Why did they attack him? Is there a reason, or is it just random violence?
random violence, they also need recources as well, so instead of attacking other elves or the orcs or traveling all the way across Casterly (the world) they choose to attack the Ska (the Mal’ela live inside a mountain, where they can access their dark powers more easily, the light elves or Lux’ela live on top of that mountain, where they can be closer to the sun and more easily access their light powers)
Ah, so they were just in the way… that almost makes it more tragic!
the Ska are hated by everyone, but are deadly in battle, the only ones who can compete with them without magic are the Sha’ska, who are fine warriors themselves, they live mainly in the desert but have sprawled into the plains to get vital resources when the desert is too inhospitable for them, since the Dza’cron are psychic, they see attacks coming long before they happen, and can enter an animal and use them for surveillance, so they always see the Ska and Sha’ska, but sadly the Ska are a desperate people (I also am thinking of Ajal having a curse on him, placed by a Dza’cron when he went to them for powerful magic to help him get revenge, I’m thinking lycanthropy, powerful, but with a price, he asked for power and the orcs answered)
also, this story has not one mind, but two minds shaping it as I am co-writing with someone, we made our own characters, and on his hunt for revenge, Ajal will come across and become stuck with my co-writer’s character and we will slowly bring our 7 characters total together
This is kinda two paragraphs, but I don’t think the second makes much sense without the first
He took my hand, features lighting up in a melancholy sort of way. “We can pretend.” He pulled my jacket tighter around my shoulders, sliding an arm around me and pulling me close as we walked to his brother’s atrociously expensive car. “Tonight, we can pretend.”
He didn’t elaborate, but he didn’t need to. We both understood the unspoken words all too well. Tonight, we don’t need to put on the mask of happiness or calm. Tonight, we can be tired. Tonight, we can be weary. Tonight, we can pretend that we aren’t two broken people fighting to hold together the only people we’ve ever cared for.
Aww, very sweet.
Her tears fell and made tiny mounds in the gray dust. “Go sleep, Xi. The night is falling.”
“Do you need a lullaby?”
He was tempted, as a matter of fact. To fall asleep to his mother’s voice again, and wake up with his head as empty as a reed whistle, to not know a demon from a human any longer, or gray from azure. “I’ll have to meditate for a while. I… I love you.” I love you too, he meant.
“It was all within the duel, so he can’t complain,” said Drake as he pulled on a clean undershirt.
“Just tell me you were going to stop yourself if I hadn’t pulled you off him. I haven’t seen you lose control like that in ages.”
“His face is as delicate as a child’s. I just gave him a few extra punches so he remembered not to mess with my things. It has been coming for a long time between us. At least this way it was somewhat honorable and it can end quietly.”
“I understand this is a topic you are passionate about, it pains me as well to sell ourselves to them for their wood, but that wood? It goes to making sure our people have a home and that we have weapons to fight the Mal’ela and even the Velves with, should they become too bloodthirsty. Sometimes, a good decision looks bad, but that is only because you keep yourself ignorant of the wrong one, which is even uglier than the good. Doing the right thing and doing the wrong thing can often be the same, but it is when a decision is hard to follow through with that you know it is the right one. Why? Because doing the right thing is never easy, and if it is, you must ask yourself what else you are missing. Those who wear the crown can never afford to be fools, Xerxes, and someday, you will be Emperor when my light leaves me.” His father said.
Here is mine, emperor Cain talking to the prince, Xerxes
Does it make sense? How can I make his advice to his son better?
dialogue tags help, it sounds good, but I don’t understand what all happened before hand, but I can gather there was a fight
Erza directed the security guard to send their belongings to the nearby hotel. Then, she went to the adjacent car park and rented a green Magic Powered Cart. It was a cart with only the passenger seats covered with roof. This cart purely operated by consuming the magic power of the driver. The stronger the mage was, the faster the cart could accelerate. Without dilly-dallying, Erza hopped onto the open-air driver seat. “Guys, hurry up! We must stop Eligor, even at the cost of our lives!”
When they had all boarded the cart, Erza placed her hand on the steering wheel and the driving gear. Steel collars clasped around her wrists. It looked like some build-in safety measurement. “Guys, sit still! Here we go!” She pushed the gear, and the cart jumped up to the air.
Isn’t it? . . . Except it’s actually a convo between the MC, who later murders two people, and the person who throws her under the bus XD
Xi sounds Chinese. Where does your story take place? I’m curious
awesome, thanks for your opinion
Something must have gone wrong in my brain, because the next thing I knew my lips were on his, and his hands were in my hair, pulling me tight against him. And then something switched and the soft press of his lips against mine turned hot as my mouth fell open at the brush of his tongue. The taste of the alcohol that had led us here brought me back to reality as I tried to pull away. Gabin sensed my sudden change of mind, but he kept his lips on mine, refusing to let me leave without giving this one last chance. And I admit it, I let him do it because as messed up at it is, it felt right on so many levels.
And then, our lips pulled apart, my heart racing fast.
“Well that just made things weird.” I coughed nervously, reaching for the discarded bottle.
“I’ll drink to that.” Gabin chuckled, bring the rim to his lips.
“The universe, by its very nature, is trying to kill you at all times. My job is not about being worshipped or followed. My job, as the 12 petals, is to protect you from the universe so that it doesn’t kill itself because you are as much of this vast experience as any star in the sky.”
“Get Out!” The volume of that voice contained enough power to throw Captain Prey off his feet. “You almost killed us and now you want to separate us again?” Low and menacing, her voice dropped to far below feminine octaves, each word dripping with deathly intent. “You will not touch us, we will not allow it. We are at last whole, and no one, not even you, will break us apart again.” In a flash she had herself curled around his head and shoulders, his head resting in her lap.
But her anger was not finished. Black mist began to rise from under the white sheet. It ran over the bed hit the floor and raced for the walls. Like thick fog on a summer day it began to fill the room, becoming thicker and thicker until Captain Prey had to crab walk out the door to get away from it.
The instant he was out the door, the blackness filled the entire room. Turning, he extended his arm and tried to swipe his hand through the blackness. But instead of rolling mist, his hand contacted a solid wall of black.
“This time you’re staying out!” The voice of the girl drifted from within the room, muffled by the blackness between them.
Okay it’s more then one paragraph but it all fits together.
When he went still, Ridley crouched down, “when you meet Lialae, ungrateful wretch that you are, kindly give her my regards…” Ridley said before ripping his spear out, his knife and then his scimitars. “Come along horse, you should not have witnessed such horror, I shall name you Zarkor.” Ridley said as he made sure he had his things. Then he mounted Zarkor, leaving Ma’aador’s body for the carrion…
Yup, just tied up a murder scene with this paragraph
Only members from a family branch could brandish a family’s crest. Kariah-Belle’s mother had been massacred along with the rest of her branch which meant Kariah should be the only person to bare the Nadirè crest. Why did this guy have something that belonged to her family’s heritage?
She stared at him. Her head buzzing with questions.
Then their eyes met.
Her mind went blank as her vision was taken over by a flash of light that was like a canvas for two dark silhouettes. One was tall. It seemed to be wearing a helmet with horns and frills.
The second silhouette looks as though it was a small child. The child looked as though it was thrusting a sword into the taller silhouette’s chest.
The image left as fast as it came as Kariah-Belle’s vision came back to her. She placed a hand on her temple to massage away the sudden dizziness she felt. “What the hell just happened?” She whispered.
I approached the trap door, the light from the outside streaming through the wooden cracks. My heart pounded as my hands grasped the metal handle; I was finally starting my journey.
Justice for my family was out there, waiting for me; I could feel it in my core.
The secrets that my parents hid from my siblings and I would finally be out in the open, and I was ready to embrace them. One push of a door, and they would soon be mine.
I took a deep breath, allowed the adrenaline take control, and opened the door to the light.