The first line of a story is crucial to hooking the reader. Does your first line hold up to the test?
NOTE: Please be honest but kind with your feedback. This is a place to leave feedback and ratings in order to help others with an aspect of their story through constructive criticism and feedback. Rude, degrading, or mean comments will be flagged and reported.
Rate the line above you on a 1-10 scale. (e.g. 5/10, 9/10, etc.) Do not rate incomplete sentences or titles.
Leave constructive criticism, feedback, and/or comments on why you gave the rating you did so the author can know what they might want to change or leave the same.
Post the title of your story and first line of your story. By “first line” I mean the first 1-3 sentences. Please do not post incomplete sentences. If you sentence runs over, simply post the full thing. Incomplete sentences will not receive ratings.
Be kind and considerate. Honesty is appreciated, but rudeness, mean comments, degrading or attacking comments, and insults will be flagged and reported.
I’ll start us off!
Title: Thin Walls
I cannot remember the last time I saw such lifeless eyes.