Sci-Fi Say Hi - Open Story Critique

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#121

Confetti!!! The party is on! I will bump it up my reading list to get to it next :slight_smile:


#122

Done chapter 2 of Stellar Cruises.

Pros: some great imagery and a very human sense of humour in the dialogue.

Cons: The action is too much like Chapter One and I think the way that Zan’Zar expresses himself is entirely too human. Words that are considered profanities or taboo differ across human cultures, let alone between humans and aliens. The chances that Zan’Zar would swear using the same imagery as humans is highly unlikely.


#123

Ha! I now have a new goal, finding the great octopus curses.


#124

Congrats! That definitely deserves a drink - or two…:grin:


#125

It has the potential for hilarity, especially if his translator has absolutely no concept of profanity and translates him literally every time.


#126

Thank you, an alien crew member later on has a modified translator that gives his speech the flavor that he likes, but I missed the boat on Zan.


#127

Just remember Grabthar’s Hammer and the Sons of Warvan. :smile:


#128

Oh, gods, I love that movie!


#129

I may have to watch it after my traditional Christmas Eve showing of Die Hard (best Christmas movie ever made). :smile:


#130

Yes! Die Hard is the best Christmas Movie! My husband I watch it every year too! :grinning:


#131

I can watch anything with Bruce Willis for Xristmas… ahem.

What I am trying to say, I picked up @TEHauxwell chapter 1.3! Sorry for being slow, i’ve been through a navel gazing session today. Found nothing interesting in my navel, but Chapter 1.3 is pretty exciting. It might have a middle that is a bit too heavy for me, but the conflict is fun, and it ends with an explosion.

I am picking the next chapter of @ConradBrubaker Universal Chaos Web, anyone is taking a dive with me?


#132

I usually watch 1 & 2 as the second one is also a pretty good Christmas film.


#133

Heya, good folks!

I caught up on @ConradBrubaker Chapter 4. I think the book’s strength is dialogue, for sure. It is very natural-modern. I find the switches of POV in short bits jarring still, but I am getting used to it. It’s a bit like tv show cutting to flash-scenes…

Also, picked up Chapter 7 of the Sentinel, by @Poundcake93 it is certainly a soul food for me! I can’t lie, I love the Old Republic!

I will check through the list, see what I can catch up next…

Also, guys, I do implore to participate and draw others in, maybe… I know everyone’s busy with NaNo and all… but find a few minutes to be excellent to one another :slight_smile:


#134

I plan on picking some stories up tonight. As well as - hopefully - finishing Nano. :slight_smile:


#135

I am starting to see the ‘Won NaNo’ announcements. Fingers crossed for you!


#136

Agree with you there. I’ve just finished Chapter 4 too. Conrad writes excellent dialogue. On the cons side try to avoid opening every new scene in the same way, and trust you’re audience to know what you’re talking about. That way you avoid a lot of repetition.


#137

Just tackled part one of The Final Barrier by @SpaceIsCool12 I must have missed this when I did my first round of crits.

Pros: Mature writing and a great sense of place.
Cons: I think we need to see more of the MCs emotional reactions. He’s coming across as rather detached right now. Also I’m not entirely bought in to the notion that NASA would shoot an astronaut in to space without giving him any mission parameters. If the nature of his mission needs to remain hidden I find it more plausible they would lie about the mission’s purpose, rather than not provide one at all.


#138

By the way, on that front, I’m still mulling setting up a profile for undiscovered works on the main WP site. While I was mid-procrastination on chapter 1.3 I even made a profile graphic / sticker.

What do you think?


#139

Looks cool! Maybe something more sci-fi instead of country though? Maybe just The Unexplored?


#140

Love that you collected our stories in one post. I guess I can put The Expanse series down and participate here lol