rate 7/10 from this blurb. I think you have a great story and I think you explain the premise of your story really well in this blurb. The only issue I found is how the way things are worded/ the sentences could be written differently to sound smoother and more appealing to readers. You never want to bombard them with too much info before the story begins. I’m not a very good editor so I can’t help much, but I would recommend getting an editor to tweak your blurb a little bit just so it will be a little more smoother and grammatically better. Overall, it’s something I would for sure read.

†bad boys with wicked tongues and acid are never a good idea, but who said they had to be†

Edgar Allen is a prestigious university for the elite with a reputation of forming ruthlessness from a young age. Pretty rich boys bloom in the environment, tearing all those apart that threaten them; they’re made for violence and greed. Saint Minston knows that as a fact, it doesn’t stop her for falling for one of them.

This isn’t a bad blurb. It definitely gets the point across, but it doesn’t have much punch to it. I’ve read blurbs like this a dozen times. You need to put in the hook that makes your story worth picking over others.

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All myths skew the truth…

From the age of five, Hades was imprisoned and tortured at the hands of his father, the Titan King. Every night he’d dream of freedom and the chance to seek his revenge. When Zeus saved him and their four siblings and declared war on the Titans, Hades thought his father’s days were numbered.

Ten years later, Hades fears Cronus won’t face the consequences for his vile nature. The gods are struggling to maintain their early momentum. Lately, they lose more battles than they win. Morale is low, and many of their allies have abandoned them for the opposite side.

The Fates propose a way for the gods to topple the Titans once and for all, and though apprehensive, Hades embraces the opportunity. His rash decision takes him to the Underworld to join forces with Kore, the Daemon Queen.

Kore despises Cronus as much as the gods. She wants nothing more than to watch him suffer, and for the gods to reign in a new era. For ten years, she’s offered her assistance, and each time she’s been turned away. Finally, Zeus pushes Kore too far, and she vows to leave the gods to their inevitable demise.

Her conviction doesn’t last long when Hades appears, begging for her help. Against her Council’ wishes and her own good sense, Kore agrees to lead Hades through her home, Tartarus, to search for the Hecatoncheires—the gods’ only hope to destroy Cronus.

Their journey pushes them to their limits, in both body and mind. Along the way, their hearts get tangled in the mix; a more dangerous dilemma than defeating the Titans. For if they survive, to remain together, they may have to battle both the Underworld and Upperworld.

  1. Sounds like you have a good idea for a setting and a hero and heroine, but I can’t really tell what the story is about. What does Saint want? And what is preventing her from getting it?
  2. Not sure but maybe this is more a romance novel rather than a chick lit. It’s hard to tell because we don’t know who Saint Minston is and what her “conflict” is. If the story revolves around Saint having to deal with going to this school, her conflicts with her environment, and then there is this romance thread on the side (all told with a bit of snark and humor) then it is a chick lit. If it is only about their romance, it is a romance.

EVERYONE Remember: Chick lit is about a female main character’s challenges and growth, with a light and humorous tone. It is not the same thing as a romance novel, even though there may be a big romance plot thread in there.

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This sounds like a cool epic fantasy based on myth.

For a blurb, I’d cut it down a bit. Focus on the main conflict. I’d make the back story info at the beginning of the blurb much smaller. You could even start it with something like “Ten years after Zeus saved his life and declared war on the Titans, Hades fears the gods will be defeated by his despised and despotic father, Cronus, the Titan King. Inspired by the Fates, Hades journeys to the underworld to join forces with Kore, the Daemon Queen.” Then add the bit about Kore and the final paragraph…which is great.

This is not chick lit, though.

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My blurb for Edie’s Diary is short and sweet.

Edie Campbell is the girl with the diary, the diary that she uses to write about her day and how she feels and what she thinks will happen next in her life.

But will these events actually happen to her??

*This my version of Bridget Jones Diary which I never read ever in my life or even watched the movies.

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Funny. I am reading it right now!

I like your blurb. It is short and to the point and I like that a lot. Maybe think about adding a bit more context like age and why she’s focusing on what’s next instead of what already happened. If there is some magical realism going on–like what she writes about comes true–you might want to mention that. Sort of like (and I’m just guessing here about the details), “High school senior, Edie Campbell, keeps a diary. In the little red book, she not only writes about her day and what she feels, but also scribbles down what she thinks will happen next in her life. But what if every time she writes about her future in the diary, it comes true, often with unexpected consequences? Edie has to make a choice. Does she want to plan everything in her life ahead of time? Or would it be better, after all, to let the universe decide?”

Something like that?