Sci-Fi Say Hi - Open Story Critique



There are a couple of stories that can fit in Cyberpunk, maybe with Easy Money? I will put it under Futuristic for this week, then maybe split out for the next week.


Could be cyberpunk, but I think of it as being Science Fantasy. The fantastical elements develop more as the story goes on. It set in the past (ancient Sumeria), modern day England and a futuristic city. The story is told from three perspectives in the different times…

Should I choose a story from the list, read and offer feedback in story, then again here?

Happy to be part of the thread :slight_smile:


Oh, if this is a time-travel/time slips I can put it with @salemkeating story too.

Yes, the idea is to check out a few stories during the week & leave a few comments on the WP, plus keep this club going, hang out, find new folks to join in, etc. Either pick from the list what strikes your fancy, or if you see someone reading something & posting their impressions, and get curious, read it & join the discussion too.


Yeah, It def suits, There and Back in Time.

Great. This is a really cool thread. I can’t wait to start reading. Adding @salemkeating 's book to my list now.


Picked up the first chapter of @ThingsUCantImagine book. As a gamer myself, I liked the reality layering that we all experienced in the mmo, and the observation about the players investing in the game beyond its actual significance. I have to say, that I liked the antagonist of this chapter quite a lot, while I sort of got a bit lost in the conflict to notice the third character to come on the scene.

Third chapter of Easy Money - characterization is spot on in @ClearLightNarratives to create living persons. Very amusing, too. :slight_smile:


Thanks for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Do you and @tehauxwell have books on the list that I can start reading?


A quick look tells me yes haha


I really enjoyed reading @TEhauxwell 's prologue and first chapter. I can see that we’re in for an intense space opera involving mystery and hopefully pirate hunters! I’m looking forward to reading more!


I’ve just finished chapter one of The Final Barrier :slight_smile: I liked the premise of the story and really dig the lone explorer vibe. the concept of one man alone in space reminded me of this great movie called Moon.

The only thing I wasn’t too keen on was the main character not knowing what his mission one, it would make it much more believable to me if he was provided with at least some vague objectives. And if the character being surprised by what his actual mission entails is integral to the plot then his initial orders could be a lie. It wouldn’t be the first time a big organization has lied to one of its members in a sci-fi setting but that’s a trope that I never seem to tired of :slight_smile:


I know, it’s pretty tight and exciting!


Thanks so much! I do try to make my characters as real as I can.


And you are certainly succeeding!


Easy Money is next on my “To Read” list :stuck_out_tongue: I just finished the blurb and I’m already hooked in, can’t wait to dig into the first chapter


Thank you. I’ve been on a cruise for the last week, so I’ve been inactive. Lots of typos are in my story, so I am still grinding before I release a new chapter.


Oh my God. That is wayyyy better than not knowing! I will chew on that later, thanks!


Hi good folks! Going to do an insignificant update to the first post, to change the date…

Starting this week with @ConradBrubaker chapter 4. Believe it or not, it has a cleaner robot that gets into a fight… that’s my kind of thing :slight_smile:

How’s everyone, and please give shout outs wit( any updates!


I’ve had a writing and critting free weekend so I could get all my Christmas shopping done at once.

Achievement unlocked. :smile:

Back to furious scribbling tomorrow.


Looking forward to the new chapter :slight_smile: I am trying to get a day a week like that when I am off everything


Would anyone here classify their books as Young Adult. If yes, then I am starting a YA bookclub and would love for you to join. Right now I’m limiting our membership to 20. It would be great to have some writers with quality works joining.

Please feel free to tag people who have YA books!!


Just finished critting Chapter 2 of Us, Broken by @OctaviaLocke

Pros: Freddie’s End scene is delightful, with just the right amount of sinister to suggest something is horribly amiss.
Cons: Amanda and her divorce. While I’m sure the connection between this sub plot and the rest of this story will resolve itself, right now it feels a little irritating.