Roast your own fantasy novel


You give too much exposition and take forever and a half to update. Your punctuation needs improvement and you give way too much detail for your characters without letting your readers breathe. Somehow you were able to get over 1,000 reads in less than 2 months. If you are able to get that Wattpad needs help. :rofl::rofl:

This is more fun than I thought.


As long as he’s not like that kid from Attack on Titan, I think you’ll be fine.


Reader:: I’m not trying to be mean, but Alexis is kind of a wimp. I mean I get that she’s been through some serious stuff with her dad, but I mean, they’re in completely different states now. Not to mention she hasn’t seen him in a year!

Hopefully those weird wispy thingys take her and give her a backbone. I hate characters that can’t stand up for themselves and shy away from things that scare them!


That was WAY too much fun. Did anyone else read that in a child’s voice?

And now the only thing that’s keeping me from regretting writing about Alexis is the fact that I plan to give her a lot of character development😂


Me As A Reader: This book was so hard to follow. The little details that we didn’t need to know, and the overly complicated rules of this world really sucked me out of the fun. The Protagonist is such a little crybaby, just have fun already! He always had something to complain about, so annoying. This book tried way to hard to make the cliches enjoyable. All it did was remind us why they sucked in the first place.

Something like that, I think. My current projects takes all the cliche fantasy stuff and toss it in my world of imagination. I wanted to prove the cliche and cringey can still be a good read regardless of how many times it’s been beat to death. All that matters is the way the story is told. But a big flaw of my is over writing. Run on sentences, too wordy. Too much details. Yikes


The idea is to give criticism at the end of the book. We’re kind of pointing out flaws to ourselves and seeing where we’d like to improve our own novels.


That’s very true


Staying Human: A girl decides it’s better to turn into a cat than to look for a cure and stay human, because turning into a cat means she gets to make out with a dude who’s going to be a dog in a few days. Logic!

Amber Silverblood: This guy was channeling his inner James Patterson while writing this. This book is so Maximum Ride it hurts. And no, that’s not a compliment.

The Slayer and the Sphinx: First a catgirl, then werewolves, and now a guy falls in love with a sphinx. Literally, a sphinx. Girl’s head, lion’s body. Also wings, because she’s not not-human enough already. Dude’s a furry, no matter how many times he says he isn’t.

Juryokine: TWIST. VILLAIN. OBVIOUS. FROM. FIRST. CHAPTER. Also, the main character’s name is Toke. Yeah. You can tell what the author was doing while writing this.
(I’m just kidding. I don’t do drugs)
(Also I’m not a furry. Seriously.)

Juryokine: Exile of Heroes: The bad guy is driving the plot, and he only makes, like, four appearances. Everything else is Toke wondering if he wants to marry the half naked chick who keeps throwing herself at him. The main character’s name is still Toke, if you wondering.

The Gray Ranger: Unforgiven: Oh, suuure. Nobody’s ever read a high fantasy cowboy story, so that means it’s OBVIOUSLY a good idea, and not desperately hipsterish. The main heroine (such as she is) has fur, a tail, and long pointy ears. The author goes into a lot of detail about how having her tail out is considered nudity. Because he’s not a furry. Nope.


Chimeran (Other WIP): Guessss what? People turning into unholy human/animal hybrids like it’s some kind of superpower. Because he’s not a furry. This is just a trope that keeps reoccurring completely naturally, in almost all of his books, all on its own. Freak.


Knights of Lore
Six MCs, all mary sues with woe is me backstories. They only take L’s to paint the illusion that they can fail. In actuality, if they were children they’d probably be spoiled lol. Also, what’s up with all the gore? It’s like a Saw movie or some shyt. Also, also why the flying shyt is Kaden trying to persuade someone who wants him dead? Is he stupid? I think you took too much from naruto bro.


so like the characters in this book just keeps being gay with each other even though the author did not clearly want them to be. EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER it looks as if they’re about to bang each other’s lights out with their ambigious diccs. And that’s not even touching the plot. Oh hell no. If you think the book just revolves around hormonal young adults–yes y o u n g a d u l t s–then you thought wrong. They’re basically just going about in an adventure to satisfy their gay thoughts while being oblivious about the world ending–BECAUSE OF THEIR GAYNESS

Talk about me throwing a tantrum around because of how i designed the characters in my story haha. Well anyways, the plot kinda drags a little (okay A LOT) because of all the romantic subplots i keep spraying around like water. Also i do believe the plot is overused. The stakes are cliche and all of that, but, hopefully, I do this without being boring and formulaic and predictable. Ugh.


Eren, right? Oh lordy, I haven’t touched upon AOT since like… 2015 or something, I barely remember how he was like. Pretty sure my characters are different though, haha! Any brattiness is mostly played for laughs, so…


I also have a lot of my characters be able to turn into animals and such…or be part animal or have animal features. Also, they do a lot of growling to express themselves, so I totally get this self criticism you gave yourself


A chance to roast my own novels? I definitely can’t pass this one up. cracks knuckles Let’s do this! :smiley:

The Imperial Novice:

My main concern is the fact that this so-called story still has yet to be completed, despite you spending over two years supposedly improving on it. Seriously, it’s like you don’t even know what you’re doing! You’ve got an overpowered main character who acts like he’s constantly on his period, a tsundere girl who explodes whenever someone dares talk to her, and a stupid, glasses-wearing pervert who exists solely to get beaten up by the tsundere bitch - the same person he has a freakin’ crush on, by the way. WHY? Is he a masochist?!

But wait, it gets worse. The plot is cliché, the chapters are too long and the so-called original aspects are just medieval things combined with “magic”. Boring. I’m not reading anymore.

Messenger From The Sky:

Another story featuring a tsundere girl? Wow, you’re sooo original when it comes to character stereotypes. I can tell your crap writing a mile away. This time we’ve got another cliché plot: tsundere girl and an angel (who is a boring idiot) team up with a moody dwarf to find a pair of magic keys. LOL! What the hell? Oh, and were you trying to be funny when you wrote that scene where the tsundere girl finds the angel naked in her room and gets all embarrassed? Because that wasn’t funny, it was just creepy! Also, why would her brother arrange for the two of them to share a room when they aren’t even a couple? Shouldn’t he protecting her from a strange man? It’s so stupid!


:joy: I’mma give this a shot because these are way too funny.

So first of all, this book is, like, 3000 pages. The beginning is slow, the world is way too complex, the main character is a whiny, smartass, privileged teenage girl, and I didn’t understand any of it because the author thought that making a world filled with entirely their own species would be more fun than just making a book with animals people would actually know. It takes six books to find out that the MC has a crush, and then she doesn’t even do anything about it. The ‘villain’ does good things, I couldn’t ever tell if she was actually going crazy or faking it, and then we got her backstory and suddenly everyone was sympathizing with her too. Like, who is even the antagonist here? Half the main group—which ended up at 13 characters, mind you—wanted to run away more than fight her, and the amount of POVs made me literally dizzy. Like, pick your MC and commit to it. She took up most of the book anyways.


There were too many characters. Who uses this many characters to tell a story? Also, the entire thing feels like an an analogy of suicide. Not like I want to die, but seriously, the book feels like everyone is just trying to off themselves. But hey, there’s a dragon and some cool magic stuff going on, so I guess it’s not that bad. Wait, no. It’s bad. Don’t read it.


And you know what I did right after writing this? I went and rewrote the beginning of Magnus Knights again…


That’s the whole purpose of the thread…


What is?


oh yay, time to DESTROY myself in order to create immunity for when OTHER ppl destroy me :smiley: hells yeah, i’m gonna be unstoppable after this, no one will be able to hurt me more than i hurt myself : )

k first of fucking all, the title is paracosm? what the fuck does paracosm mean? do they ever even say that word in the book? is it even a real word? it’s probably a word you found when you researched “aesthetic words” cuz you’re so against cliche’s that you couldn’t even think of a normal title. also, it’s a god awful idea to write a book with 57 different genres, like how do you expect to shove medieval dark fantasy, wild west, scifi, and modern mystery into the same book? and do you really think it’s gonna be well written like that? also, what’s up with all the villains? istg, you have a fetish for jerks, i mean, the only decent characters are the four side characters, even the main character is a dickwad. it’s like you got a million different book ideas and that made you frustrated so you put them all into one book. also, you got your characters from reading about the different kinds of representation minority groups want to see in media…and you expect them to be multi dimensional when that’s the reason they exist? give me a break. at least you’re trying to get the representation right. but a book written out of pettiness and spite…are you good? is that what you think makes an author? lord help me.


From my story ‘The Forgotten Kingdom’

Omg its her again, she hasn’t posted any stories for like a year and here she is prancing back in again with all her words and shit. Also why do some parts feel so rushed? and some feel so slow? Eghghh it drives me crazy. Also I just want those two characters together they have obvious chemistry but the authors not doing anything! Also where’s the plot line at, this feels like filler even though the author keeps assuring us its important. Also what is with all of the names starting with E in the MC’s family, it’s just strange tbh. Also, whats up with all of this decline in magic and shit it makes no sense.
The plot line occasionally doesn’t make sense or is forgotten completely until editing. Really just a wannabe writer without enough time on their hands._