Sci-Fi Say Hi - Open Story Critique



I’m going to start tweeting my crits from today using the Wattpad hashtag.

Anyone active on Twitter want to share their Twitter username so I can tag their stories properly?


I use Twitter, but it is pretty dead at #Wattpad try adding #amreading

You can link up with me @LeidaPaleo


I use the #amreading and #amwriting tags all the time. The #amwriting tag is incredibly busy. Met most of the people I follow on that tag.


I finished @OctaviaLocke chapter 4

I feelthat pro-con are related. It is a POV switch chapter, so you get to start on an entirely different story arc. It is normal for the beginnings of the multipov stories that it is not immediately clear how the arcs will intersect. The POV anxiety in this chapter is palpable, and his situation is interesting, but, absolutely, there is the swap effect, where I felt I am reading a completely different story, not necessarily even in the same setting. I would not have minded a few stronger hints connecting the world, if not the stories.


I’m coming up on a POV switch myself and am angsting over it. Not only will I have to switch to writing a man’s POV, but multipov is as much a matter of taste as first person present is. Some people might be taken by surprise and not like it.


I am not, and I like multipov stories, but I prefer that there are connections that you can identify, apart from the assumption that you are still in the same storyline. The common names, items, themes, things like that, ya know?


I’m hoping I get the balance right. My POV switch comes after Neylan crash lands (writing that bit now) on a quarantined planet and is taken in by a local Doctor. It’s his POV I’ll be switching to, so they’ll meet and their story lines will merge pretty quickly.


I dig this plot twist so much! It reminds me of Monza in my favorite books of all times, Best Served Cold.


So, no pressure on me then. LOL. I need to start plotting the middle of the story, because otherwise I’ll soon be pantsing it, and that is terrifying.


I have finished chapter 1 of Easy Money and I have to say I am beyond impressed with the opening :slight_smile: It had the perfect amount of exposition, with great information about the character’s personality as well as the world sprinkled throughout. I think I may file that one away to re-read and take notes so I can make my own openings better :slight_smile:


Btw, you are next on my hit list, friend.


I picked up @Poundcake93 Sentinel’s chapter 8 last night. This is where the story deviates from a more traditional Star Wars narrative but still maintains its roots. Also, ah, the old classes are in! Very cool!


Just tackled Stellar Cruises, chapter 3 by @DomiSotto

Pros: Fabulous opening paragraph describing the Jovian cloudscape. Also the descriptions of Zan Zar chasing through the atmosphere gives a much greater insight in to his personality than we’ve had before.
Cons: Fight scene goes on way too long. As a result it loses almost all of its threat. Needs to be much more punchy.


Thank you for al, the useful comments! Yes, that fight is something I am not sure how to deal with. Certain things must happen in it for the story to make sense, and it makes it long. I wish I could just write the aftermath to avoid some of the blow by blow, but it’s plot-important. Am stumped for now.


Checking out @OctaviaLocke Us, Broken tonight.


My Twitter is @conradbrubaker and usually can be found as my name or UniversalChaosPaladin on the net.


I find Us, Broken to be a great story. I’m planning on reading the whole story. I don’t have anything new to add, yet.


I haven’t been here for a while : I’m working on a first draft for a sci-fi short story that I’ll published separately on my Wattpad page.

Stay tuned !

If only I can submit a cover request for this project. I’m too bad to make my own covers.


I made my covers for my short stories. I used Canva which is browser based and comes with an ebook template. You just need to find a background image. Give me a shout if you want some help.


The covers in general are bane of my existence, heh.