Sci-Fi Say Hi - Open Story Critique



I’ve always struggled with FP POV. I don’t know what it is about it that makes me uncomfortable, I just prefer to read and write in 3rd person. It would be interesting to see if any academic studies have been done on why people prefer one POV over the other. I suspect people who prefer 1st person POV are empathetic and people who prefer 3rd person POV are sympathetic.

Present tense is something I’ve only come across recently and it does take a lot of getting used to. Every now and again I’ll hit a tense change and it’ll break the spell. That seems to be less of an issue for me in past tense, unless the writer gets it really wrong. :smile:


I understand though that it is how the character feels, and it makes sense for him.


I agree with you on tenses! I think it might be a little reflective on what people grew up reading. Not all, of course, but maybe a few. I, myself, grew up reading a lot of third person, so that’s how I prefer to write.

I try to push my boundaries so that’s why I try, emphasis on try, to write in first person.


Thank you for having me! :grinning:

I look forward to reading everyone’s wonderful stories!


Now I’m curious…:grin:


Hey everybody! Can’ wait for everybody to get to each other’s stories. I am almost jumping at how cool this thread will be. Just because I am posting, I might as well put my book. You can also find it about thirty posts down, but whatevs.

My book is called “The Final Barrier”
It is about a man named Cole who is shot into space for seemingly no reason. Once he reaches mission destination, he slowly realizes what he was sent to do, and the truth behind NASA, the people who shot him up there.


Oh, I thought all the links got automatically added to that first post.

Stand-by, I am adding every posted link in manually :slight_smile:

Also, this is the place where we don’t do shy. Any particular chapter bothers you, post the link to that chapter.


Thanks pal, appreciate it. I won’t be afraid


Ok. Will work on it. Have a #WIP for Gill Rune. Making new cover.


I have the same views as @DomiSotto .

I did read more and halfway down Chapter 2 I believe it would be a better first chapter. The parts in the present first chapter could be brought into focus later.

I Don’t know if anyone else would agree with me on that. But, I would recommend checking it out at least that far in.


Well, if you can’t wait that long…

Google the male angler fish. Poor guy.


I get it. I like my first chapter as the first chapter because it makes you familiar with the MC without seeing right through him, and it plants the seeds for a future plot. I love the support though, and I am churning out some edits as hard as I can with my schedule. I love the feedback, for I need it bad. Grammar nazis are how my book will float in a sea of drowned ideas.



I tried the Minute in Infinity

PRO: energetic style, and very interesting situation the character finds himself in, with well-paced dialogue once the dialogue starts.

CON: the first half of the chapter has that cheesy ST Original series vibe to it, which you can capitalize on eventually for the right audience. The first few paragraphs imo give contradictory emotional state for MC pulling me in two different directions, instead of bonding.


Sweats not sure what the ST Original series is but thanks for the advice!




Hey guys, sorry I’ve been MIA for a few days. Work has been crazy and we’ve got that silly American holiday thing… I promise I’ll get back to reading this weekend.



Despite the Present Tense, I had very positive impressions of Us, Broken

Pro: a competent MC, and a great philosophical premise, well presented without spreading all over the place, and using any kind of pretentious high-brow language. It has a fresh sprout vibe in the barren field of dystopia. Despite the title that suggests a soap.

Con: it is a first draft, so there is a bit in the first chapter, that imo, lessens the impact by drawing the attention from the cool MC and cool premise to more trivial staff. Present Tense, it is not intrusive, and the book is not flipping the tense switches randomly, but I just can’t see why.


For sure, thank you. Long-term is what matters. Wattpad algorithms favours consistent audience over time. This is what we should be aiming to create.


Put up cast list information after last chapter


Good folks, I cannot take on the Perfect State, it has a topic I avoid. Anyone could do a read, please?

Thank you!!!